Why does only political criticism work

 

Wondering over the internet the other day I found this article (one of many on the subject) by one of those millennials who having watched the first episode of Only Fools and Horses noticed there was some racism in it so she didn’t laugh.

In particular there’s a joke where Granddad keeps calling Sidney Poitier “Sidney Potter” when actually he’s watching a film with Harry Belafonte on one of his two tellys.  She incorrectly says the joke is Granddad mispronouncing the name … but really the joke was that Sidney Poitier was at the time about the only black actor allowed on the silver screen and even then Granddad has managed to anglify his surname.   

Is it a racist joke?   

Well, strictly speaking yes it is ...but it’s just a reflection of the time.  Alternative Comedy was embryonic at this time.  You had to be there to know what the world was like then…

“Make all the excuses you want, but three white men saying such things is completely uncomfortable and unnecessary.”

Perhaps, but on the other hand maybe you were born yesterday and maybe if you spent some money on some modern comedy or reviewed something that wasn't 40 years old or indeed, spent some money watching the later series which aren’t available on Netflix because the rights are more expensive you’d get a better overview of why this program became such a slow burning hit…  Netflix has some great stuff but ...

We've got some
half price old tripe
yes miles and miles of old titles
TV
Time freezed
Ancient documentaries
Star Treks
Poldarks
Costume Dramas
Fawlty Towers
And The Crown
And sexist 40 year-old jokes
From a mush in Shepherds Bush
Bush Bush Bush Bush Bush Bush Bush...

No PC then upon TV
No alternative comedy
Black or white, rich or poor
It was this or the testcard or...

Would a sit-com be allowed to be made like this today…?  Well, no it’s 1981.  For a start a program where all three main characters are male and the there are no female recurring characters for 5 years (excepting Marlene) probably wouldn’t be allowed today.  Then again having had my memory piqued I took another look back in time and watching the first three episodes again I had forgotten how much Del and Rodney talk about their mother – to the level that she’s almost an unseen character.  There’s hardly an episode in which this 17 year old bereavement isn't mentioned.  Indeed the very unpolitcally correctly named episode "Yellow Peril" in which Del paints a Chinese restaurant in luminous British Rail paint starts with the brothers on their annual pilgrimage to their sainted mother's grave. 

The author of the critical article also references Del saying “Chinese Japanese All the Same to me”.  Well, yes, but then that was a genuine playground rhyme of the time – usually performed while pulling the corners of the eyes into slanty positions… Not that this was a good thing but it was how things were.

A possibly redeeming quality is that Del’s prejudices often generate his own comeuppance.  I’m thinking particularly of the episode “Cash and Curry” where Del is conned out of £2000 by some Indian crooks who spin him an elaborate yarn about not being about to talk to each other due to the caste system and pretend they need them as a go-between.  When they abscond with the money and Del returns to the restaurant he thinks they owned he simply won’t believe that they weren’t the real owners.  When he asks the real owner if he remembers them visiting the restaurant before the owner replies “Sorry, but you all look the same to me.”

The other defence one can make is that at the time TV was ephemeral.  The technology didn’t exist to repeat things endlessly.  One time the BBC newsreaders went on strike and they repeated “Cash an Curry” to prevent having to put the testcard up.  I was so happy… it was the only way you got to see things like this again.  The sequence where David Jason falls down the steps and throws the statue in the air by accident, rolls over several times and still manages to catch it is a brilliant bit of slapstick made even funnier by the audience knowing the importance of the MacGuffin to the plot.

I’m not a huge OFAH fan but I think my favourite early episode is “The Russians Are Coming" where Del and Rodney lay their hands on a second hand nuclear shelter and decide to try seeing what it would be like to sit out the nuclear holocaust that the world could have ended in.  The bit where Lennard Pearce does his searing anti-war speech

“My brother George was at Passchendale. Nigh on half a million Allied troops died there, all for five miles of mud! I was at King’s Cross station when his regiment came home after the armistice. Most of them was carried off the train. I saw men with limbs missing, blind men – men who couldn’t breathe properly ‘cos their lungs had been shot to bits by mustard gas! While the nation celebrated they was hidden away in big grey buildings, far from the public gaze. I mean, courage like that could put you right off your victory dinner couldn’t it?  They promised us homes fit for heroes, they give us heroes fit for homes!”

This crude hatchet job is either lazy journalism or maybe the writer whose biography seems to involve a lot of education and internships just can’t relate to a time when people like Del and Rodney left school and went straight out to work.  Except, of course, there were 3 million unemployed so instead…

A small historical footnote.  The writer praises the theme tune.  Actually the original theme tune of Only Fools and horses was this dirge…

 

…it was retroactively changed at the insistence of John Sullivan.  Not everything starts brilliantly.  Failure is an important part of comedy.  Comedy needs to fail to evolve.  Of course, sometimes it just fails and, erm, fails but …

Next week the racist sight jokes in Harold Lloyd's Safety Last (I count at least 3)

Whitgift Centre Continues to Deteriorate

Visited the Whitgift Centre today.  Grimmer that ever.  NCP have junked all their ticket machies in the Allders-before-it-went-bust car park and replaced them with one touch screen payment point fed data by numberplate cameras...

.... that doesn't work.  Much to the chagrin of a bald man who looked remarkably like ex Croydon Council Leader-Before-It-Went-Bust Tony Newman.

Driving up and down the multistorey is made difficult both by the number of people stopped by this one machine because the lifts don't work.... 

Because of course NCP have money to put in new machines and barriers so they can keep to 2 rather than 4 numberplate readers to save pennies on man hours of labour but no £s to fix the lifts...

Having overcome these obstacles to arriving at the dilapidated destination one enters by sandbagged doors that look like there is a World War on...

Grim. On top of that all the stairs are clogged by people sitting on them and in some cases nursing babies because all the benches have been taken out as Covid risks.... 

It's a no from the Consumer Council for Water...

Good Afternoon Mr Miller,

I hope this email finds you well. I am sorry for the delay with responding unfortunately I have been in and out of work due to unforeseen circumstances.

I have noticed that Thames Water responded to you complaint on 17.11.20 and confirmed their final position.

As we discussed over the telephone, CCW could most definitely challenge Thames Water regarding their customer charter and CGS payments to ensure that if any payments are due they be applied to the relevant accounts. CCW escalated your complaint in which Thames Water had been asked to complete a full review.

Thames Water relevant departments have reviewed this matter thoroughly to ensure that they have followed their company’s policies and procedures correctly.

Thames Water have advised that CGS is not due in this instance and no payments will be made for the flooding of the communal area.

I know this response will be disappointing although please rest assured I have challenged Thames Water where possible.

Next steps

However, if you are not happy with the resolution to your case, you may wish to take your case to the Water Redress Scheme (WATRS). You have up to six months from the date of this letter to submit a signed application to the scheme.

WATRS is a free and independent dispute resolution scheme that customers can use to obtain a final decision in a dispute with a water or sewerage company if they are not satisfied after CCW’s involvement. WATRS aims to make a decision about a case within 25 working days of an application being accepted. If you choose to accept its decision this will be binding on Thames Water.

For more information, please see WATRS' factsheet, here: https://www.ccwater.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Watrs-factsheet-for-household-customers.pdf

You can apply directly to WATRS, using the application form on its website or if you would like I can start the process for you. If you would like me to do this please let me know within the next month.

Your CCW file will now be closed.

If you would like to discuss this further or you believe that Thames Water have not addressed your complaint fully, please feel free to come back to CCW and we can see if we can be of further assistance.

Kind Regards

Lindsey Williams

Senior Customer Caseworker
CCW
Tel : 02920 443807
C/o Victoria Square House, Victoria Square, Birmingham, B2 4AJ
Visit our website: www.ccwater.org.uk
Follow us @CCWvoice

Dear Lindsey William,

Does the Consumer Council for Water exist to perform any other function
than to accept the Final Position that Thames Water can come up with?

A position which has now changed from "you don't have to the authority to ask the question"
to "it never happened"
and "you can't prove it happened" to
"it did happen but we don't think it cost anything substantial"
Well, it cost us £500.

If Thames Water's position that the leaseholders cannot be compensated
because they own the land collectively through a Company is a valid one
does this mean that no one living in any communal property
can obtain any statutory automatic compensation from a water company
for a sewage leak? for that is the ultimate hypothesis of their Final Position?

Thank you

Anthony Miller
 

It's a no from Thames Water...

 16 November 2020

Our Case Ref: 33434370

Your Ref: SJ24310

Customer Guarantee Scheme (CGS) payment review

Dear Ms Jones

I’m writing to provide you with an update on your constituent Mr Miller’s case, following my email dated 28 October. I trust you’ll find the below information helpful.

To confirm, our Regulatory Performance Manager (RPM) has reviewed the external sewer flooding incident and confirmed the event we’ve recorded for the affected flats in Chichester Road, was 20 January 2020 and not December 2019. Our RPM has confirmed where a communal area is affected, we don’t pay CGS, as no, one person pays water charges for this area. To clarify, CGS can only be paid if there’s a Water Services Account being registered for the specified location, which in this case there isn’t.

In addition, to the above, our RPM has reviewed the photographs provided by your constituent Mr Miller, to assess whether the residents would have been eligible for a CGS payment. For us to calculate the eligibility of a CGS payment we use a scoring system, and from the photographs of the flooding, it wouldn’t have met the criteria to be eligible for an external flooding payment, even if the communal area did qualify.

I trust the above helps explains our position, and I’ve now closed the case file. However, should you have any further questions, please contact Sarah Sanders, a Senior Case Manager in our Executive Office. You can reach Sarah on 0800 0093666, our offices are open Monday to Friday, between the hours of 9am and 5pm.

Yours sincerely

Alice Keeping
Local Government Liaison – South London

Arcadia

 When I asked Sir Philip Green if he'd thought of selling his personal assets to plug the financial hole in Arcadia's pension funds he looked at me scornfully and said "Son, do I look like I just got off the boat?

In other news I recieved another boring email from the Live Comedy Association today that still has more board or bored places to fill than self publicists available to fill them.   "We've asked each candidate to submit a 1500 character statement outlining their background in the industry, relevant experience, and priorities as a Board member." Yeah, that'll weed out all the cronic bores...

Hum... I'm not saying the Pfizer vaccine is dodgy and being trialed on the most disposable members of society first but Croydon University Hospital took the first delivery today.

Also the Daily Mail are still complaining that "The Crown" Series 4 is too far from historical reality.  Let's hope Series 5 covering the 1990s isn't a similar historical car crash. 

Unemployment....

.... Is often given in percentages these days because if you show it as the number of claimants you get...

.... a graph out the 80s.

Mysteries of capitalism....

... Do dogs care about Christmas when they poo...?

And what's the point in buying Harpic for £1 when you can buy Harpic x10 for the same price?  Does anyone look at their loo and think I want to put acid that's less concentrated down? 

Can't pay ...we'll take your public services away...

 

I suppose I ought to mention that I have noticed that Croydon Council is Bankrupt and has issued a 114 notice but this is covered in the kind of forensic detail I cannot compete with over at Inside Croydon.  Strapped for cash the Council put all its money into a property company called Brick by Brick which it owns all the shares in for which it paid £100.  The company then applied for loans off the government which it became unable to pay back and is now a black hole of debt although my analysis shows that the initial £100 in cash is still with the company and therefore only £102,298,086 in liabilities needs to be found.  Some of this should be available from flogging off the many dodgy property investments such as purchasing the already bust Croydon Park Hotel and the ailing Colonnades shopping “Centre” on Purley Way.  Like a latter day USSR the Council under Leader Tony “Soprano” Newman went on a bizarre spending spree nationalising already failing businesses in an attempt to turn back the tide of capitalism King Canute style.  I’m not saying Tony doesn’t like scrutiny but he banned me from viewing his twitter account some time ago despite me having never spoken to him…

So Tony was forced to resign and the Council is now lead by Hamida Ali who has been rapidly promoted from Cabinet Member for Safer Croydon and Communities to Can Carrier in Chief.  Although the Council has “Cabinet Government” (thanks, Tony Blair) it can’t resign and force an election with the result that there’s nothing to do but play a macabre game of musical chairs while the men from the Ministry pop round to tell us that we can’t pay so they must take our public services away…

Commander of the British Empire called in to attack the Crown

 

Pompous Idiot of the week this week goes to Secretary of State for Digital, Media and Sport Oliver Dowden (Commander of the British Empire) who has sternly told Netflix that Season 4 of “The Crown” needs to come with a fiction disclaimer.

Over at the Daily Mail there is much disapprobation and a running series of articles to inform the serfs of which pieces of the narrative are True and False.   

We could, of course, analyse these one by one but the most damaging of these in the Mail’s eyes is the narrative of the series that Prince Charles carried on an affair with Camilla Parker-Bowles both before, during and after his marriage.   

Of course there is no doubt that Prince Charles and Camilla had an affair – not since Charles was forced to admit this on television.  However, the official version of events by (for want of a better phrase) “Team Charlie” has always been that this only happened after his marriage had “irretrievably broken down”.

The problem is this doesn’t match up with what Princess Diana said in her Martin Bashir interview “there were three of us in this marriage so it was a bit crowded” or what she told Andrew Morton via a third party while he was writing “Diana : her True Story”.  At the time Morton lied somewhat unconvincingly that he had based his book on what “friends” of Diana had told him.  This was a half truth.  Actually “Diana : Her True Story” was written by getting a friend to ask Diana the questions Morton wanted to ask her thereby enabling him to do a series of interviews without being corporeally conspicuous round any palaces.  The tape recordings are still extant and were used as the basis of the update 1997 tome “Diana: Her True Story in Her Own Words”.   

This tells a very different story to that of Team Charlie.  While it is clear that Prince Charles’s relationship with Camilla was on-and-off it was still very much a continuous thread that ran throughout their marriage.  Now we could enter into a philosophical and moral treaties of a When Sally Met Harry type of whether a Parker-Bowles can just be friends with a Prince Charles but it’s pretty clear to the meanest intelligence that this was a lifelong adulterous love affair – not least because… Reader, she married him.

“Controversy over invented scenes, including the false suggestion that the affair between Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles continued throughout his marriage to Diana, prompted the Princess's brother to add his voice to the calls for a disclaimer.”

Well, the best that can be said is that that there were a few windows of time when Prince Charles and Camilla weren’t carrying on.  But the thrust of the drama as presented which suggests that it was his long continuing affair with Ms P-B that was partly responsible for Princess Diana’s rampant bulimia is pretty much no more than the Princess herself repeated many times.

Of course the irony is that while The Crown racks up massive viewing figures from everyone trapped at home during the pandemic the real Royal Family are pretty much nowhere to be seen.  The Queen gave a special broadcast – as thrilling as her usual Christmas ones – from Windsor Castle earlier in the year and since then she and Prince Philip have hardly set a foot outside.  Well they went to Balmoral for the summer but … due to being very high risk they’ve been very nearly invisible.  As indeed have most of the others… so it’s harder than usual for them to set up a counter-narrative.

So we have Ministers concerned that Netflix is immune from Offcom and The Crown got government money for being cultural propaganda… etc  Funny no one complained about the other dramatisations that went before.  But then, of course, they were crap.  And, of course, Princess Charles would have a hard time with libel law as all this has all been covered in the public domain before and he’s out of time…