The Duke and Duchess of Sussex today announced their support
from Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour party. Princess
Meghan said “We fully support the Labour party’s vision of a 32 hour working
week. We should live to work not work to
live. This is why, while not going out
on strike, recently we have instituted a policy of working to rule.”
Prince Harry rejoined “Yes, whilst politically neutral for
constitutional reasons... the Royal Family have an unearned reputation of being secret
Tories but we actually have a strong heritage of socialism in "the firm". My
great Uncle Edward famously withdrew his labour in the 1930s because the Church
of England discriminated against him for his poor choice of women and because
he invited the wrong kind of people to cocktail parties. We have decided to do something similar for similar reasons...”
Prince Andrew, who has also cut down on his Royal duties
recently, chimed into the debate: “I did everything I could to reduce the costs
of the Monarchy to the taxpayer,” he said, “such as staying at friend’s houses
while I was abroad rather than renting posh penthouses but all the thanks I got
was barbed accusations that I was visiting houses of ill repute. People think it’s easy being a Royal but it’s
actually very difficult to ask someone “Hello, and what do you do?”
particularly so when they may come back with the answer “I’m an underage
prostitute.””
Prince Phillip was unavailable for a racist comment having
previously withdrawn his labour on the grounds he was too old to stand up and
therefore his stand-up comedy routines about slitty eyed foreigners no longer
had the same punch when being delivered from a wheelchair.
“In order for my kind of comedy to work,” he said, “one has
to punch down rather than up and that’s something one cannot do well sitting down. Besides which my grandson tells me some of my jokes about foriegners are no longer as funny as they were and I should make way for alternative comedy...” One of Prince Phillips most recent gigs was described by the press as a "car crash".
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