Trump's Deputy Parachutes into Glasgow

The following statement was issued from 10 Downing Street just before midnight - "James David Vance, the Vice President of the United States and Deputy Leader of the Repbulican Maga Party has landed in Scotland in these circumstances.  "On the night of the 4th of November a VH-92A Patriot was reported by our patrols to have crossed the coast of Scotland and be flying in the direction of Glasgow.  Since a VH-92A Patriot  would not have the fuel to return to Washington the report was disbelieved.  

Later on a VH-92A Patriot crashed near Glasgow with its guns unloaded.  Shortly afterwards and American deputy to the Commander in Chief who had bailed out was found with his parachute in the neighbourhood suffering a broken ego.  He was taken to hospital where he gave his surname as Vance even though it is Bowman but later declared his name was James David Vance.  He brought with him various screenshots of his tweets on X to prove his identity".  

Since before this statement was issued the US Government mystified the world with the following extraordinary statement by the Vice President:  "We lost the election because of the war.  I blame my boss and I have run away with my tail beneath my legs in hope that I'll only end up in Spandau rather than being hung.  It's a peace mission."