The most expensive squaddie in history...

Mr Starmer has responded to Mr Trump's fascist threat to annex Greenland by imposing Tarrifs on the UK that are likely to cost £15 billion to the UK economy, possibly making this one soldier the most expensive squaddie in history.  

Private Equity said today that he was proud to carry to the economic can for Britain.  

"In the past British soldiers had to go over the top, fight them on the beeches and the landing grounds and parachute behind enemy lines.  It's really progress that today we can just keep war economic and that to start one all a single soldier has to do is turn up.  It's a testament to how terrifying we, the British Army, are that just one of us can result in crippling economic sanctions on an entire nation.  You can hear the sound of Donald Trump soiling himself every time I don my Busby.  Indeed, I often don my red ceremonial uniform just to remind me how far in the red I've made Britain."

Me Starmer, the Prime Minister, meanwhile stated at a press conference today as The World Economically Held to Ransom Forum that "We shall fight them on the European Stoxx 50 index, we shall fight them on the FTSE 100 blue chip index.  We shall never surrender the French Cac 40 or the German Dax and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were economically subjugated and starving, then our British Overseas Territories beyond the seas like Bermuda, Gibraltar and the Falklands, armed and guarded by the International Monetary Fund would carry on the struggle, until, in God’s good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the financial foreclosure of the old."