Pope Benedict XVI cannonises the 4 Brexit Martyrs of England and Wales

Today in his Christmas message Pope Benedict XVI cannonised the 4 Brexit Martyrs of England and Wales. (There were no Brexit Martyrs in Scotland because the Tories don't win seats there).

I know some of you think that due process may not have been followed here but in the case of a martyr, a miracle is not required.

For a martyr, the Pope has only to make a declaration of martyrdom, which is a certification that the MP gave his career voluntarily as a witness of the Benn Act or in an act of pro-Europeanism for others. 

All four Brexit martyrs had been publically disemboweled at the ballot box.

Saint David Gauke

2017 Conservative Majority 19,550
leaves a flat in central London on which he claimed expenses
despite only living an hour away...

Conservative     Gagan Mohindra     30,327     49.6     -8.4
Independent     David Gauke     15,919     26.0     N/A







Saint Dominic Grieve

2017 Conservative Majority 24,543
never did resolve the "endemic" issues of voter fraud...

Conservative     Joy Morrissey     32,477     56.1     -9.1
Independent     Dominic Grieve     16,765     29.0     N/A









Saint Samuel Gyimah

2017 Conservative Majority 23,914
- Turncoat who switched to the Liberal Democrats in Kensington
where he increased the Liberal Democrat vote by 9.1 per cent
but failed to do a Winston Churchill

Labour     Emma Dent Coad     16,618    
Liberal Democrats     Sam Gyimah     9,312    





Saint Antoinette Sandbach

2017 Conservative Majority 11,942
- Turncoat who switched to the Liberal Democrats
and stood for re-election in her old seat increasing the Liberal Democrat vote 12.6 per cent
and was viciously slaughtered at the polls

Conservative     Edward Timpson     30,095     56.8    
Labour     Terry Savage     11,652        
Liberal Democrats     Antoinette Sandbach     9,582    
   



And let us not forget those that retired rather than be martyred:

Kenneth Clarke 8,010
Philip Hammond 18,050
Sir Oliver Letwin 19,091
Justine Greening 1,554
Rory Stewart 15,910
Sir Nicholas Soames: 19,673
Alistair Burt 20,862
Guto Bebb 635
Richard Benyon 24,380
Richard Harrington 2,092
Margot James 7,654
Anne Milton 17,040
Edward Vaizey: 17,380

And finally let us give up a special prayer for the falsely repentant
who have had the Whip Restored
in return for the everlasting damnation of their immortal souls...

Greg Clark 16,465 -> majority reduced to 14,645
Stephen Hammond 5,622 -> majority reduced to 628
Steve Brine 9,999 -> majority reduced to 985
Caroline Nokes 18,006 -> majority reduced to 10,872