Saturday 29 September 2018

The other day I watched Panorama : Inside Number 10 – Deal or No Deal?


I don’t know why I watch Panorama at all it’s all doom and gloom.  This one seemed a bit lighter than usual.  I suppose it was supposed to be some form of political propaganda… about Ms May’s plan for Brexit.  Nick Robinson told us portentously at the top of the program that he’d been given unprecedented access to the Prime Minister during Brexit negotiations.  What this means in reality as far as I could see was that he’d been allowed to sit in a car with her sometimes and to interview her. 

Yes, Ms May is at the moment reduced to reality TV in order to be taken seriously.  The Big Brother House it was not - if you disregard the threat of eviction.  However, we were allowed to watch Mr and Mrs May watch ITV’s the Chase.  Paul Sinha must be so proud.  Philip May called a flower the wrong name.  But the most interesting thing about this documentary was not what was said but what was seen.  Of course we weren’t actually allowed to see any really important negotiations or meetings.  We were allowed to see the start of Cabinet meetings before the cameras were ushered out by men in suits.  We were allowed to watch Ms May make a very brief telephone call.  And we were allowed to watch Nick ask her obvious questions… such as … we’re all stuffed aren’t we?  But that was it.

However two characters seemed to get a lot of screen time while saying nothing.  More so than I’d be expecting.  One was Larry the Cat ....


 Larry the Cat photographed by some Civil Servant

...and the other Gavin Barwell.  


One of these people is Gavin Barwell

For those of you who don’t know in 2008 Gavin Barwell became the prospective parliamentary candidate for Croydon Central following his predecessor having the whip withdrawn for having a messy love life.  During this time Gavin could never stop talking or doing.  He blogged and tweeted every single day.  He picked lots of litter off the streets and dropped lots of litter political leaflets onto doormats and sure enough he eventually became MP for the highly marginal seat of Croydon Central …until Ms May called a snap election over Brexit and lost him his seat and her her majority. 

So these days Gavin doesn’t have time for blogging or picking up litter.  His hours are spent as Ms May’s troubleshooter in chief.  How he shoots trouble your guess is as good as mine but we saw Gavin sitting next to the Prime Minister, Gavin watching television for the Prime Minister and Gavin standing next to the Prime Minister.  People don't notice him, they never see under their noses Gavin may be.  At one point Nick asked Gavin a question but as Gavin said next to nothing in reply there was little to be seen except a stiff upper lip.  No, these days there is no time for picking up litter but as always Gavin is making good use of the things that he finds.  Things that the everyday folks leave behind – like lost Referendums and Elections  and Northen Irish questions...

Ms May explained her plan for after Brexit which is that we should have the same deal as other countries outside the EU only better.  Her backbenchers said no one likes her.  Sir Keir Starmer said if only he was in charge of the negotiations the EU would roll over and let him tickle its tummy.  And Gavin said nothing.  Poor Gavin he always has the worst jobs in politics.  Or what seem like the worst jobs in politics.  If this were Tudor England he would be Groom of the Stool.

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