Monday, 23 March 2020

Only 1 more today

There are 85 confirmed cases in Croydon, out of a local population of 385,346

Boris has told everyone to stay home.  It's very quiet in Sainsbury and the shelves are starting to fill again.

No Thanks


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Dear Faceless Spambot who is so dull they don't even sign their own letters,

I am not lonely and due to the Corona Virus I do not think planning a meeting of any kind would be a good idea at present even if I had the motivation which I do not.

Yours sincerely

Anthony Miller

PS Please tell my secret admirer to stop stalking me.

Sunday, 22 March 2020

This is awful I can't pretend to be out

There are 84 confirmed cases in Croydon, out of a local population of 385,346...

(yesterday I said there were 86 but this was a typo - there were only 81)

...and I've realised the most awful thing about this virus ... it means when relatives ring up I'm always in.

I can't just ignore the phone and pretend that actually I was out ...even if I wasn't.  Worse because everyone else is stuck at home they've got nothing else to do but ring me up in the evening.  Worse than this I've got nothing to tell them either since I am at the moment basically paid by the state to do nothing and I can't go out and do anything because I'm not allowed to go anywhere.

Well, I could go to Wetherspoons as the nasty piece of work who runs it says he won't close any branches.  All those years when I was worried that if there was any trouble at the club then it'd endanger the pub's licence...... All the pubs who've been shut over the slightest fisticuffs off premesis.. like the original XS Malarkey...

Now the tight pillock from Wetherspoons says he's going to incubate a deadly virus in his venues and licencing Committees aren't closing every single one...?

There's only one thing worse than Wetherspoons and that's germ warfare...

On the plus side the curve may be flattening... Only 3 more cases since yesterday.

Saturday, 21 March 2020

81 today

There are 81 confirmed cases in Croydon, out of a local population of 385,346

I seem to have no customers anymore and bizarrely be paid by the government just to exist.

It's all going mad in the supermarkets.

Other than that there is a dismal solitude in London streets.

Friday, 20 March 2020

Recursion



There are 68 confirmed cases in Croydon, out of a local population of 385,346.
It was 46 earlier today.  

As more people test the stats go higher and higher…

Went to the supermarkets today.  All the tinned food has now gone and most of the frozen but Sainsburys were doing their best to restack.  Booze is starting to run short too… at least the beer.  

I think the panic buying is a good example of recursion.  The more people imagine there to be food shortages the more they panic buy and the more the government tells them not to panic buy the more they imagine there must be food shortages.  This reinforces the panic buying mentality until everyone's shopping list is a Fibonacci sequence...



People keep sending me links telling me to buy/enjoy their content online as all public places have been closed.  Which reminds to me I should probably plug my books since you’re all sat indoors with nothing else to do…


Boris was on TV again today promising to spend his way out, offering 80 of the wages of the affected and offering a bigger safety net for the unemployed.  Maybe we should have deadly viruses more often.  I believe that after the Black Death everyone got a lot richer because when the world population dropped from 475 million to 350–375 million that meant there were less people to do the work … I wonder if any of those eco-puritans who don’t have children because it will destroy the planet feel at silly when a large chuck of population unexpectedly…

Talking of which top marks to the man who walked behind a BBC journalist dressed as a plague doctor (see the Mirror here for clip)

On the plus side Petrol is down to 114p...

Not Only ... But Also... MI5

Yesterday I was unfriended by someone on Facebook.  I questioned the narrative generally wheeled on in articles such as this  that all the B...

Least ignored nonsense this month...