The most expensive squaddie in history...

Mr Starmer has responded to Mr Trump's fascist threat to annex Greenland by imposing Tarrifs on the UK that are likely to cost £15 billion to the UK economy, possibly making this one soldier the most expensive squaddie in history.  

Private Equity said today that he was proud to carry to the economic can for Britain.  

"In the past British soldiers had to go over the top, fight them on the beeches and the landing grounds and parachute behind enemy lines.  It's really progress that today we can just keep war economic and that to start one all a single soldier has to do is turn up.  It's a testament to how terrifying we, the British Army, are that just one of us can result in crippling economic sanctions on an entire nation.  You can hear the sound of Donald Trump soiling himself every time I don my Busby.  Indeed, I often don my red ceremonial uniform just to remind me how far in the red I've made Britain."

Me Starmer, the Prime Minister, meanwhile stated at a press conference today as The World Economically Held to Ransom Forum that "We shall fight them on the European Stoxx 50 index, we shall fight them on the FTSE 100 blue chip index.  We shall never surrender the French Cac 40 or the German Dax and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were economically subjugated and starving, then our British Overseas Territories beyond the seas like Bermuda, Gibraltar and the Falklands, armed and guarded by the International Monetary Fund would carry on the struggle, until, in God’s good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the financial foreclosure of the old."

Conspiracy Theory of the Day : Abiogenic Petroleum

 

Another day another bonkers conspiracy theory circulating the far right on X.  Today it's Abiogenic petroleum.  This is the theory that oil does not come from fossil formation but sort of bubbles up from the mantle.  It was very popular in the Soviet Union during the cold war but no one's ever been able to stand in up beyond saying that there may be a minimal effect somewhere but it doesn't make any substantial difference to the economy because each time we drain an oil or gas field it noticeably doesn't fill up again.  Neither do new fields magically pop up in unexpected places.  But it's a psychological crutch I suppose for cranks, climate deniers and other persons who have trouble dealing with the more pertinent and concrete aspects of the Universe.  

No oil or gas supply in the world has ever been conclusively proved to be Abiogenic I'm origin but since it's never possible to completely geologically survey the whole world it is, of course, impossible to prove the theory holds no truth at all but if the effect is in any way noticeable... It hasn't been noticed.

Masked Police ...

I see the vexed question of when did policemen start dressing like "Federation" extras from Blake's 7 has come up again.  I did try to find out years ago but ...

Information Compliance and Records 

Management Unit (ICRMU)

Information Management Branch 

Date: 17/05/2023

Our ref: 1788/23

 

Dear Anthony, 

FREEDOM OF INFORMATION REQUEST REFERENCE NO: GSA 1788/23 

I write in connection with your request for information dated 04/04/2023, received by Greater Manchester Police (GMP) for the following information: 

I'm watching the sentencing of Olivia's murderer on the BBC... One but not all of the policemen is wearing a balaclava. I see this more and more. Is there any reason policemen have started dressing like extras in the last episode of Blake's 7? Is it for fear of retribution? If so why only heavily armed policemen rather than ordinary ones? Is it for a practical reason ? Is he cold?

Result of Searches

Following receipt of your request searches were conducted within Greater Manchester Police (GMP) to locate the requested information and I can confirm the information requested is held by GMP. 

Any Police Officer, including Firearms Officers, can wear a mask/face covering in public to protect themselves from environmental risks such as biological, chemical or fire. 

National guidance also allows for Police Officers, including Firearms Officers, to wear a mask/face covering in public to protect the officer’s identity, this is based on threat and risk balanced against public perception.

Uniform worn by police officers, are robustly considered to provide a balance between practicality, functionality, and visual representation of the modern-day Police Service. Uniform is an integral part of a police officer’s protection against the risks posed to them while working in their role specific environments.

I often put on my snorkel parka for a criminal reason

Laila Cunningham, Reform UK's London mayor candidate stated that no one should cover their face in an open society. She added: “It has to be assumed that if you’re hiding your face, you’re hiding it for a criminal reason.”

Letter to the Editor

Dear Sir, I write most strongly to protest at the government's plans to re-enlist ex-soldiers up to the age of 65 back into the army should there be an International Crisis such an invasion of Greenland.  During the last war I was told that I was too old to fight despite being only 54.  

This was a bitter blow to my personal pride at the time but instead of drafting us into the regular army, the government set up a special unit known as the Local Defence Volunteers (later the Home Guard) specifically for gentlemen such as myself who were not quite spry enough for normal combat situations because they might need to be excused at a vital moment or had signs of early onset dementia such as continuously shouting that "they don't like it up 'em" at inappropriate moments or because they had important business activities to perform such as supplying essential supplies, managing a bank or running the local undertakers.  I would remind you that as Mr Edwin Starr said undertaking is a very important business sector during armed hostilities.  I feel very strongly that such a force if brought into being again could be far more use to His Majesty than drafting important local figures such as myself directly into the regular army particularly since I unfortunately now have considerable mobility issues which have prevented me actively participating in the renovation of Frambourne-on-Sea pier.  Indeed, I hardly get out at all since the Reverend Timothy Farthing invited me to join the invisible choir.  I hasten to add however, that I did indeed serve in the regular army during the Great War and was deployed to France in 1919.  

I've heard that modern warfare is much more about pressing buttons than physical dexterity but I can't see, for example, the King's younger brother flying a drone let alone a helicopter again given his great difficulty in seeing anything untoward going on around him.  Even if he says it is no sweat, I do not think It is a good idea.  Therefore I propose that the time has come for our Prime Minister to consider a relaunch of the Local Defence Volunteer force.

Yours sincerely,

Capt. George Mainwaring (141)

St Aldhelm's Church Cemetery 

Walmington-on-Sea 

 

When Robert Jenrick escaped across county lines

Lawmakers should not be Flyposters

Today I am most amused by Kemi sacking Robert Jenrick.  I tried to grass his for fly posting ages ago but he escaped across county lines like in a Western.  He really is one of the worst poo stirrers in the Conservatives ... Or was...

On Thu, 28 Aug 2025 at 11:01, Juliet Bravo PC2892

Juliet Bravo wrote:

Edmund,

Thank you for your Online crime report to Nottinghamshire Police re the post on Robert Jenrick of him raising a Union Jack flag.

There are no laws which say this countries flag cannot be flown. If the relevant council have an issue with where this flag was erected, this is for them to deal.

I have viewed the post and there are no criminal offences for Police to deal.

It is not flyposting as you suggest. Flyposting is pasting / sticking flyers to walls, buildings etc and you could not report this from a different county by seeing a post on Social media, the victim which would be the council for the area would have to report this. Flags cannot be flyposted and this is not illegal.

Should you have any queries, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Regards,

Juliet Bravo

Pc2892 

Nottinghamshire Police

Contact Resolution & Incident Management, Rota 4 – Force Control Room, Remote Investigations,Contact Management

Tel : 999 Emergency number / 101 Nottinghamshire Police Non Emergency number 

Sent: Me

To: Juliet Bravo 

Subject: Re: Nottinghamshire Police - b79edeb0-83ef-11f0-bec5-8188720fb729

Hello

It surely is flyposting since the position of the government is that all flags constitute advertising and the permission of the Highway Authority must be gained before hanging a flag on the road?

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/flying-flags-a-plain-english-guide/flying-flags-a-plain-english-guide

Thank you

Anthony Miller 

On Friday 29 August 2025 at 07:14:31 BST, Juliet Bravo PC2892 wrote:

Anthony,

It isn’t, I don’t know what more I can say.

As stated below, there are no criminal offences.

If the local council have an issue with it, then it for them to deal.

You , as a person living in another county also cannot report this as per crime recording rules, if there were a crime and is isn’t.

Also, as I stated it is not a criminal offence to fly flags of the UK in the UK.

I will not be answering anymore emails as I have explained now in two emails that this is not a criminal offence and there is nothing for Police to deal.

Regards,

Juliet Bravo

Pc2892 

Me to Juliet Bravo:

I'm pretty sure that if I started putting posters on lamposts I'd be prosecuted 

no matter if I used cable ties or adhesive

like the many people who own a cat called fluffy

https://pearshapedcomedy.com/hansard.html

However, I was previously unaware that one could avoid justice by simply crossing County lines like in a Western.  

Thank you for this useful information

Anthony Miller

The Lusitania Experience

From its grand construction to its tragic end, this immersive journey brings the legend to life with stunning high-tech visuals, artefacts and unforgettable AR & VR storytelling.  

Relive being hit by a torpedo on 7 May 1915 at ten past two, 11 miles off the Old Head of Kinsale. 

It may sound frightening, but remember that as my mother used to say ..."if you survive something then it's not a disaster - it's an experience".  

So imagine you were one of the 767 survivors and not one of the 1193 who perished and you'll have the time of your life experiencing other people's deaths.  After all, there's always someone worse off than yourself so cheer yourself up with some sentimental voyerism about the people who's lost lives caused Woodrow Wilson to eventually enter the First World War.  Remember yesterday's disaster is tomorrow's virtual reality experience, marketing opportunity and gift shop.

Young explorers can create their own masterpieces at drawing stations.  Imagine you are Admiral Hugo von Pohl waging a U-boat campaign and see how many passenger liners you can sink.  Practice causing havoc not just across the continent of Europe but also on the high seas in an attempt to scupper shipping.

Enjoy our U-20 experience.  It's like a U-2 concert but in a smaller space.  Then play at being  Kapitänleutnant Walther Schwieger trying to explain to Count Bernsdorff trying to explain to the Kaiser why you've just sunk what was obviously a passenger liner after telling the British Government you wouldn't stoop to that sort of thing only the other day.  Brainstorm hilarious excuses with your friends such as "we thought it was secretly carrying weapons".  And write in the margins of angry letters from Woodrow Wilson that "this is the most insolent thing in tone and bearing that I have had to read since the Japanese note last August."

Explore life aboard the Lusitania from stunning recreations of the most lavish spaces to harsh realities of below deck life. From the first-class dining room to the third class toilets.  Experience what it's like to pour salt water over furniture first hand and see what things were like for unreal using a virtual headset that you probably could have used at home for half the price because it's a lot cheaper than building physical sets.  

You'll completely forget that you're in a small warehouse on the south of the river Thames that no one knows what to do with because it stands on poisoned land occupied by an old gassworks.  Imagine seeing the Lusitania magestically floating down the Thames even though she sailed from Liverpool.  No point in mounting an experience there as they aren't silly enough or rich enough to buy our overpriced tickets.  

Remember it's a day out.  Like wandering aimlessly round a shopping centre but without having to make decisions to spend money because you already paid.

Experience the suffocation induced by the submersion of the mouth and nose in a liquid that many aboard Lusitania would have experienced by experiencing our new Waterboarding experience.  Don't be scared, it may feel like dying but all our waterboarders have been highly trained by the best at in the business at the technique at a US Army base [Note: Entry to the Lusitania Experience also includes Free Entry to the Guantanamo Bay experience].

See the many articles never recovered from the seabed because the wreck is 93m underwater and you need to use mixed gasses and the wrek is covered in depth charges, hedgehog mines, fishing nets and sediment.  No watches, no plates, no jewlery, no cups and saucers, no clothes and no souveniers.  There's literally nothing to see here!

Note : The VR experience may contain some flashes at the point where the torpedo hits the ship and during the secondary explosion in the engine room which may trigger epileptic seizures.

If Britain was invaded...

 "If Britain was invaded and, in one day, about 8,000 Brits were murdered, mutilated, raped, and kidnapped near London, what would you do?"

Same as last time.  Make a tapestry.

The two Dons

The Trump Twins today have offered to invade Greenland.  "Greenland didn't know it wants to be invaded by America but it does... By a lot.  If we don't invade then it's sure that Russia or China will invade even though they've never said they were going to.  Therefore we kindly offer to invade first to stop them being invaded.  We plan to offer lots of other countries our protection too in order to prevent them being invaded".  The two Dons say they think that International Law has had it's day and a new doctrine is needed which will be called the DonDonroe doctrine in which countries extort whatever they want from each other by offering protection services.  They say their long term plan is to replace the United Nations with a new organisation which like Your Party doesn't have a name yet, although popularly mooted names include "The Bigly Firm" or "Our Thing" which will be translated into Italian to help it appeal to people from the old country.  The Trumps say it is an offer you literally can't refuse.

Meanwhile, Don brothers' enforcer "mad" JD Vance said "the people of Greenland are going to have self-determination.  We hope that they choose to partner with the United States, because we're the only nation on Earth that will respect their sovereignty and respect their security.  We would hate for something bad to happen to Greenland and it can happen so easily.  It would be very bad if they fell into the hands of someone unscrupulous. We've put a lot of work into training our police to work in their harsh weather conditions by setting up a special unit called ICE."

The Phantom of the Trump Center

 

Sing once again with me

Our strange duet

My power over you

Grows stronger yet

And though you turn from me

To glance behind

The Phantom of the fascism is there

Inside your mind

Woodrow Wilson's 14 Points II

Wilson's 14 Points II. Absolute freedom of navigation upon the seas, outside territorial waters, alike in peace and in war, except as the seas may be closed in whole or in part by international action for the enforcement of international covenants 
 

Apparently the "Five Eyes" have already stopped sharing Carribbean intelligence with the US Government.  So we'll stuffed if Dr No starts his shenanigans again...

Isolation

 Presidential Actions

Withdrawing the United States from International Organizations, Conventions, and Treaties that Are Contrary to the Interests of the United States

Presidential Memoranda

January 7, 2026

MEMORANDUM FOR THE HEADS OF EXECUTIVE DEPARTMENTS AND AGENCIES

By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, I hereby direct:

Section 1.  Purpose.  (a)  On February 4, 2025, I issued Executive Order 14199 (Withdrawing the United States from and Ending Funding to Certain United Nations Organizations and Reviewing United States Support to All International Organizations).  That Executive Order directed the Secretary of State, in consultation with the United States Representative to the United Nations, to conduct a review of all international intergovernmental organizations of which the United States is a member and provides any type of funding or other support, and all conventions and treaties to which the United States is a party, to determine which organizations, conventions, and treaties are contrary to the interests of the United States.  The Secretary of State has reported his findings as required by Executive Order 14199.

(b)  I have considered the Secretary of State’s report and, after deliberating with my Cabinet, have determined that it is contrary to the interests of the United States to remain a member of, participate in, or otherwise provide support to the organizations listed in section 2 of this memorandum. 

(c)  Consistent with Executive Order 14199 and pursuant to the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, I hereby direct all executive departments and agencies (agencies) to take immediate steps to effectuate the withdrawal of the United States from the organizations listed in section 2 of this memorandum as soon as possible.  For United Nations entities, withdrawal means ceasing participation in or funding to those entities to the extent permitted by law.

(d)  My review of further findings of the Secretary of State remains ongoing.

Sec. 2.  Organizations from Which the United States Shall Withdraw.  (a)  Non-United Nations Organizations:

(i)       24/7 Carbon-Free Energy Compact;

(ii)      Colombo Plan Council;

(iii)     Commission for Environmental Cooperation;

(iv)      Education Cannot Wait;

(v)       European Centre of Excellence for Countering

Hybrid Threats;

(vi)      Forum of European National Highway Research Laboratories;

(vii)     Freedom Online Coalition;

(viii)    Global Community Engagement and Resilience Fund;

(ix)      Global Counterterrorism Forum;

(x)       Global Forum on Cyber Expertise;

(xi)      Global Forum on Migration and Development;

(xii)     Inter-American Institute for Global Change Research;

(xiii)    Intergovernmental Forum on Mining, Minerals, Metals, and Sustainable Development;

(xiv)     Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change;

(xv)      Intergovernmental Science-Policy Platform on Biodiversity and Ecosystem Services;

(xvi)     International Centre for the Study of the Preservation and Restoration of Cultural Property;

(xvii)    International Cotton Advisory Committee;

(xviii)   International Development Law Organization;

(xix)     International Energy Forum;

(xx)      International Federation of Arts Councils and Culture Agencies;

(xxi)     International Institute for Democracy and Electoral Assistance;

(xxii)    International Institute for Justice and the Rule of Law;

(xxiii)   International Lead and Zinc Study Group;

(xxiv)    International Renewable Energy Agency;

(xxv)     International Solar Alliance;

(xxvi)    International Tropical Timber Organization;

(xxvii)   International Union for Conservation of Nature;

(xxviii)  Pan American Institute of Geography and History;

(xxix)    Partnership for Atlantic Cooperation;

(xxx)     Regional Cooperation Agreement on Combatting Piracy and Armed Robbery against Ships in Asia;

(xxxi)    Regional Cooperation Council;

(xxxii)   Renewable Energy Policy Network for the 21st Century;

(xxxiii)  Science and Technology Center in Ukraine;

(xxxiv)   Secretariat of the Pacific Regional Environment Programme; and

(xxxv)    Venice Commission of the Council of Europe.

(b)  United Nations (UN) Organizations:

(i)       Department of Economic and Social Affairs;

(ii)      UN Economic and Social Council (ECOSOC) — Economic Commission for Africa;

(iii)     ECOSOC — Economic Commission for Latin America and the Caribbean;

(iv)      ECOSOC — Economic and Social Commission for Asia and the Pacific;

(v)       ECOSOC — Economic and Social Commission for Western Asia;

(vi)      International Law Commission;

(vii)     International Residual Mechanism for Criminal Tribunals;

(viii)    International Trade Centre;

(ix)      Office of the Special Adviser on Africa;

(x)       Office of the Special Representative of the Secretary General for Children in Armed Conflict;

(xi)      Office of the Special Representative of the Secretary-General on Sexual Violence in Conflict;

(xii)     Office of the Special Representative of the Secretary-General on Violence Against Children;

(xiii)    Peacebuilding Commission;

(xiv)     Peacebuilding Fund;

(xv)      Permanent Forum on People of African Descent;

(xvi)     UN Alliance of Civilizations;

(xvii)    UN Collaborative Programme on Reducing Emissions from Deforestation and Forest Degradation in Developing Countries;

(xviii)   UN Conference on Trade and Development;

(xix)     UN Democracy Fund;

(xx)      UN Energy;

(xxi)     UN Entity for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women;

(xxii)    UN Framework Convention on Climate Change;

(xxiii)   UN Human Settlements Programme;

(xxiv)    UN Institute for Training and Research;

(xxv)     UN Oceans;

(xxvi)    UN Population Fund;

(xxvii)   UN Register of Conventional Arms;

(xxviii)  UN System Chief Executives Board for Coordination;

(xxix)    UN System Staff College;

(xxx)     UN Water; and

(xxxi)    UN University.

Has anyone tried just not coming up with shit policies that everyone hates in the first place?

 

Think you voted the Tories out?

Dear Anthony,

Thank you for contacting me about legislative changes on cumulative disruption in the Crime and Policing Bill.

I fully and unequivocally support the right to peaceful protest, including on issues in the Middle East. However, I am afraid that in recent times we have seen repeated protests which have left people feeling unsafe, intimidated and scared to leave their homes.

It is right that the impact of the cumulative disruption caused by protests is considered by the authorities. However, it is important that we get the measure right, which is why Conservative Lords have put forward an amendment to replace the reference to a geographical area in the definition of relevant cumulative disruption with that of a subject area. This is to ensure that the police consider the context of the content of the protest or assembly when deciding whether to impose conditions on it, as opposed to solely considering the location. 

Ultimately, I believe it is appropriate to give authorities greater discretion and foresight in managing public order, ensuring that overlapping events are appropriately regulated to minimise community impact.

Thank you again for taking the time to contact me.

 

Kind regards,

Chris

..

Chris Philp MP

Rt Hon Member of  Parliament for Croydon South

Come back Mr Chamberlain, all is forgiven

This morning the British Ambassador in Berlin handed the German Government a final Note stating that, unless we heard from them by 11 o'clock that they were prepared at once to withdraw their troops from Poland, we would expect to be fully appraised of the reasons for this fast moving and developing situation.

I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently this country is upholding International Law by saying that we don't know because we're not experts.

You can imagine what a bitter blow it is to me that all my long struggle to win peace has had to be reframed more ambiguously. Yet I cannot believe that there is anything more or anything different that I could have done and that would have been more successful than continuing to invite Herr Hitler on lavish state visits.

Up to the very last it would have been quite possible to have arranged a peaceful and honourable settlement between Germany and Poland, but I can't say more than that.

The proposals were never shown to the Poles, nor to us, and, although they were announced in a German broadcast on Thursday night, Hitler did not wait to hear comments on them so we did not offer any. His action shows convincingly that there is no chance of expecting that this man will ever give up his practice of using force to gain his will. If only we could think of some way to stop him but there is none so we will just suck it up.  We have a clear conscience. We have done all that any country could do to establish peace. The situation in which no word given by Germany's ruler could be trusted and no people or country could feel themselves safe has become par for the course. 

And now that we have resolved to do nothing, I know that you will all play your part with calmness and courage in also doing nothing at all.

He's not in Venezuela

 

Well, no one's going to exactly miss Maudro and his regime but the casus belli of Trump's new war - narco terrorism? - is flimsier than a piece of Andrex.  It's interesting that he says the US is now going to run Venezuela as going to war used to be a decision that could only be made by Congress.  Also regime change is an illegal war aim... Keir Starmer is slithering round as usual trying to avoid saying that the US attack on Venezuela is anything other than a flagrant breach of international law.  I mean, who ever heard of narco-terrorism?  Well, actually it seems the term was coined by United States Attorney General William Barr who accused Maudro of it... Although what it consists of I'm not sure? Nose powder of mass destruction?  Surely hardly an issue going to war over?  Previous the US Justice Department put a huge bounty on Maduro leading to people teasing them that "I think he's in Venezuela".  Well, he's not any longer...

I wonder what the MAGA base will make of their new illegal war and colony?  This has been on the horizon for a long time with the US making gruesome unprovoked attacks on shipping.  I guess with Canada and Greenland not turning out to be pushovers, Trump went for the weediest child with the least friends in the class...

I see the usual US apologists are abroad telling us International Law never really existed despite the fact modern international law is a US invention born out of Woodrow Wilson's 14 points.  And they certainly made a big song and dance about it in 1945...

Keir Starmer of course has the spine of a jellyfish 🪼 and is all "we need to see all the facts".  And of course there's the classic "it's not for me as a political to interpret International Law".  Top tip: that's what you have an Attorney General for.

In case anyone's still in doubt that it's all about oil, Mr Eyeshadow spells it out for you...

The president offered multiple off ramps, but was very clear throughout this process: the drug trafficking must stop, and the stolen oil must be returned to the United States. Maduro is the newest person to find out that President Trump means what he says.

Kudos to our brave… pic.twitter.com/b1fqkdbB4x

— JD Vance (@JDVance) January 3, 2026