It’s easy to make logical arguments about the totally
undemocratic nature of the Monarchy but Republicans often struggle for a good emotional
argument against the ludicrous real life soap opera that is the British Royal
Family. So I feel it important to say that yesterday I discovered
a killer one – it’s called Gyles Brandreth.
My first experience of Gyles Brandreth was in the 1980s when
he seemed to be permanently glued to TVAM’s sofa in a series of loud
jumpers. Later he went into politics and
respresented City
of Chester with
a similar level of vacuity. He spent a
lot of time too in Countdown’s dictionary corner. If you’re wondering how anyone manages to
have such a varied career when their main skills are talking flimsy whimsy the
answer is that he was President of the Oxford Union in Michaelmas Term 1969. Yes, it’s our old friend Oxbridge
privilege. All of these things are
forgivable as the Brandreth is by and large pretty harmless…
However, these days when anything Royal happens someone on the
wireless or the TV drags out Gyles Brandreth from under a stone as a talking
head on all matters Royal. And then a
level of bottom kissing that is beyond satire ensues. If you’re wondering what qualifications Gyles
Brandreth has to be a Royal expert the answer is none whatsoever except penning
two crawling “biographies” one about the “love affair” between the Queen and
Prince Phillip and the other about the “love affair” between Charles and Camilla. Whether Brandreth has any real intimacy with
the Royal Family or just knows some friends of friends of the Royal Family or
has interviewed them one thing’s for sure … he seems to verbally climb so far
up the Royal Family’s posterior that it makes one wonder if the late Queen
Mother didn’t have a colostomy purely to keep her bowels Brandreth free.
I’m not saying he’s never said anything negative
about the Royal Family but let’s put it this way… we’re never going see a book
about the “love affair” between Charles and Diana.
According to an eye witness Prince Phillip’s car turned over because he was startled by the sun and not because he was driving like an idiot…
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