Important News about my conservatory....

....I live in a second floor flat

You know you've been watching too much TV during lockdown when

... you find yourself watching the earliest off-air film recording of a BBC television program captured off air in New York due to unusual atmospheric conditions.... 

H... H... H ...Hancock's half hour of COBR

Every day at 4 to 5pm we all huddle round the television to watch the latest COBR broadcast from Downing Street on the BBC about how long this is all going on for.  Matt Hancock keeps our spirits up during our endless Sunday Afternoons At Home... by promising that it will all end soon.

The COBR Press conference 

with the lad himself Matt Hancock (left)

and the PM's spokesman James Slack (right)

There's a lot of talk and slides but only one statistic that really matters - the number of new infections a day.  All other statistics are primarily driven by this number.  We are now told this curve is flattening out at last...  Maybe so... but how long now before we should see a drop?

Well, Germany went into lockdown before us and has just started to come out.  So how are we doing compared to them...?  I compared the stats...

They'd seem to suggest that we are at the top of the peek and the numbers should be coming down any day now.  If we shift the starting point of the X axis ... the picture becomes a tiny bit clearer...

...but not by much...

While there's been a rush on most of the tins in the supermarket...

... there remain some items no one's in a hurry to bulk buy...

Sunset

In case you didn't know...

Oh well Petrol's cheap...

Spend! It's an emergency!

Well that's one way to cut the number of cheese AND wine parties...

Mysteries of the modern world - was Krishnan Guru-Murthy Muckracking or did he just step in a big pile of...?

Stuck at home during the epidemic I’ve been reading the whole of the internet and watching the whole of youtube and there’s always something out there that makes you think “how did that pass me by…?” and "what the...?"

Today it’s Krishnan Guru-Murthy’s Channel 4 News interview with Robert Downey Jnr from 2015.

For those of you who this had also passed by … erm … it didn’t go well.

The whole interview is here…  Trigger warning - if you are someone who cringes easily you may want to not watch...

I know this is old news …but it was news to me … and it raises interesting questions.  Like how old does an incident have to be for it to be muckraking to bring it up… ? How personal should interviewers get…?  Which kind of interested me for unknown reasons.  Ok, I’m just rubbernecking but then the interview its self is largely Guru-Murthy rubbernecking and…

It starts with standard questions about the film and then …

Things start to go pear shaped when Krishnan asks about the parallels between Robert and Iron Man …oh dear …we’re going to get personal.

Half way in and in analysing the arc of the Avengers movies Krishnan remarks of Tony Stark … “He’s becoming a better man …in a way you are as well.”  But No, Robert hasn’t picked up on the line of questioning just yet.  Or if he has he’s playing his cards close to his chest.  Actually he looks puzzled.  

“I’d really like to ask you about a quote you gave to the New York Times,” says Krishnan and you can see Robert Downey Jnr do a double take and his face fall.  The words “I don’t want to pry …” cause Robert to look in many different directions for help.  As well they should.  He may as well have started the sentence “I’m not a gossip but…”

So anyway… Krishnan asks his question which is about how after his incarceration Robert Downey Jr (who had the world’s best documented drugs problem 20 years ago) said “You can’t go from a $2,000-a-night suite at La Mirage to a penitentiary, and really understand it, and come out a liberal.”  So what did he mean by that?”

Now to be fair to Krishnan this is a quote that Robert Downey Jr gave that has turned into a meme.  So clearly a lot of people identify with this quote.  So it’s a political question that’s reasonable to answer… so…

Robert Downey Jr gives Krishnan an answer worthy of an episode of “Yes, Minister” explaining that he said it a long time ago, he could unpick the statement for several hours and not come up with an honest answer and that he’s not really sure what a “liberal” is.  Prefacing this all with “I appreciate your point of view…“  Nice touch.

Then it gets really awkward because that completely closes down wherever Krishnan was going with this line of questioning and he’s reduced to saying the “statement really stands by its self” which is a complete contradiction of Robert Downey Jr’s point of view which is “it’s something I said that I’ve no strong opinion on.” 

Actually Robert Downey Jr has answered the question which is “Do you feel strongly about that statement?” to which he’s replied along the lines of “Not Really”.  The problem is that clearly wasn’t the answer Krishnan was expecting and he now looks like a man in a lifeboat who’s just noticed it’s sprung a leak.

Krishnan then reframes his question asking …if Robert Downey Jr doesn’t stand by the statement and now doesn’t know what a Liberal is now… does that mean that he didn’t know what a liberal was when he made the statement?  

The problem is that Robert Downey Jr has already said he doesn’t remember so then he says … “Are we promoting a movie?”

And herein is the problem …the program is called “Channel 4 News” and this is the arts section of a news program so it has journalists on it asking political questions … Should artists not be asked political questions?  Well, possibly they should?  Maybe Downey Jr doesn’t understand this… But then again Krishnan doesn’t ask junior government ministers their opinions on the Marvel Superhero Universe …so is it even sensible to try asking Iron Man about politics?  Mind you perhaps if he did ask junior government ministers about Iron Man we’d get some interesting answers…

Well… fair play to Robert Downey Jr …he still attempts to answer the question coming up with another answer worthy of “Yes, Minister” where he says that he’s not “back-peddling on anything I’ve said” but that he wouldn’t describe himself as “a Republican, a Liberal or a Democrat”.  Yep it’s Marvel Superhero Question Time…

Yet even at this point the interview’s still not a car crash yet until Krishnan says that yes, he agrees it is a promotional interview but they’d also like to talk about Robert Downey Jr himself… and adding he doesn’t know how comfortable Robert Downey Jr is with that.  Robert Downey Jr looks very uncomfortable but doesn’t explicitly say it …waiting for Krishnan to read his body language.  Mate he’s got more chance of reading Eteocypriot …  So Robert Downey Jr puts his body language in actual language for Krishnan “You have as much time as anyone else will.”  

Krishnan reads this as “No, I’m not comfortable at all but I’ll sit and take it” and continues… “Well, let me ask you a few more questions and you can answer them if you want to and not if you don’t want to…” which is like telegraphing ahead that he’s uncomfortable with the questions he’s going to ask so they must be pretty awful.  

Not surprisingly Robert Downey Jr looks even more uncomfortable… “Your foot’s starting to jump a little bit you’d better get to your next question,” says Robert picking up on Krishnan’s body language.

Kirshnan now frames his next question by mentioning that Robert Downey Jr had spoken in other interviews about his relationship with his father and his drinking and drugs and “all of that” …which is his way of saying “you’ve talked about this before but not with me…?” [to which the answer may be ‘because it’s 20 years ago, you twit] …and goes on “I wonder if you’re free of all of that.”  Now I think I may well be on the spectrum myself but even I realise that’s just…

“I’m sorry, what are we doing?” says Robert Downey Jr.  Fair point.

“Well, I’m just asking questions, that’s all,” says Krishnan which is up there with Guy Fawkes telling the Privy Chamber that he was “just storing some gunpowder”.

Naturally Robert Downey Jr replies “Bye” and walks out.  As he does he says something partially inaudible which sounds like “…you and I are okay …it’s just getting a little…”.  I believe what he actually said according to other soruces is “You seem okay. It's getting a bit Diane Sawyer and you're kind of a schmuck."  I’m not sure what Ms Sawyer is like as an interviewer but I believe a “schmuck” is a “foolish or contemptible person”.   Clearly Krishnan is not completely unaware that it’s a moral grey area to delve into someone’s past in this way when there’s no real public interest agenda being served but … does that make him a “schmuck” or does that make him a …?

Guru-Murthy explained to the Guardian: "I prepare for Hollywood actor interviews the same way as any other, by reading and watching what people have said before."  But that’s a bit silly – where is the public interest in Downey Jr’s long ago and much-covered-at-the-time drug shenanigans...?

Perhaps he could also have thought more about the films?  He comes over as a serious journalist who has been forced at gunpoint to talk about Marvel films.  Although he asks a few questions about the film he doesn’t really seem to have explored any meaning it might have in great depth.  Several times Robert Downey Jr has to explain to him that he’s misunderstood the plot.  

There’s a lot Krishnan just doesn’t seem to understand about the films.  I can’t claim to be a massive fan but even I know that, for example, Iron Man isn’t really “self-made” …  he’s a playboy who inherited his business off his father and invents things partially to fill a void in his life.  Actually – like Bruce Wayne – he’s pretty rubbish at running his various businesses and the heavy lifting is done by Pepper Pots.  If only Ms Paltrow ran her own real life businesses with the same level of aplomb. 

The thing that, for example, makes the Iron Man / Captain America dynamic interesting is that Captain America is the creation of Iron Man's father.  Also it’s a nice touch that Captain America is the attempt to solve the problem of war purely by biological engineering and Iron Man is the attempt to solve the problem of war by robot engineering …or something.  Any questions about the meanings you can read into the films themselves go unasked.  Instead it turns into “let’s dredge up your drug problems 20 years ago…”  

There’s a wealth of avenues to explore but Krishnan can’t change tack away from the personal because, well, … he’s researched Robert …not the film …so when Robert won’t talk about Robert he’s run out of questions.  

Which raises the question… What is the function of these interviews – is it a personal interview or is it a film review/criticism …?  Well, he’s no Barry Norman… Actually, I believe the idea is to have someone else on who is not a junior government minister …in which case it might be an idea to make them feel welcome …unless he wants to get banished to Radio 4 like Clive Anderson…?

The thing that’s interesting about watching the Bee Gees interview again is that Clive Anderson teases them quite relentlessly at the start but then they seem to all move on but clearly his insults haven’t been forgotten.  Trust has been eroded …and when he makes one more mild quip Barry Gibb decides he’s had enough and walks.  Odd really because it is a comedy show and it’s hard not to make the obvious joke about a band called …  Perhaps the key is sincerity.  They don’t seem to think that Anderson is sincerely interested in them and their music and the obvious conclusion from then on is that they’re just there to be humiliated…?  Who knows?  

But the anti-Michael Parkinson tells the Spectator he regrets the incident (or they say that’s what he says when they paraphrase him).  Of course one could make the deeper point that perhaps people talking about people and to people about people is of its nature a bit of a…

The fallout from the Robert Downey Jr.  interview is even more fun too with Robert Downey Jr.  telling Howerd Stern Krishnan is a “bottom-feeding muckraker” amongst other less pleasant things.  Downey describes Krishnan’s agenda as creepy … but one wonders if Krishnan doesn’t realise how offensive he’s being.  Obviously he does realise he’s being offensive but to what degree…?

As with the Tarantino interview ....

...(which is easier to defend in terms of journalistic ethics - I do enjoy when Mr T says this "is a commercial for my movie" completely unaware of Channel 4's public service remit or the OffCom codes on the sheduling of advertising but that's another story...) ...he doesn’t seem able to read body language very well ...or perhaps he doesn't know how to hide his own feelings to another person ...get some acting lessons mate ...? …which makes it funny when Downey Jr whose job involves reading body language reads him.  

Here's a tip from an ex debt collector... If you want to ask difficult questions that are likely to get negative feedback and which your subject may not want to answer... Ask them quickly when your subject is not expecting them and conceal your own emotions. 

Downey Jr seems to claim that it isn’t that he wouldn’t talk about any of this but it’s inappropriate for the audience … which maybe a smokescreen but he seems to be quite frank with Mr Stern … perhaps it’s a matter of trust.  Michael Parkinson could get people to say all sort of things that they probably didn’t want without…  As for the unloved viper that is Martin Bashir… let’s not go there.

Meanwhile Krishnan goes on to moan that the thing that makes him most uncomfortable about the interview is that the video is the most watched thing in his very long career where he’s “done so much more”.  Ironic really that in dredging up Downey Jr’s past that he’s always trying to escape …. he’s created his own regrettable past incident that he’s always trying to escape and people keep digging up.  Perhaps this is why someone invented GDPR…  As to my own motivation for writing this piece … 

Reader, it is muckraking…

The world may be in the grip of a horrific pandemic with untold social and political consequences but...

... members of the Labour Party on Facebook are far more concerned with launching an enquiry into some internal party messages from the 2017 election

https://actionsprout.io/089CB0

Its kind of comforting in a way that internal political infighting goes on anyway despite social isolation... but then again I'm not sure the lockdown has made these people any less self isolated than they already were...

UK rises to 3rd place in the rate of death leagues...

Nearly 3 weeks into lockdown and nearly 0.3 per cent of Croydon confirmed as infected ...I've updated my graph of Death rates of Confirmed cases divided by number of confirmed cases to see how we're doing relative to other countries...

... again I've removed any countries with less than 20,000 cases as they don't have enough throughput of data yet to give an accurate picture.  As can be seen Britain is now in 3rd place in the death leagues - pretty much level pegging with Italy on 12 per cent.  France takes the morbid top place with a shocking 15 per cent rate.

Is this all the politicians fault?  Well you would expect that it's more difficult to control the spread of the pandemic in countries with higher population densities  ... but if I change the Y Axis of the above graph to population density I get this...

...showing very little correlation.  And in case you're wondering ... if we were to divide one graph by the other in a VERY CRUDE ATTEMPT to weight the Death Rate by Population Density one gets this graph...

...which suggests things are actually worst in Canada.  Which indeed they are...

Just heard a Policeman on the BBC News strolling through a park shouting at the pubic "It's a lockdown not a holiday!"

To which the correct reply is "Actually it's both, officer."

Lisa Nandy MP - Catch 22

Saw Labour's Lisa Nandy on the BBC being interviewed about the virus today...

She's obviously gone for the spartan you're-not-judging-my-home-furnishings look.

However one book has crept into the frame... Catch 22.  Perhaps not the best choice if you want to inspire belief in any exit strategy.

So how ill is Boris...?

Well, according to the BBC he's sitting up in bed but he's now on day 12 or 13 which is the critical phase of Covid-19 infection...  For the curious the Lancet provides this flow diagram ...

...of the various possible "paths to death" (or not).  The BBC are very quick to say that he's not on ventilation but it sounds most likely he's having non-invasive ventilation via a CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure machine)...

...these are usually used for people who suffer from sleep apnea and can be nasal or full face... but he doesn't yet need mechanical ventilation ... the most extreme type of which is ECMO (ExtraCorporeal Membrane Oxygenation) which looks like this...

...in between the above and the bottom diagrams are various other types of less invasive ventilation techniques that can be deployed.  The next couple of days will be the most crucial ... he will either turn the corner naturally or end up on more invasive ventilation.

But even if Boris does not end up at this extreme end of the invasive ventilation scale... which is usually the province of premature babies and the people possibly nearing the end of their life ... the road to recovery to quote the man himself "is hard" (see the Guardian)  ... so should we perhaps be preparing for him to stand down sooner rather than later...?


Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that when the media says Boris is "receiving oxygen but
does not require ventilator" ...this is slightly deceptive language ... if you're receiving oxygen you're being ventilated by definition.  It's just not highly invasive ECMO ventilation requiring sedation.

0.2 per cent

There are 689 confirmed cases in Croydon, out of a local population of 385,346