Meanwhile Down Manosphere

CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG BUT, As I turn 52 this year, I have realised, as a man, no one cares about you. Not your wife. Not your family. Not your friends. Not your workmates. Nobody. People act like they care, but deep down, they don't. You are on your own. Always on your own. It's everyone else who is callous.  I can tell this because every time I walk in a room everyone else walks out.  I'm not the problem here.  Everyone else is fake.  It's not fair that no one's there just because I tell them to go away all the time.  They just pretend to try and love and support me but I'm not fooled so I tell everyone else to go away.  And they do because they just don't care.  I'm always on my own.  Even when everyone else is doing things for me.  My name is William Nomates and you'll find me down social media cheering everyone up with my sunny persona.  By the way, when I say correct me if I'm wrong what I mean is I am wrong but I will never let anyone correct me.  Because I'm always right.  They say you can't always be right and in a relationship but I am right.  Very far right.  Right.  People should stand by me like I'm a bus stop so I can take them for a ride and not press the request stop button because it slows everything down which is why there's a public transport strike.  Because nobody cares about you.  What a woman is looking for in a man is self pity.  If you can sit in a corner of a pub telling other men how terrible women are and that you're on your own, they'll soon be on their own too.  Ideally you should be home alone but you can't bring anyone else down unless you mix with them.  Remember they don't really care about you so they deserve to be miserable too.

Local elections in Croydon - what a waste of time...

 .... since the Council is perpetually bankrupt and in special measures and run by Commissioners there is literally no point in voting because whatever box you tick you'll get...

Lead Commissioner : Gerard Curran

Ged Curran is currently a Non-Executive Director at the Enforcement Conduct Board and NHS Cambridge and Peterborough Integrated Care Board. He was previously Chief Executive of the London Borough of Merton from 2004-2021. He held previous roles at board level in Newham, Waltham Forest, and Lambeth Councils, and previously practised as a Solicitor.  No one knows how he's supposed to solve the problem there's no money but he's very good at assessing how bare a cupboard is.

Finance Commissioner: Debra Warren

 

Debbie is currently the Chief Executive of the Royal Borough of Greenwich, a post she has held since 2017. Prior to this she was the Council’s Finance Director for almost 10 years, having qualified as a CIPFA accountant in 1980. With over 35 years of experience working in local government finance, she is also the Chief Executive lead for finance in London and has held that position since 2020.  Her skills include rummaging down the back of sofas looking for small change and overriding elected officials.

Jackie Belton

Jackie is currently a commissioner at Birmingham City Council, leading on housing and environmental services and is a Senior Independent Non-Executive Director at Local Partnerships, a public sector delivery partner. She was the Chief Executive of the London Borough of Bexley (2019-2023) and has held previous senior director roles in Lambeth, Newham, Camden Councils where she had responsibilities for corporate services, housing, planning, regeneration, environment, children and adult services.  Her job is to tell both Birmingham and Croydon they're broke and too dumb to govern themselves 

Cllr Abi Brown OBE

First elected to Stoke-on-Trent City Council in 2010, Abi has served in both administration and opposition. Between 2015 – 2023, she served as first Deputy Leader and then Leader of the Council. Abi chaired the LGA’s Improvement and Innovation Board between 2022-2025, and sits on the LGA’s Board. She is a Non-Executive Director at Homes England, and a trustee of Localis.  Her hobbies include running bankrupt Councils and telling everyone something is bound to turn up.

There are fairer elections in Putin's Russia...

AI Slop kills self publishing

It seems too much AI slop has been created and Smashwords/Draft2Digital's business model has consequently collapsed.  I will not be giving Draft2Digital a penny so my account will eventually deactivate.  I might move some of the old content over to Amazon if I can muster up the enthusiasm... Or it might be time to unpublish from Draft2Digital. Or I should probably just let them die now.  I haven't written any books in about a decade.  Problem is I would need them to unpublish from Amazon so I could reclaim my titles and publish as myself. Etc...  Of course in the good old days books no one reads anymore would go out of print but somehow digital publishing keeps them artificially alive in a living dead kind of way... The lower costs of digital to paper made this business model viable for a while but why would you need my content when AI can generate your own boring and unreadable literature for free.  I don't really plug my old books because I don't really believe in them anymore but if you want to torture yourself... Apart from Seaweed which did make money they are here...

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/MrAEMiller

Promoting thing is such a terrible bore...

Dear Anthony,

For the first time in our history, we’re introducing account activation and maintenance fees. For many existing Draft2Digital authors, especially those with regularly selling books, these fees do not affect you. 

Here’s how they’ll work...

Activation Fee for New Accounts

If you already have a D2D account (if you’re reading this, you probably do), the activation fee doesn’t apply to you. New accounts will include a one-time fee of $20 (USD). This activation fee, combined with our verification tools and human reviewers, will help us maintain a secure, high-integrity publishing environment.

Like many platforms, we’ve seen a significant increase in automated and low-quality account creation in recent years. This onslaught from automated content farms threatens reader trust in indie titles and risks indies being associated with low-quality “slop.” A modest activation fee can make a real difference and allow our team to stay focused on supporting genuine authors like you.

Annual Maintenance Fee

An annual maintenance fee of $12 (USD) will apply to accounts whose earnings from book sales, meaning your net proceeds after D2D’s commission, total less than $100 over the preceding 12-month period. If you earn $100 or more from your book sales over 12 months, you will not be charged this fee.

Draft2Digital is primarily supported by earning commissions on book sales. For accounts that earn less revenue, a small annual fee helps offset a portion of the steadily rising costs we pay to maintain those accounts, including compliance, security, and infrastructure upkeep. 

Maintenance fees will start going into effect in 30 days, on May 14, 2026, and will be based on your account anniversary date. We’ll always notify you in advance.

The Bottom Line

Our goal is to keep D2D a place where authors can publish with confidence. That means continuing to invest in our tools, maintaining strong relationships with retailers, and protecting the legitimacy of indie authors and the trust that readers place in indie books.

If you have questions, additional details can be found on your Account Status page, or you can read our updated terms of service. You can also reach out to our support team via our contact us form at any time.

We appreciate your trust in D2D, and we remain committed to developing and protecting opportunities for indies to reach readers.

Sincerely,

Kris Austin

CEO of Draft2Digital

That would be an ecumenical matter...

Yesterday I received a notification from X stating that my account has been flagged as inauthentic and this would affect my "reach".  That's a laugh I have zero reach.  I don't even see any accounts from anyone I know anymore.  I logged on today to see a load of anti-Catholic propaganda of the type that would make Titus Oats blush.  One lady said that the President would in future be much less ecumenical to the Pope following his comments that laying waste to vast areas of Iran is contradictory to Canon Law [Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraph 2309].  Whilst another person was saying that this was why the US had not had a Catholic President for a 200 year stretch and yet another accused the Pope of being an agent for Islam etc.  Apparently the Pope is too scared to visit the US now as he does not think his safety can be guaranteed.  Don't think Chuck is in a rush to visit either...

Never-the-less I wondered if Elon had a point and my interactions were inauthentic.  Was I reverse engineering X for my own ends?  Well, a quick scan of the internet reveals I'm not the only one.  A large number of people have received similar notifications it seems after falling foul of an algorithm... But what is authenticity?  The only way I find sane people to talk to on there is using the search button.  Otherwise I'd be left talking to fuming US Senators and Moon Landing deniers who believe you can't send human's into space because of the Van Allen belt [it doesn't exist at the poles] and other engagement bait trolls.  I looked up some of the people I follow on there who's posts I never see.  Patrick Monahan posts every day but it's assiduously hidden from me. Matt Green and Wil Hodgson have decamped to Bluesky.  And Gary Webster has gone into hiding because someone is threatening to beat him up - I think it was Arthur Daley who say "'it 'im, Raymond!".  Little could be more inauthentic than X's algorithms so it's having a laugh complaining other people bypass them...

You chose poorly

25TH AMENDMENT!!!
Not a single bomb has dropped on America. We cannot kill an entire civilization.
This is evil and madness. pic.twitter.com/2mdogDRZN4

— Former Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 (@FmrRepMTG) April 7, 2026

I regret supporting Donald Trump.

When I look back at some of my old pro Trump content I CRINGE.

We’re at war with Iran, the Epstein Pedos were never brought to justice, and the amount of fraud going on is insane.

Feel free to roast me.

At least I can admit my mistake. pic.twitter.com/vzY6c6onnB

— Rodney (@cryptojourneyrs) April 6, 2026

Alex Jones:

“How do we 25th Amendment his ass?” pic.twitter.com/zSKBdmZwce

— Republicans against Trump (@RpsAgainstTrump) April 7, 2026

I'll admit it. I was duped by Trump's rhetoric while campaigning. Dude was solid.

Now, I think he needs to be impeached, convicted, and jailed.

— Liberty Tree 🟧 (@LiberteaTree) April 7, 2026

I supported Trump in '24 as the only viable and legitimate candidate running. Maybe those, like me, who expected him to avoid war, simply got conned. But that's not the only valid hypothesis. The deep state appeared to vehemently oppose Trump. Presumably it had contingency plans https://t.co/VOpLuiw2EG

— Bret Weinstein (@BretWeinstein) April 6, 2026

What happened to this guy who I voted for 3 times? pic.twitter.com/M2zf76wIRF

— Louie (@reallouiehuey) April 5, 2026

He is insane.

I am as MAGA as they get. I was a Front Row Joe, 42 rallies, walked the halls of congress 3 times for Trump, became a state delegate, then a national delegate ALL TO SUPPORT TRUMP.

He has absolutely lost me, in fact I'm eyeing the 25th amendment for him because… https://t.co/gQ3xptKrH3

— Trisha Hope - National Delegate-TX (@JustTheTweets17) April 6, 2026

Americans trusted a promise—Make America Great Again.

Millions believed a leader who swore to put us first—no new wars, no endless foreign entanglements.

Now, we see those promises unraveling—more funding for wars abroad, less care for veterans at home. And it’s not just…

— Chris Wick (@ChrisWickNews) April 21, 2026

Multiple indictments, stolen secret documents in the bog, a failed insurrection and fake electors scheme, inciting the murder of his own VP, lying elections were stolen, 34 Felony Convictions for election interference, multiple libel losses against Jean E Carroll, business fraud Convictions in New York, tapes of his saying he grabs women by the pussy....  Fascists... It's always the ones you least expect.  There are so few signs.

No it's not an April Fool

These really are Baron Trump's AI renderings of the proposed Donald Trump Presidential Library....

It will contain huge North Korean sized gold statues of the Supreme Leader of the kind Kim would say were tacky...

...and the full sized Air Force One 

.

Call me a traditionalist but I think one or two books might be an idea ...

I don't know if anyone else has noticed but...

 I don't know if anyone else has noticed but Donald Trump's approval rating (according to the Ecconomist poll of polls) ...

...is now at -20 percent ...which according to historical Statistica data is even lower than Richard Nixon's approval rating after Watergate...

Even some of the die hard Magas on X seem to have reached a point of feeling slightly miffed...

What could have happened?  Pete Hegseth seems particularly uppity at the moment.  I really think the Trump administration could do with a more sympathetic spokesman.  You know, someone like Davros.

We are going to hit them extremely hard over the next two to three weeks.  We are going to bring them back to the stone ages, where they belong.  When all other life forms are suppressed, when Americans are the supreme rulers of the universe, then you will have peace. Wars will end. Donald Trump is the power not of evil, but of good...

Chuck doesn't want to go....

 

I see King Charles's best mate David Dimbelby has been dispatched more-or-less on his lonesome to the Newsnight to grovel for him not to have to go to America to celebrate 250 years since the declaration of Independence.  A pitiful sight... Surely meeting horrible people and sucking up to them is about the only useful thing that the Royals actually do.  Amongst other nonsense he's moaning about freelancers doing stuff line narrating Royal events.  Apparently, they wouldn't have the knowledge to voice over state occasions.  Commentaries like Big Ears has got a big silly hat on again might ensue.  The pomposity doesn't just come off the top of commentator's heads.  It takes months to prepare for.  Boots have to be licked.  Bottoms have to be kissed.  Dukes of Hazard have to be swept under carpets.

Exhausting my patience

Dear Mr. Miller,

Thank you for contacting Vauxhall Customer Care about your Corsa.

I regret to inform you that currently there is no estimated time of arrival (ETA) for your order.  

Our team is diligently working on the case to provide a further update. We have raised the priority of the order to the highest levels in our system, and please be assured we will notify you as soon as we are made aware of a further update.  

Thank you for your patience. 

If you have any other questions in the meantime, you can contact us on the telephone number below, or simply reply to this email and we will be happy to help.  

Quoting your case number:  03565568

Kind Regards,

V K.

Vauxhall Customer Care

A very well written letter saying nothing.

4 weeks so far.  It's just an exhaust.  They can't even ESTIMATE a time of arrival?

3 million Corsa Ds were made

There must be one somewhere?

Of course you can get from many parts suppliers all over the UK.  It's only the manufacturers with their just-too-late supply chains who don't have it.  I suspect it is a psychological attempt to get me to buy a new car.  But there's nothing actually wrong with my car except the exhaust has corroded on the inside from making too many short journeys which is a thing what happens.  I can get the bus and the tram and the car can sit in W J King's carpark SORN and uninsured until someone can muster up the enthusiasm to buy aftermarket or the one they've ordered but haven't made yet turns up surface mail.

The Two Astronomers

Goodevening, and in a packed program tonight I'll be sitting infront of a ground telescope photo of the Eagle Nebula - a diffuse emission nebula, or H II region, which is catalogued as IC 4703 discovered by Jean-Philippe de Cheseaux in 1745–46.  

And later on tonight light will be taking 7500 years to show us the remnants of an explosion that happened 1 to 2 million years ago, won't it, Ronnie?

Yes, indeed it will.  The titles will often involve some kind stars or are they just the studio lights through a starburst filter as well?

Yes, but unfortunately we can't tell you if it's because we were into stars of sci-fi or just a designer came up with it with little to no thought at all because most of us have passed on now to revert back to atoms that make up the Universe.  

What we can can tell you is that the cluster associated with the Eagle nebula has approximately 8100 stars which are mostly concentrated in a gap in the molecular cloud to the north-west of the Pillar... 

And now a sketch in which Mr Ronnie Corbett plays Seyfert's Sextet and I play Serpens Caput...

 

J D Vance & the nuclear suicide vest

Someone asked on X recently if any nuclear physicists knew if the Iranian nuclear suicide vest fears J D Vance was stoking recently were plausible.  As a physicist I said I think the short answer is no.  To the left is a Mk4 Trident reentry vehicle.  It is 130 cm long and 40 cm in diameter.  The dimensions of the W76 thermonuclear warhead inside are a state secret but it might be possible to get a bomb into a suitcase or a backpack.  A vest is pushing it ...

Somebody then chimed in that the Americans had built portable bombs in the 1950s and in a then secret program in the 60s trained a group of suicide cannon fodder called the Green Light Teams to parachute behind enemy lines and plant them...  The program ran from the mid 60s to the mid 80s.  Obviously the chances of these people making a fast getaway after they'd planted their "tactical nukes" were about as slim as Kamikaze pilot surviving by bailing out and the soldiers trained said the plan was very much ...if you can't take the heat stay out of the detonation zone.  Or perhaps find a fridge to hide in.  Incidentally I quite liked the nuke the fridge scene in Indiana Jones and didn't see why people got upset by it.  Apart from the way the fridge is thrown about it's quite plausible.  But then I've only got two degrees.  Some people with three beg to differ.

The Green Light Teams didn't really work very well though as although they could make the nuclear warheads physically smaller than Little Boy and Fat Man by the 1950s, they were still left with the problem that Uranium and Plutonium are amongst the heaviest elements.  After all, it's because their nuclei are so large that they are unstable enough to be capable of fission.  Even the smallest weapon weighed 56 lbs.  I'm not sure what would motivate the Green Light Teams to go on such a mission? A blue light card? I was reminded of the US Air force personnel who said they'd been scrambled to fly their planes directly into United Airlines Flight 93 on 9/11 to stop terrorists crashing it into a building and were somewhat relieved but also disappointed when the plane crashed before they could crash into it due to a fight between terrorists and passengers in the cockpit.

I used to kind of accept nuclear weapons and think CND we're a bit naive but I've changed my mind recently.  They are weapons of mass destruction and should be outlawed like poison gas.  Their use as a "deterrent" doesn't seem very plausible in the wake of the number of wars going on anyway.  Israel has had a nuclear weapon for ages but it hasn't deterred anyone from attacking it.  And what is the need for such untargeted weapons when the surveillance and missile technology now exists to assassinate people at long distance on the implausible grounds that they might in the future develop a nuclear bomb to plant on an ICBM that they haven't got yet ...which is how we end up with nonsense like "suicide vests"... There's a reason no one's used them since the end of WWII... They are so deadly both due to the initial blast and the long term radiation consequences that Indiana Jones was mysteriously immune from that domestic let alone international opinion would be deadly to any country that used them.... Assuming there'd be anyone left afterwards... Still, it's not like WWIII already started... so what's the worst that could happen?

Probably the smallest "tactical nuclear weapon" the US came up with was the Davy Crockett.  It was retired because it was thought it might by definition start a nuclear war...

Don't mention the Moors

Basil: Dont mention the Moors.  I mentioned them once but I think I got away with it.  Caesar Saladin, Qur'an Cocktail, Suet al-Tawbah and of course fillet of Infidel.  I mean, how can you be friendly to a religion that wants to behead everyone who isn't a Muslim.  Is this what we fought eight crusades for, Major?

Major Gowen: Dashed if I know, Fawlty.  Awfully good spin bowlers though some of those Muslims...

Sybil: Basil! As you well know like the whole of Surat al-Tawbah, the verse must be understood in the context in which it was revealed to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and his companions, and the passage must be read in a connected way, so it is clear to whom the verses are referring. This instruction was revealed to bring an end to a long struggle with the Makkan idolaters who had driven the Muslims out, and various battles which ensued over the following decade.

Basil: Oh, I'm wrong am I, my little Scheherazade?  I do apologise ladies and gentlemen.  There has been a gigantic cock up.  My wife Scheherazade ... Sorry Sibil is right and I am completely wrong about everything.  There have been a lot of cockups tonight and I'm glad to say that you all deserve an explanation and Manuel will give it to you.

Manuel : I know nothing.  I am from Barcelona like Mustafa and Elidenda ...

Ode to NCP

So farewell then to NCP

Your prices went up assiduously 

So everybody stayed away

The Whitgift Centre died each day

A little more, a little more

As rubbish built up on the floor

Your lifts began to smell of pee

And only worked irregularly

Your staff were replaced by ANR

Prices just went up some more

The punters left for Purley Way

Where it's free to park all day

The shops you served went belly up

Staircases often smelled of crap

Ratcheting prices higher and higher 

You milked your cash cows drier and drier

The shops you served all boarded up

Slowly you too went belly up

Sainsbury's shut and Superdry

Continental Cafe said goodbye

Poundland also shut its doors

Florists, Currys and Jewelers 

All buggered off to pastures new

Leaving nobody but you

Footfall became miniscule 

And no one would be such a fool

As to visit the Whitgift Centre 

You bled it dry till no one went there

Donald Trump cuts his Nose off to spite his Face.

Donald Trump today announced his new strategy for victory in the Iran War: "I'll be cutting my nose off to spite my face," he said.  "Why do we need a nose anyway?  It just gets in the way.  I've never seen the point of noses.  That's why I've decided to have mine removed.  Wake up and don't smell the roses or noses everybody.  A rhinotomy is the last thing the Iranian National Guard will be expecting.  I'd like to see the look on their faces when they see the look on my face.  I'll be having my dog's nose amputated too.  People will say "How does it smell?".  And I'll say "I don't know because I no longer have a nose either".  And that'll sure confuse the Ayatollah.  I won't be having plastic surgery either.  I'm just going to have a bleeding red patch in the middle of my face.  I'll be a literal bogeyman.  I'm going for a Skull and Crossbones thing like the SS did.  I think I may get JD to cut his nose off too.  "JD," I'll say, "your nose is always brown anyway... Why don't we save time and money by just cutting it off and shoving it between my beautiful buttocks.  Then you can have your nose up my arse permanently and look like me.  That said I've had some serious talks with the Iranians and they say I shouldn't cut my nose off because I have a lovely nose.  I know they say that I haven't spoken to them at all but that's because they want me to have my rhinotomy whether it's good for Making America Great Again or not.  Whatever.  I'll be putting Mucus First.  And Israel.  Even if it means a rhinotomy.  Thank you for your attention to this mucus membrane matter."

Doctor Who?

Googling to see how the Kurdistan Regional Government in Iraq is reacting to the Iran war, I came along the old news that my "flamboyant" ex-employer, the former Minister of the Natural Resources Ashti Hawrami passed away on Sunday October 20th, 2024. The Prime Minister of the Kurdistan Region Government, Masrour Barzani extended his condolence to Hawrami’s family.  Well, I say Ashti Hawrami... but actually his real name it turned out in his obituary was Abdullah Abdulrahman Tawelayi, although Wikipedia has him down as Abdullah Abdulrahman Abdullah.  When I knew him he went under the name of Dr Ashti Abdullah and drove around Henley-on-Thames in a Rolls Royce with a personalised numberplate that was suggestive of this alias... I wonder if when he gets to Jannah if they'll even know who he really was to decide whether they can let him in...

Ashti was very much involved in the 2003 invasion of Iraq and the removal of Saddam Hussein.  I don't know what deal he cut with the CIA but shortly after he bought the company I worked for and integrated it into Exploration Consultants Limited, he rang me up personally and told me that I needed to go to Henley immediately to see him to organise digitising the data from the huge Rumalia & Kirkuk fields.  As I was gigging that night I told him I couldn't get there as I had another job.  He became quite irate so I said "Well, we all have to learn to live with disappointment".  He then rang up the MD and tried to sack me but had to relent when he realised there wasn't anyone else who could immediately solve his problems.  Very soon the whole of the consultancy was transformed into an Iraqi oil digitising factory with me taking highly qualified geologists off analysis work to put them onto tedious data capture.  We could not send the data out because of political sensitivities and it was difficult to use auto tracing technology due to the poor quality of much of the archive data so eventually I got RSI and ended up having to have physiotherapy which Ashti had to pay for... Data capture jobs are very expensive and this one cost a bomb but whoever was paying there was no shortage of money.  Anyway, it was so successful that Dr Ashti immediately became the KRG's Minister for Natural Resources and sold us on to yet another consultancy which I left 10 years later.  I think two decades is a long enough time to wait before ...

Ashti and his merry band of mainly men were quite happy for the first few months after the war but later when "the helicopter gunships came in" things turned a bit sour.  At least for everyone else.  Dr Ashti continued his flamboyant lifestyle only mainly in Iraqi Kurdistan instead of Henley-on-Thames.  It is said that for evil to triumph all that is required is for good men to do nothing.  So I did nothing except send MI6 a postcard along the lines of "Good luck with that one".  Dr Ashti was renouned for his talents in driving a hard bargain.  For example, there was a story (which may be apocryphal but the dead can't sue) that he offered to pay £1m for our consultancy but after he'd signed the sales documents the seller found that the currency had been changed to dollars...

After this, Dr Ashti wandered into my life occasionally at strange irregular intervals as a source of constant amusing anecdotes.  Sometimes popping up at conferences where he often looked as if he'd bought something else that disagreed with him and sometimes on Panorama- Iraq's Missing Billions attempting to flirt his way out of difficult conversations with Jane Corbin.  Dr Ashti made a lot of money for the KRG flogging oil and gas licences for the huge Kirkuk & Rumalia fields.  The only problem was that the KRG wasn't a recognised country by the United Nations so there were questions about whether this was legal.  The central Iraqi government however seemed to suck it up.  Perhaps like many other people who dealt with Dr Ashti they shook hands but didn't count their fingers afterwards.  Dr Ashti certainly made a lot of oil money for the KRG but judging by the number of Kurdish people who come over to Dover in inflatable boats and end up on documentaries on my telly professing the quaint belief that we are still a first world country ...there may not have been a lot of trickle down.  If the aim of the Iraq invasion was democracy one must necessarily ask why the man with no name lasted as a government Minister in the KRG for 19 years seemingly encountering no major change of administration...

As well as overhauling the KRG's oil and gas industry Dr Ashti also set about overhauling his private life, finding himself a wife 45 years his junior.  Chraxan Rafiq and he soon fell out however perhaps because she was arrested for passing blank cheques or perhaps because she claimed that “Nechirvan Barzani threatened me to kill me if I do not divorce Ashti Hawrami”.  The powerful Barzani family had the hump with Ashti... Since the 2003 war KRG has had several Prime Ministers or are they Presidents? I lose track ... Masoud Barzani, Nechirvan Barzani and Icantrememberhisnamebutitsalsoprobably Barzani whose literal relation to each other may explain Iraq's drop on the Economist Democracy Index from 4.01 in 2006 to 2.28 today... Suggesting there might have been a tiny flaw in George W Bush's plan to introduce democracy at the point of a gun...

A cloud of amusing if-you're-at-a-distance corruption allegations seemed to follow Dr Ashti everywhere like the cloud of dust that used to follow Pigpen in Peanuts.  Most of them linked to the oil company Gulf Keystone as can be found in this article ... Dr Ashti was not happy and immediately instructed Carter Ruck to institute libel proceedings.  The authors claimed Qualified Privilege on the basis that most of the article was based on evidence from other court cases.  The judge rejected this and they fell back on public interest defences but by this point Dr Ashti had sadly popped his clogs... Hopefully he will find peace in Jannah if anyone there can penetrate any of his many aliases deeply enough to discover who he actually ever was?

Guest post by the POTUS

 

Why didn't we tell our Japanese allies about our decision to attack Iran?  Well, did they tell us about Pearl Harbour?  No.  They like surprises ... By a lot.  I model myself on General Tojo ... By a lot.  You gotta have the element of surprise.  We went in and hit them hard.  Like an air raid.  Japan killed 2,403 Americans and left 1,178 others wounded all on one day.  We hope to improve on that.  We're also retraining our pilots in the Japanese art of Kamikaze.  I've been practicing this myself recently.  Some people said I shat myself publicly in front of the world's press.  Actually it was divine wind.  Some people say we are losing control of the Straight of Hormuz but I reply that in our present situation, I firmly believe that the only way to swing the war in our favor is to resort to crash-dive attacks with our aircraft. There is no other way. There will be more than enough volunteers for this chance to save our country, and I would like to command such an operation. If Congress provide me with $300bn I will turn the tide of war.  Can't say fairer than that.  

Pete Hegseth has promised to train our young people to fly out new Cherry Blossom flying bombs personally. As I say to my son Barin, when you eliminate all thoughts about life and death, you will be able to totally disregard your earthly life. This will also enable you to concentrate your attention on eradicating the enemy with unwavering determination, meanwhile reinforcing your excellence in flight skills.  But obviously he can't pilot a flying bomb due to bone spurs - a very cruel hereditary condition.  It's a real shame. I'm sure there's nothing he would like more than to die for his Emperor father.  Then again some people say he looks like Dracula, so maybe he already is dead.  Sometimes I think I am too.  People say I'm dead behind the eyes every day.  I take it as a compliment by a lot.  I'm only sorry that our NATO partners won't be joining the fight.  It's very sad how our allies aren't rallying round us in the same way Germany & Italy honoured their Tripartite agreement in 1942...  The Japanese PM say Baron looks like me and is very handsome.  That's what I like about Japanese.  They know how to kiss bottom.

There was a young lady from Croydon

There was a young lady from Croydon

Who sat on an articulation

As it rounded Reeves Corner

The tram pinched her posterior 

Till her arse became an accordion

Free seeds for bees with 38 Degrees

Spring has come, with all its gentle showers - 38 degrees thinks it is time to buy the bees some flowers...

Dear Anthony,

The future of Britain’s bees hangs in the balance. Over the last few decades, we’ve lost 97% of our wildflower meadows. Our bees' food supply is starting to run out. And if they’ve got less food, there’ll be fewer bees to pollinate our crops - which means we’ll have less food too. 

But that's where you come in, Anthony. Evidence shows that planting bee-friendly flowers in our gardens could be the key to saving our bees. [3] And if tens of thousands of us come together, we could plant enough flowers to make sure that our bees have the food that they need to thrive this spring.

So Anthony, will you sign up now to get your very own packet of seeds to plant this spring - and chip in for others to get a packet too if you can? Seeds will be limited to one packet per person, to make sure that as many people as possible can take part.

SIGN UP FOR FREE SEEDS

Don’t want to plant seeds yourself? Why not chip in to pay for someone else's packet so we can send out even more seeds to help our bees?

It doesn’t matter whether you’ve got a large garden or a plant pot on a windowsill - anyone can plant some seeds to help our bees!

Last year we sent 60,000 packets out to 38 Degrees supporters - that’s people like you Anthony - so they could plant seeds to help protect our bees. And this year we want to do the same and fill our gardens with flower food to help our buzzy friends.

So Anthony, will you give our bees a helping hand? The seeds will need to be planted in the next few weeks, so the more of us who sign up now, the more flowers there’ll be for our bees!

Or if you can’t plant some seeds yourself, will you chip in so we can send some seeds to someone who can?

Thank you for everything you do,

Alicia, Megan, Foyez and the 38 Degrees team

Backwards Innovations

What absolute ninconpoop decided steering wheels should no longer be round? If I wanted to drive a car with a square wheel I'd have rung up Hengist Pod...

Having to drive a hire car because mine is at the garage waiting for Vauxhall to order parts whose ETA is "when the cows come home" I have been really struggling with this new concept.  Sort of like driving a WWII spitfire.  The fun of sliding the wheel through your fingers just doesn't happen...

Now call me Jeremy Clarkson but wasn't the "Quartic Wheel" a failed 1973 British Leyland experiment that went down like HMS Hood with the consumer?  So what wally decided to bring it back?  Apparently the idea is to make the instrument panel easier to see?  Really who looks at that?  My plug in satnav tells me what speed I'm going and us still better than the onboard one which wouldn't allow me to program it (without an exorbitant subscription)...

On the Ford I drove it was all pointless touchscreens and LCD panels ...why?  How inconvenient is it to have to use a touchscreen to change the canon fan speed, rather than just turning dials and pulling levers?  

Top of the list of backwards innovations was not having an ignition key so you start the car with a button and have to remember to turn it off and if you don't it flattens the battery.  I was thinking at 72,000 miles it was time to say goodbye to my Corsa D but this experience of backwards innovation has determined me to stick it out and wait for the parts to come by surface mail and continue to make-do-and-mend...

And people wonder why British Manufacturing is dying....