Brexit negotiations latest...

Brexiteers: When we leave the EU we can negotiate our own trade deals

Ms May: Can we leave the EU but still remain in the customs union?

EU: Well, no, obviously you can't because your trade deals would compromise ours if you're going to then let in what goods and supplies you want regardless of our customs laws

Ms May: Can't you be a bit flexible on that?

EU: No, by defitinition for a customs union to work we have to negotiate trade deals collectively so we're all doing the same thing at customs?

Ms May: Can't you be a bit more flexible than that?

EU: We said you can keep all our people out and be racist what more do you want?

Ms May: Well, I think my backbenchers would like to be in the customs union but negotiate our own trade deals

EU: I thought we'd just explained that that that would make the custom union its self complete bollocks?

Ms May: Yes, you did but I don't see why you can't be a bit flexible.

EU: GO AWAY!

Ms May: I'm going to trade our right to negotiate our own trade deals for continuing membership of the customs union

Brexiteers: We're a vassal state!  We could have done it better!  Sack Ms May!

Labour: You know this could all be sorted out with a general election... we have magical powers that mean we could have got that Ms May hasn't

etc

Repeat until the UK crashes out the EU on WTO rules...