Tuesday, 22 January 2019
Parliament debates how to fit a quart into a pint pot
Yesterday in Westminster MPs from all parties met with the Prime Minister in order to discuss how a pint pot could be made to contain a quart. Boris Johnson speculated that a quart when accelerated to near the speed of light might occupy less space than a pint while Jeremy Corbyn said that not trying to put a quart into a pint pot would be a betrayal of all the people who wanted to drink their beverages in imperial quantities. Mrs May speculated that by using a quart that was carbonated some extra space could be made by waiting for the bubbles to evaporate. However the DUP said that once the gas had evaporated the quart would no longer be a quart and they would only accept a pint. Mrs May replied that not getting a quart into a pint pot would have grave consequences. Some people suggested a second pint glass might be used but Mrs May said the public would not accept 2 pints instead of 1 pint and when given such a bribe might think they had been lied to. The European Commission's chief spokesman Margaritis Schinas said that "It is obvious that you cannot get a quart into a pint pot". Pushed to speculate what might happen if a quart was into a pint pot, he said, it was "pretty obvious you will have some spillage". However, the Irish government has repeated its stance that it will "not accept any spillage from any pint pot in order to accommodate a quart". Neither will the DUP.
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