Burn the master tapes and we'll all pretend none of this ever happened...

There was a time when Royalty was the pinnacle of the aristocracy with Viscounts, Lords and the Baronets beneath them.  However since Louis D'Ascoyne Mazzini, 10th Duke of Chalfont was found guilty by the House of Lords it was decided to draw to a close the presentation of young debutants and instead hold lots of Garden Parties and since that time the Royal Family have increasingly been trying to find more “normal people” to hang out with.  Ordinary folk like James Bond, Paddington, Basil Brush and now the cast of Eastenders.  Yes, out of morbid curiosity I actually watched the Eastenders Royal special so you don’t have to. 

This isn’t the first time the Royals have wandered into soap opera.  On the 8th December 2000 Charles appeared (pre-recorded) in a “live” episode of Coronation Street to commemorate the programme’s 40^th anniversary.  Long gone is the time when John Nathan-Turner couldn’t persuade Prince Edward to appear in a 25^th anniversary episode of Doctor Who… so in the interests of balance I suppose it was only natural that Charles should appear in an episode of Eastenders to commemorate his mother’s Platinum Jubilee*. 

Anyway, there was no plot to this particular episode that I can make out only some kind of local talent event and a visit by their Royal Highneses to the pub and the market.  Statistically about 24% of the population are republicans but this being naked fictional propaganda it was possible for Charles and Camilla to go walkabout amongst seemingly normal people without arousing a single negative reaction or even a cold shoulder.  So everyone was jolly happy!

One character decided unprompted to thank Prince Charles for helping him out via the Prince’s Trust, another offered Camilla a drop of rum and a third thought they were just impersonators – with hilarious consequences – but fortunately he had a “heart of gold” so it was all okay.  Someone told the Prince that they had worked on the same market stall all their life and everybody was charmed by this tale of social immobility.

There was a sub plot about some money but you probably have to watch other episodes to understand that.  Press reactions seem to have been mixed with comments on twitter ranging from 

“This is so weird is it all just improv??? #EastEnders" 

to 

"WAIT WHAT? I want to watch the soap EastEnders so why am I seeing acting trying to be real life or is this genuine? I'm confused. Get back to the real drama #EastEnders" 

to 

“Burn the master tapes and we'll all pretend none of this ever happened.. ” 

(see here and here).  

Even the usually loyal Daily Telegraph described it as a “toe curling watch” 

(see here).  

But it could have been worse.  We could have suffered another Royal It’s A Knockout … and it at least made the Doctor Who Dimensions In Time Crossover more plausible.  At least it didn’t break the cardinal rule of Eastenders that no one should ever rise above their station by the end of any episode... 

* It will we all suppose be her last Jubilee but it is just possible that, with advances in medical science, she could just make it to 122 like Jeanne Calment, and they’ll have to think up another substance for that Jubilee.  Gold is the next element in the periodic table but since she’s already done that one I guess it will be Bismuth since Mercury is a toxic liquid metal, Thallium is the one used for rat poison and after that they’re all unstable or radioactive or both like Polonium so I guess Bismuth (used in cosmetics) it will have to be…