An update on Peace Negotiations

Donald Trump said today that the White House has agreed almost everything with Iran and that peace is imminent.  "Peace is about to happen," he said. "Indeed, it is happening now.  There are just a few details that J D is trying to tidy up in the agreements.  These include the missiles that we've fired at them and the missiles we've shot down and the missiles they fired at us and other missiles fired at other countries including Israel who have also fired missiles at them.  The ships we intend to sink, the mines in the Straight of Hormuz and the planes they are shooting down.  The continuing war in Lebanon is also another small detail but we're very nearly there.  We're also closer to an agreement on Uranium which is much better than the agreement on Uranium that that Hussein Obama came up with.  That was a very bad agreement.  We will have a very good agreement.  J D is unanimous in that.  People say that J D is the monkey and I am the organ grinder but I think of J D as more like a chimpanzee than a monkey.  Probably like the one that Ronald Reagan used to appear in.  He's some kind of ape that's for sure but I'm happy for him to sit on my organ.  The war is practically over so I think I should give myself a big hand with my little hands.  Very soon we will have peace in our time but not quite this time but some time.  It will be another of the many wars I have ended which I hope you will notice also includes ones I have started.  Anyone can end a war but starting and ending a war that takes a special kind of person and everyone agrees I am very special indeed.  Some people complain about gas prices but they are not nice people.  They are very nasty people. We don't like those people. Those people should be in prison like Jean E Carroll.  She is not a nice person.  She tells lies and fantasies.  We call her Lewis Carroll.  Especially when we're photographed next to a person in a rabbit costume at Easter.  In fact that probably was Jean E in the costume.".