Witenagemot of the North

Baron Burnham of the North revealed his new policy today - a relaunch of the institution of the Witenagemot.  "Before the Norman invasion in 1066," said Baron Burnham, "the government's administrative and legislative hub (then called the Witenagemot or Witan) used to move about to every corner of our great nation as an organic manifestation of devolution but after the invasion by William the Conqueror due to the foreign policy failures of King Harold power became centralised in London as the Witenagemot was replaced by the Curia Regis with a corresponding deterioration in Suffrage.  Advances in Remote Working technology such as Zoom mean we can now attempt to do this again without risking another major administrative failure such as the appointment of Æthelred the Unready as Sovereign.  With the closure and restoration of the Palace of Westminster estimated to require £40bn and take 61 years (even though it only took Pugin & Barry 30 years to build most of the current poat-1800 structures) there's never been a better time to put Parliament on the road.  We know for a fact that Granada Studios has a standing set that is an exact replica of the House of Commons which hasn't been in regular use since Alan B'Stard MP passed on.  The opportunities for Parliament to move from physical reality into a world of pure fantasy have never been greater.  I would remind the people too of the words of Mr Liebermann who said that 'No man can make himself king, but the people has the choice to choose as king whom they please; but after he is consecrated as king, he then has dominion over the people, and they cannot shake his yoke off their necks' so you try sacking me when I'm on the road.  Won't be as easy to write angry letters to your MPs when you don't know their shifting postal addresses then, will it?  So it's time for a Number 10 of the North.  Not sure which road we can put this new Number 10 in but obviously we need somewhere that the public can't have too much access to because it's sealed off behind iron gates.  I was thinking of Coronation Street which situated on the Granada backlot would be ideal for close access to their House of Commons plywood set.  This is the new future of Britain.  A Prime Minister who's harder to sack because he's constantly on the move and lives in a fantasy world with other fictional characters."