Sunday, 31 March 2024

War is a coming...

Over on BBC iPlayer Ms Dooley is sent to watch the British Army train the Ukrainian conscript army to become fresh cannon fodder in their hopelessly undermanned war.  Possibly the most depressing section is where the recruits recall being asked if they are prepared to die for their country and unanimously saying "Yes".  I'd be saying "I'm not sure.  It sounds a bit inconvenient."

Meanwhile Donald Tusk of Poland is blowing very hard over the media that he's sure WWIII is coming probably quite soon.  Where did it all go wrong?  And where will it ever end?  I'm sure they're getting us ready for conscription...

Most of the poor souls going to fight in WWI style trenches and practicing sleeping in puddles think they have to go as if Putin takes over he'll simply exterminate everyone.  Perhaps but it all seems very hopeless... How many young men can they find?  One thing hasn't changed.  The front line troops are still mostly men.  Perhaps that's why they decided this documentary should be fronted by a pregnant lady...?

 

The perfect gift for a book lover is not...


 








....a mug printed with pictures of books...


...or...











...a hoodie printed with a picture of a cat reading a book...


... it's just another book.

Thursday, 28 March 2024

Ramadan & Easter coincide...

Both Ramadan & Easter move so it's just a coincidence both occur simultaneously this year.  I am religious and, as Father Jack would say ... "That would be an ecumenical matter"...



Easter is any time between end of March and end of April as defined by the lunar calendar.  Whereas Ramadan is tied to a calendar such that it moves 10 days in a year so we're likely to get several coincidences then none for a long time....

Wednesday, 27 March 2024

From Mayfair to Park Lane I have been watching again again...


This month (thanks to Ava Alexis’s Christmas presents) I have been mostly watching You Rang, M'Lord? – Croft and Perry’s final sitcom offering – this time in an unusual 50 minute format… a sitcom length that had only just become known after Only Fools and Horses expanded to it …and has seldom been repeated as an experiment….

Watching it 30 years on from its original broadcast I appreciated it much more than the first time out …perhaps because the storylines are ongoing and I was able to follow them watching the episodes sequentially.  When it first went out I was …well, young and always out …so though I liked the show and the premise I never really got that into it… Perhaps it stands up better now because of the distance in time from the broadcast of the preceding Hi-De-Hi.  John Cleese said that one of the problems with using the same cast twice is that the audience then have the same expectations.  At least that’s how he explained Fierce Creatures being a flop.  Watching this again it’s much easier to accept Su Pollard, Paul Shane and Jeffrey Holland as their new different characters.  Although there are similarities between Ted Bovis and Alf Stokes they are more recognisable as different performances now to me … similarly Spike and James Twelvetrees.  Although I did find the name Tewlvetrees a bit hard to get my head round… Well, it could have been worse… Sevenoaks?  Maybe we’ve all got more sophisticated as audiences these days and are more willing to accept actors in different roles.  I saw an old TV interview on Facebook the other day where a forgotten TV interviewer interrogated Harry H Corbett for about 5 minutes on being typecast like it was the only thing to say… 


Anyway…

Particularly clever is that Alf Stokes although lambasting the upper classes for their unearned wealth is so greedy that he immediately undermines his own arguments.  Shane does a great job of making a potentially very unlikable character sympathetic.  His relationship with Mrs Blanche Lipton (Brenda Cowling) is particularly upsetting as he spins her ever more elaborate lies for pecuniary gain.  Even going so far as to have her cooking cakes for orphans that don’t exist that he sells commercially.  When his daughter Ivy (Su Pollard) forces him to put an end to this obnoxious deception he is so deluded as to tell her that she is spoiling her inheritance – actually believing there were enough Mrs Liptons in the world (with their “excellent cherry cake”s that it could be somehow scaled up.

The upstairs cast is fleshed out with Donald Hewlett and Michael Knowles reprising their double act in a different form from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum… all of them are strangled by wanting relationships across class lines.  The ensemble cast is too huge to detail individually but particularly memorable is Henry Livingstone (Perry Benson) the boot boy orphan so far down the pecking order that he hasn’t got a birthday “because I’m an orphan”.  Although he’d not quite the bottom… below even him is the visiting domestic help Mabel “that’ll be nice” Wheeler (Barbara New) who isn’t allowed to even eat with the servants but instead is doled out leftover scraps to take home.

There seem to be more roles for women in this sitcom with monocled lesbian "Cissy" Meldrum (Catherine Rabett) and her cattish snobby sister Poppy (Susie Brann) rounding out the Meldrum family upstairs… or do I mean Downstairs? ….her eventual lumbering of herself with nice-but-dim Jerry (John D. Collins – finally given a role with more to say than “Hello!” in Allo Allo) is particularly sad… while Teddy (Michael Knowles) Meldrum’s eventual marriage to Rose is quite an uplifting ending for a character initially introduced to us as a sexual predator … would it be allowed today?

At the end when the Meldrums loose a lot of money it’s amusing to finally see Mabel and Henry move up the ranks… whilst other characters and relationships are left more open-ended…

Anyway, it was fun to watch again.  I particularly enjoyed that they got Stuart McGugan back from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum ,the invention of the Whoopee Cushion (which has a fictional genesis not too far from its real life history), bakelite, ahead of their time jokes about slavery, Captain Dolby, Teddy's analysis of Bertie Wooster, Guy Siner (as Noel Coward) and Donald Hewlett’s intonation when he pronounces on the fortunes of the “Union Jack Rubber Company” …”Yes, that’s just one of our lines…”


Wednesday, 20 March 2024

So anyone know what's wrong with Kate?


Best theories I've heard so far are...

Crohn's disease (explains abdominal surgery and long recovery time)

Mental Health issue (explains why she's only seen in fuzzy long shot / hidden in an attic like Mr Rochester's wife)

Lazy Cow (pretends to be ill but still pottering about as normal while on a sicky)

Estranged (has the hump with William so gone on strike)

**

Update: The correct answer was that like 1 out of 2 people during their lifetime, Kate sadly has cancer.  It comes to every other one of us....

Invites


Some interesting friend requests on Facebook recently.  However, if you claim to be studying at Cambridge University and your mobile phone has a Nigerian dialing code that seems unlikely.  It seems particularly incongruous too when your profile pictures (which are all else that remains of your profile) depict you as both a young black man and a young white man.  That said it is quite an achievement for a young 20 year old of any ethnicity to be driving a sports car and working as a manager at a top UK share trading company since 1980 when he would have been minus 20.

I would remind you all that if you want to be my Facebook friend you are up against some pretty stiff competition including senior programming managers at Facebook who never talk about code and young ladies who cordially invite me to visit third party websites to show me photographs of themselves.

Tuesday, 19 March 2024

Say what you like about Elizabeth II..

Say what you like about Elizabeth "I have to be seen to be believed" II ...She could get off her death bed for a photo ... 


 

Wednesday, 13 March 2024

People raffling glass houses

These "stunning houses" omaze are trying to raffle always seems to contain a lot of glass.  Can't fool me.  I know the difference between a mansion & a greenhouse.
 

Sunday, 10 March 2024

It's your own fault for introducing the 1902 Education Act



All this slashing pictures and toppling statues stuff is entirely down to one thing. The decline of Guy Fawkes Night. In the past all of these activities could have been simply avoided by burning someone in effigy.

Meanwhile over the pond...



 


Friday, 8 March 2024

He is Risen


Has anyone told him Jesus rose from the dead and the Pope is the direct successor to St Peter yet?

So sad that despite the wide dissemination of Gideon Bibles in hotel rooms so many people still seem not to have heard the Good News 

Windmill

Top tip: New comics.  During the 1950s many famous comedians learnt their trade by appearing between the striptease acts at the Windmill Theatre.  Having to stand out from soft pornography really sharpened their comedy.  Today you can recreate this  learning experience much more quickly and easily by simply posting a joke on twitter and hoping somebody spots it between the AI porn bots.

Wednesday, 6 March 2024

Octopus








Tell me, O Octopus, I begs, 

Is those arms antisemitic legs? 

University Challenged Octopus 

What do you mean you will sue Us?

A lot of discounted American libations in the Spirits Aisle

  Does nobody want to buy booze from a fascist dictatorship? It's terribly nice with ICE...

Least ignored nonsense this month...