Director General of the BBC Tim Davie said today that he cannot be arsed with Television anymore

 

Director General of the BBC Tim Davie said today that he "Cannot be arsed with Television anymore." 

Elaborating further he added "Imagine a world that is internet-only, where broadcast TV and radio are being switched off and choice is infinite amounts of rubbish and American imports because tariffs stop us selling our rubbish over there."  

"A switch-off of broadcast TV will and should happen over time, and we should be active in planning for doing nothing in the future.  Certainly not breaking down pictures into digital electrical signals and trying to send them over the airwaves.  For years we've been wasting money on big transmitters like the one at Alexandra Palace when everyone's watching streaming services like Netflix and Amazon."

"It's clear to me that things started to go wrong when we didn't develop a similar system of sending our images down wires as that pioneered by Associated Rediffusion in the 1960s.  They were so successful at sending pictures down wires in Kent that they were later bought out by Victor Lewis-Smith who is now sadly pushing up the daisies and has gone to meet that great Gay Dalek in the sky".  

"Personally I believe John Logie Baird has a lot to answer for.  He may have invented television but he sold it to everyone as this thing with limited infrastructure that was easy to maintain.  Of course now we realise that what we actually needed was lots of computers and wires because people are too disorganised to be in when our important television programs are on.  Still that was the week that was.  It's over.  Let it go."

In his Wreath Lecture Mr Davie also lamented the BBC's long standing policy of applying alternating current antennas to radiate electromagnetic signals for the BBC Home Service on the wireless.  

"Last year," he said, "we decided to turn off the Longwave radio signal and this was an outstanding success that resulted in many Economy 7 electricity meters instantly ceasing to work and having to be replaced by Smart Meters that use a completely different section of the electromagnetic spectrum that also contains microwaves so you can also use them to cook.  A small price to pay for Test Match Special now being unavailable in the European Union since we left."  He said he felt that similar results could be achieved by switching off all TV transmitters by 2030.  

However, some detractors on the BBC Board raised some concerns that this might leave a few old people in remote places without pictures of King William V's Coronation.

Other ideas floated by Mr Davie for the continuation of the BBC beyond the end of the Licence Fee include merging bits of the BBC with Channel 4.  "Nothing should be off the table and neither of us makes much anyone wants to watch anymore," said Mr Davie, "and I think we have much common ground there."