I don’t know why I watch Panorama at all it’s all doom and
gloom. This one seemed a bit lighter than
usual. I suppose it was supposed to be
some form of political propaganda… about Ms May’s plan for Brexit. Nick Robinson told us portentously at the top
of the program that he’d been given unprecedented access to the Prime Minister
during Brexit negotiations. What this
means in reality as far as I could see was that he’d been allowed to sit in a
car with her sometimes and to interview her.
Yes, Ms May is at the moment reduced to reality TV in order
to be taken seriously. The Big Brother
House it was not - if you disregard the threat of eviction. However, we were
allowed to watch Mr and Mrs May watch ITV’s the Chase. Paul Sinha must be so proud. Philip May called a flower the wrong name. But the most interesting thing about this
documentary was not what was said but what was seen. Of course we weren’t actually allowed to see
any really important negotiations or meetings.
We were allowed to see the start of Cabinet meetings before the cameras
were ushered out by men in suits. We
were allowed to watch Ms May make a very brief telephone call. And we were allowed to watch Nick ask her
obvious questions… such as … we’re all stuffed aren’t we? But that was it.
However two characters seemed to get a lot of screen time
while saying nothing. More so than I’d
be expecting. One was Larry the Cat ....
Larry the Cat photographed by some Civil Servant
...and the
other Gavin Barwell.
One of these people is Gavin Barwell
For those of you who don’t know in 2008 Gavin Barwell became
the prospective parliamentary candidate for Croydon Central following his
predecessor having the whip withdrawn for having a messy love life. During this time Gavin could never stop
talking or doing. He blogged and tweeted
every single day. He picked lots of
litter off the streets and dropped lots of litter political leaflets
onto doormats and sure enough he eventually became MP for the highly marginal
seat of Croydon Central …until Ms May called a snap election over Brexit and
lost him his seat and her her majority.
So these days Gavin doesn’t have time for blogging or
picking up litter. His hours are spent
as Ms May’s troubleshooter in chief. How
he shoots trouble your guess is as good as mine but we saw Gavin sitting next
to the Prime Minister, Gavin watching television for the Prime Minister and
Gavin standing next to the Prime Minister.
People don't notice him, they never see under their noses Gavin may be. At one point Nick asked Gavin a
question but as Gavin said next to nothing in reply there was little to be seen
except a stiff upper lip. No, these days
there is no time for picking up litter but as always Gavin is making good use
of the things that he finds. Things that the everyday folks leave behind – like lost
Referendums and Elections and Northen Irish questions...
Ms May explained her plan for after Brexit which is that we
should have the same deal as other countries outside the EU only better. Her backbenchers said no one likes her. Sir Keir Starmer said if only he was in
charge of the negotiations the EU would roll over and let him tickle its
tummy. And Gavin said nothing. Poor Gavin he always has the worst jobs in
politics. Or what seem like the worst
jobs in politics. If this were Tudor
England he would be Groom of the Stool.
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