Ms May: Can we leave the EU but still remain in the customs union?
EU: Well, no, obviously you can't because your trade deals would compromise ours if you're going to then let in what goods and supplies you want regardless of our customs laws
Ms May: Can't you be a bit flexible on that?
EU: No, by defitinition for a customs union to work we have to negotiate trade deals collectively so we're all doing the same thing at customs?
Ms May: Can't you be a bit more flexible than that?
EU: We said you can keep all our people out and be racist what more do you want?
Ms May: Well, I think my backbenchers would like to be in the customs union but negotiate our own trade deals
EU: I thought we'd just explained that that that would make the custom union its self complete bollocks?
Ms May: Yes, you did but I don't see why you can't be a bit flexible.
EU: GO AWAY!
Ms May: I'm going to trade our right to negotiate our own trade deals for continuing membership of the customs union
Brexiteers: We're a vassal state! We could have done it better! Sack Ms May!
Labour: You know this could all be sorted out with a general election... we have magical powers that mean we could have got that Ms May hasn't
etc
Repeat until the UK crashes out the EU on WTO rules...
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