Letter to the Editor

Dear Sir, I write most strongly to protest at the government's plans to re-enlist ex-soldiers up to the age of 65 back into the army should there be an International Crisis such an invasion of Greenland.  During the last war I was told that I was too old to fight despite being only 54.  

This was a bitter blow to my personal pride at the time but instead of drafting us into the regular army, the government set up a special unit known as the Local Defence Volunteers (later the Home Guard) specifically for gentlemen such as myself who were not quite spry enough for normal combat situations because they might need to be excused at a vital moment or had signs of early onset dementia such as continuously shouting that "they don't like it up 'em" at inappropriate moments or because they had important business activities to perform such as supplying essential supplies, managing a bank or running the local undertakers.  I would remind you that as Mr Edwin Starr said undertaking is a very important business sector during armed hostilities.  I feel very strongly that such a force if brought into being again could be far more use to His Majesty than drafting important local figures such as myself directly into the regular army particularly since I unfortunately now have considerable mobility issues which have prevented me actively participating in the renovation of Frambourne-on-Sea pier.  Indeed, I hardly get out at all since the Reverend Timothy Farthing invited me to join the invisible choir.  I hasten to add however, that I did indeed serve in the regular army during the Great War and was deployed to France in 1919.  

I've heard that modern warfare is much more about pressing buttons than physical dexterity but I can't see, for example, the King's younger brother flying a drone let alone a helicopter again given his great difficulty in seeing anything untoward going on around him.  Even if he says it is no sweat, I do not think It is a good idea.  Therefore I propose that the time has come for our Prime Minister to consider a relaunch of the Local Defence Volunteer force.

Yours sincerely,

Capt. George Mainwaring (141)

St Aldhelm's Church Cemetery 

Walmington-on-Sea