The Gospel according to Pete Buttigeig

Visiting my parents on New Year’s Day I took the opportunity to peruse the Daily Mail as often I do on these occasions.  There were a lot of angry letters on the letters page about Jesus not having been a refugee.  Like the best newspaper letters these veered off into rants that ticked a number of ideological boxes while never referencing the original context that had spawned them.   

Those feet did not in ancient time walk upon England's mountains green one correspondent informed us.  Adding that the holy Lamb of God was not on England's pleasant pastures seen to be receiving benefits.  For Jesus did not come here and if he had come he would not have come simply to use the National Health Service but to “save our souls”.  

Of course he would not have come to use the NHS as being both human and divine he would not have had the need of healthcare free-at-the-point-of-need because he could heal himself.  Most of these sentiments were not expressed as poetically as William Blake might have expressed them but they made up for their lack of metaphysical musing with a great deal of clarity of thought.

Inevitably I began to wonder from whence this outpouring of interest in scripture sprung and it appears to be from an American presidential candidate with the suggestive name of Pete Buttigeig who pondered on twitter on Christmas Day (for when there’s no real international news reprinting a twitter thread is a substitute of sorts) “Today I join the millions around the world in celebrating the arrival of divinity on earth, who came into this world not in riches but in poverty, not as a citizen but as a refugee.”

Invariably Mr Buttigeig’s correspondents heaped derision on him for not being correct – stating that Jesus had only gone to Bethlehem so that Joseph could pay his taxes.  There were other diatribes stating that even though the holy family stayed in a stable this was not because they were not middle class but because of a temporary housing shortage that resulted in the local authorities not being able to offer him Bed and Breakfast accommodation as there was no room at the Premier Inn.

This is possibly true but it is also true that Jesus was a refugee because as soon as he was born an angel appeared to Joseph telling them to scarper sharpish as King Herod was about to massacre all “the innocents” in an attempt to eliminate any other Kings who might be hanging about … so they fled into Egypt.  So on this point at least Mr Buttigeig is technically half right.  Jesus was a refugee when they fled into Egypt …although he was a citizen …but not of Egypt.  Not that the truth really mattered to any of the participants in the Biblical media bun fight that ensued … but I thought I should point that actually Mr Buttigeig was sort of right (probably more by accident than design) in case anyone had a passing interest in it.

And did the Countenance Divine,

Shine forth among internet shills?

And was Jerusalem tweeted here,

Among discussion treadmills?

As DPP Starmer made such a mark...

As DPP Starmer made such a mark
That they gave him all the Yewtree bark.
Keir prosecuted Harris but not Gambaccini
who he failed to prosecute but did not let free
(he failed to prosecute but did not let free)
His failure to prosecute Gambaccini,
Means he now will be Leader of the Labour Party!
(His failure to prosecute Gambaccini,
Means he now will be Leader of the Labour Party!)

The DPP grew famous so was sent
By Bloomsbury Labour into Parliament.
He always voted at the EU's call,
And he never thought that we would not remain at all.
(he never thought that we would not remain at all)
He remained remain so they rewarded he
By making him the Leader of the Labour Party!
(He remained remain so they rewarded he
By making him the Leader of the Labour Party!)

Pope Benedict XVI cannonises the 4 Brexit Martyrs of England and Wales

Today in his Christmas message Pope Benedict XVI cannonised the 4 Brexit Martyrs of England and Wales. (There were no Brexit Martyrs in Scotland because the Tories don't win seats there).

I know some of you think that due process may not have been followed here but in the case of a martyr, a miracle is not required.

For a martyr, the Pope has only to make a declaration of martyrdom, which is a certification that the MP gave his career voluntarily as a witness of the Benn Act or in an act of pro-Europeanism for others. 

All four Brexit martyrs had been publically disemboweled at the ballot box.

Saint David Gauke

2017 Conservative Majority 19,550
leaves a flat in central London on which he claimed expenses
despite only living an hour away...

Conservative     Gagan Mohindra     30,327     49.6     -8.4
Independent     David Gauke     15,919     26.0     N/A







Saint Dominic Grieve

2017 Conservative Majority 24,543
never did resolve the "endemic" issues of voter fraud...

Conservative     Joy Morrissey     32,477     56.1     -9.1
Independent     Dominic Grieve     16,765     29.0     N/A









Saint Samuel Gyimah

2017 Conservative Majority 23,914
- Turncoat who switched to the Liberal Democrats in Kensington
where he increased the Liberal Democrat vote by 9.1 per cent
but failed to do a Winston Churchill

Labour     Emma Dent Coad     16,618    
Liberal Democrats     Sam Gyimah     9,312    





Saint Antoinette Sandbach

2017 Conservative Majority 11,942
- Turncoat who switched to the Liberal Democrats
and stood for re-election in her old seat increasing the Liberal Democrat vote 12.6 per cent
and was viciously slaughtered at the polls

Conservative     Edward Timpson     30,095     56.8    
Labour     Terry Savage     11,652        
Liberal Democrats     Antoinette Sandbach     9,582    
   



And let us not forget those that retired rather than be martyred:

Kenneth Clarke 8,010
Philip Hammond 18,050
Sir Oliver Letwin 19,091
Justine Greening 1,554
Rory Stewart 15,910
Sir Nicholas Soames: 19,673
Alistair Burt 20,862
Guto Bebb 635
Richard Benyon 24,380
Richard Harrington 2,092
Margot James 7,654
Anne Milton 17,040
Edward Vaizey: 17,380

And finally let us give up a special prayer for the falsely repentant
who have had the Whip Restored
in return for the everlasting damnation of their immortal souls...

Greg Clark 16,465 -> majority reduced to 14,645
Stephen Hammond 5,622 -> majority reduced to 628
Steve Brine 9,999 -> majority reduced to 985
Caroline Nokes 18,006 -> majority reduced to 10,872

Big Ben

Big Ben is to chime an extra time on Brexit day.  Just thought I'd mention it before anyone sends to know for whom the bell tolls...

A Thank You to the Readers....

One of the oddities of having a blog like this is that one never knows who the readers are.  The analytics assure me though that there are readers so one supposes they do exist.  Much of this website's traffic appears to be directed from pornographic websites and there's also been a large number of hits from the population of the Ukraine in recent days.  I wonder why.  Is it something to do with Donald Trump?  Who knows?  But I thought perhaps I should take time out to thank everyone for taking time out from watching porn or participating in making porn to read this website.  It just goes to show there's an audience out there for everyone....

In other news the Independent Group for Change has closed down as all the candidates lost their deposits.  Pathetic.  Doctor David Owen never let a little thing like not having any seats lead to the end of the SDP.  There's a reason you're going nowhere...