Saturday, 4 June 2022

Chris Huhne's ex on what good value the Royals are...


My favourite bit of Jubilee coverage so far ... Vicky Price clearly enjoyed her 8 months spent at Her Majesty's Pleasure for perverting the course of justice so much that she's taken time out of her day to tell us that the Monarchy are value for money.  Two minutes in probably remembering that she's supposed to be a professional economist she then starts unprompted to admit she has absolutely no idea where the money goes and which Royals benefit from it and how ... 

An Economist talks nonsense on GB news



Thursday, 2 June 2022

RIP then the Fixed Term Parliaments Act

 


As Boris's tenure seems to be running out of road I thought I'd think of one good thing he did.  And I came up with repealing Dodgy Dave's Fixed Term Parliament Act that caused the prorogation crisis of 2019.  As the UK government website explains (see here) it was an ultimately doomed exercise that resulted in a constitutional crisis as the Tories were hoist with their own petard and actually managed to create a situation where a minority of back bench MPs were running an alternative legislative programme to the elected minority government. 

Because democracy is 50% +1 ...not 66%+1...  This resulted in Boris lying to the Queen and the Queen's decision to prorogue parliament being overturned by the Supreme Court on Judicial Review.  Of course the Queen cannot be wrong - only misadvised under the bizarre concept of Wednesbury unreasonableness (see here).  A new review of Judicial Review has also been undertaken to stop this happening again (see here). 

In the mean time here is a boring post to celebrate the abolition of Nick and Dave's stitch up to cling onto power if they failed to form a majority government.  Still not to worry we have the Queen to save us from dictatorship and politicians over-reaching themselves... and when she's gone good King Charlie will stand Canute style before the incoming ocean of corruption ... etc etc  I know this news is a couple of months old but I've only got round to reading about it...

"Under the Fixed-term Parliaments Act, which has governed how UK Parliamentary elections are called since 2011, an election could only be triggered outside of the normal five-year Parliamentary cycle by one of two scenarios: if two-thirds of the House of Commons voted in favour of one, or if the Government lost a vote of no confidence and no alternative government was confirmed by the House of Commons within 14 days.  This law caused chaos and constitutional deadlock in 2019, and neither the 2015 Parliament nor the 2017 Parliament lasted their full term."


Tuesday, 31 May 2022

Pear Shaped Last Month...


 

I'm not sure who if anyone reads this blog...

 ...but I'm not sure I'm appealing to the right people.



Dying at Home Alone


Yesterday the police broke into my brother's neighbour's flat. He'd been dead for a week or two and was attracting flies. The man downstairs died in similar circumstances three years ago. Towards the end he had mobility issues and so just threw his old books and newspapers in a giant pile in the corner of the room. There wasn't even any evidence that he'd ever had relatives that they could find. He died intestate so a load of officials had to waste two years trying to find a living relative. In the end they found he had an estranged son living in Australia who he hadn't seen in 30 years. Sadly this is how many people go. And the moral of the this story is write a will or the state will get it.

A regular correspondent informed me... "I had a summer job in social services. We found someone who died at least two years earlier. The xmas tree lights were still on as was the TV. Direct debits meant his bills were paid. He lived on the top corner flat of a block. He had a second internal door for security which masked the smell."

Monday, 16 May 2022

I'm happy to force a division on each and every clause .... Each division takes 20 minutes and there are more than 270 clauses

 

The video above is so depressing a toffee nosed man who sits in the Lords says in a toffee nosed way that it isn't fair but he seems to be there so he goes there and everyone thinks this is quaint while in the comments the old snobberies for not electing people are wheeled out... 

"There's an argument for unelected legislators... "

Well, yes, there's an argument for not using seat belts ...but it's silly.

Recent events such as the Queen's Platinum Jubilee and Prince Charles's rendition of the latest "Queen's Speech" have got me thinking about the Monarchy again.  

Many commented on how outdated Charles, William and Camilla and the crown being conveyed by Rolls-Royce looked but seeing Prince Charles in the big gold chair just reminded me of how modern the monarchy actually is when put next to the House of Lords.  

For example ...for all you can say against the Monarchy it has at least given up on male primogeniture which is more than can be said for 92 remaining hereditary peers who are all men.  Mind you the next three Kings will all be men unless one of them pops their clogs ...  Over at the Atlantic (see here) there's actually a campaign by toffee nosed women to be equally as unelected as toffee nosed men.  Because that's equality.  Honestly... It's enough to make you feel fondly about intersectionality.  Charlotte Clare Pole suffers discrimination both because she's a woman and because she has nose made of toffee.

Of course the 92 hereditary Peers exist for two reasons.  They're Tories.  And when the Blair government finally got the other hereditary peers to vote themselves out of existence they needed to do a deal with some of the remaining ones to get the other ones to vote for their own demise ... otherwise they'd have had to use the 1911 Parliament Act which eats up huge swathes of parliamentary time or put up with the constant derailing of other legislation by endless amendments.  


Prize parasite the Earl of Onslow openly said, "I'm happy to force a division on each and every clause of the Scotland Bill. Each division takes 20 minutes and there are more than 270 clauses."  Yes, that's the one who died in 2011 from Clandon Park House (built with the profits of slavery) that was gutted by fire in April 2015.  There is of course another Earl of Onslow now because the title is hereditary ... but he's not in the Lords because he hasn't won a "by-election".  You see...

In order to square this circle a fudge was put in place in the House of Lords 1999 known as the Weatherill Amendment (after the Speaker of the House of Commons of the same name) whereby 92 peers were allowed to stay (as a temporary measure) so that the bill could pass.  Now you might think that some of these hereditary peers would have the good grace to die and then the 92 would gradually decline to 0 without anyone having to be made redundant ... but this is Britain so instead a bizarre by-election process was created for every time one of the 92 dies ....but not a by-election you or I can vote in ...the only voters are other peers...

You'd think someone would do something about this and indeed Lord Grocott (see here) does - regularly trying to bring legislation to end the by-election farce and regularly having his attempts scuppered at every turn... but that's democracy in Britain.  They don't even bother to pretend its fair...

It's all just a series of temporary measures ...

...which we will get round to sorting out ...

...eventually ...

It's something Sir Kier Starmer says Sir Gordon Brown is working on....

...if Labour ever gets out of opposition ...



So...

So I saw adverts for jobs as prison officers on Facebook so I blocked them

So instead...

I saw adverts for jobs with the police on Facebook so I blocked them....
So instead ....

I saw an advert for a conference headlined by George Clooney and George W Bush...

So...

What lower circles are there to plumb in Facebook advert hell..?

Tuesday, 26 April 2022

Shareholding

Anthony,

We've been so successful using shareholder action to get companies to change their bad behaviour...that they're trying to shut the whole program down!


After a SumOfUs shareholder resolution forced Apple to publish its first-ever human rights policy, the US stock regulator made a new rule -- anyone who wants to bring this kind of resolution will need to hold thousands of shares...and companies are setting VERY early deadlines to buy them!


They're trying to silence everyone but the richest shareholders. But Anthony, we can beat them at their own game.


We already bought shares in Apple, Google, Facebook, and Bayer Monsanto. Now if 5000 people reading this email chip in the cost of a coffee, SumOfUs can buy enough shares in Nestlé to have our say at its AGM, ratcheting up the pressure over their stealing water from communities worldwide…and helping choke the ocean with disposable plastic.


For the next 24 hours, we will use everything you give to generate matching donations from big funders, doubling your impact -- can you join in to buy a piece of Nestlé?


CHIP IN £1

Chip in another amount


Shareholder advocacy used to be straightforward -- a SumOfUs member with stocks would just sign a letter, get a letter from their broker, and our community could file a co-resolution to be debated at Annual General Meetings.


And we had incredible success, not only with Apple's human rights policy. A strong shareholder proposal pushed TD Bank, one of the world's biggest funders of fossil fuels, to commit to net-zero by 2050. Pepsi committed to sustainably-sourced palm oil. And more!


But now the US stock authority is rigging the rules to favour big-dollar shareholders, adding time-consuming and arduous rules: increasing the minimum number of shares, increasing how long you have to hold the shares, and requiring that co-filers like SumOfUs provide a list of times they can meet with the corporation to discuss their resolution.


It's a lot to ask. But the good news is it means our strategy is working. And there's a simple solution: bring our community together to buy stocks in some of the biggest corporations to keep achieving real-world change. We started with Apple, and bought Google and Facebook stock too. Now it's time for Nestlé to see what we can do. Can you help finally hold this corporate giant to account for its planet destroying practices? (Remember, your donation will be used to get matching donations!)


CHIP IN £1


Sum of Us


Dear Sum of Us


Who gets the dividends from all these shares or the capital gains when the shares increase in value? I can't think why no one thought of bringing down economic neoliberalism by buying shares before. It would sure have stopped Mrs Thatcher in her tracks. 


Yours sincerely 


Anthony Miller 



 



Wednesday, 16 March 2022

Citizen Smith as viewed in 2022

As it is heading into spring I have started to finish traversing Ava Alexis’s Christmas presents and have just watched the whole of John Sullivan’s Citizen Smith.  It still seems very topical what with the economy heading towards the oil price booms and inflationary spirals of the 1970s again…

Included in the box set is the pilot episode which was re-recorded when the pilot went to series due to the re-casting of “father” Artro Morris with Peter Vaughan who gets to play a rather more sympathetic character than his usual sinister characters such as "Genial" Harry Grout in Porridge – although there’s always the undertone of menace.  

Vaughn’s character is father to Walter Henry "Wolfie" Smith's girlfriend Shirley Johnson (Cheryl Hall) and despite despising Wolfie offers him and his deadbeat pal Ken Mills a flat upstairs to rent “with hilarious consequences” because they are being evicted for being too lazy to work to pay the rent in their previous digs.  This act of uncharacteristic generosity by the right wing Mr Johnson is due to not being able to actually stand up to the daughter he dotes on and to the intercessions of his wife Florence – gloriously realised by the late Hilda Braid as innocent, silly, trusting and confused.  She constantly refers to Wolfie as “Foxy” and seems to believe local villain Harry Fenning’s minders are his “foster children”.  Hilda Braid is a genius at making homely-matter-of-fact-silliness sound sensible.

Robert Lindsay and Cheryl Hall were actually married during the first two series and this lends the acting extra chemistry.  Most of the plots are predictable sitcom fair but Sullivan manages one or two impressive plot twists along the way.  Highly memorable is the episode where Charlie is being made redundant from his lucrative security job and Wolfie doesn’t realise the game that’s actually being played. Underneath all this are themes of genuine love.  Charlie genuinely loves Hilda and Wolfie genuinely loves Shirley and Charlie loves his daughter too trapping them in a strange confused muddle generated by Wolfie's selfish sloth and idealism until… After two series Cheryl/Shirley has had enough and leaves as does Peter Vaughn who is recast again as Tony Steedman with zero explanation.  Why the Johnsons continue to put up with Wolfie after Shirley has emigrated is explained in a fantastic episode that introduces John Tordoff as a mentally deranged policeman called Brian Tofkin - Tordoff's character returns in another later episode to steal all the scenes again.  I don't know if all the jokes about insanity would get under the wire today but it is a stand out comedy performance ... so who cares?  Don't write in.

Pub landlord and petty criminal Harry Fenning then becomes a more central character as Wolfie works his way towards the actually rather pathetic revolution attempt at the end of series 3 via a career in petty crime.  Talking of re-castings I kept thinking to myself “I recognise Fenning from somewhere” and then the penny dropped that he’s Travis 1 from Blake’s 7 (Stephen Greif).  Greif gives a completely different performance here.  Not just a different hairstyle but different accent and hand gestures.  And he does it all without an eye patch.  Don’t know how this can be … I think it must be called acting.  It’s interesting too to see him giving a performance where he has to react to a live audience.  

The rest of Wolfie’s gang are a great ensemble cast.  Tony Millan as Tucker is the epitome of self pity.  His doleful face reappears over and over again over the years – notably in Alexei Sayle’s Stuff …perhaps the communist theme helped him get the gig.  Mike Grady does pathetic dreamer very well … one can see echoes of Barry from Last of the Summer Wine in Ken Mills.  And George Sweeney adds an edge of danger as the brutish Speed. 

After the failed revolution at the end of series 3, series 4 charts Wolfie’s final descent from prison to man on the run with a contract on his head… where else could it have gone?  Is there an implication in the final scene that Wolfie might have been rubbed out by Fenning's underworld successor...?  Or worse perhaps … he’s had to grow up?  There isn’t room in the world for Wolfie Smiths anymore…?  Or at least that’s what they told Jeremy Corbyn when they fired him…

Pear Shaped in Dystopia wasn't that bad this month...

 


Someone even liked it

Monday, 14 March 2022

The Late Mrs Merton and Malcolm

I haven’t posted on this blog for a while due to being busy with bigger things like watching television so I thought I’d review some of it.  Recently I have been watching “Mrs Merton and Malcolm” from 1999 which I found remaindered in Poundland for …well, a pound …some years ago and has been sitting on the shelf for about 5 years waiting for me to get round to watching it.  Strangely compulsive viewing it is.

A project of  Caroline Aherne, Craig Cash and Henry Normal it inhabits a strange period of time between the end of the Mrs Merton Show and the start of the Royle Family.  The sitcom itself inhabits an even stranger time period with Mrs Merton (Aherne) and her son Malcolm (Cash) living in a terrace house that appears to be simultaneously in both the 1960s and the 1990s.  Malcolm is a bit simple and has never grown up, is introverted and works in a pet shop (unseen).  Most of the episodes take place in Mrs Merton’s house.   The episodes follow a day in their life which is interspersed with a visit from the elderly Arthur Capstick (Brian Murphy) who has a “dodgy ticker” and comes round to see his friend Mr Merton – a never fully seen lump in a double bed upstairs who eventually dies.  Each week Arthur brings him an antiquated sweet of some kind (like pear drops or Victory Vs) and sings him a pop song acapella.  Arthur remembers next to nothing and has no meaningful conversation - his catchphrase being "I don't know, eh?" 

Remarkably for a show about “nothing” with no studio audience the plots can become quite compelling.  Possibly the strongest episode is the one where Malcolm and a young and child called Justin (who they have to look after for the day as his pregnant mother is in hospital) become engaged in a games contest.  Justin is a truly odious brat who has appeared on Junior Masterchef in the Lloyd Grossman era… the battle to find a game simple enough that Malcolm can win at is truly glorious.  

Second to this is the episode where Malcolm asks the seemingly equally shy Judith (Ursula Holden Gill) from the chemist out on date.  Mrs Merton appears to encourage him in this but there’s an undertone that she’s not really that enthusiastic – or perhaps they’re both socially inept?  Critics read incest into the relationship which Aherne and Cash denied.  Of course an over bonded relationship with a mother and a distant relationship with a father is a classic scenario as in many serial killer's childhood relationships... but then Malcolm's father is so incapacitated we don't know what... That aside... Possibly more sinister is the implication in several episodes that Mrs Merton is murdering her husband (or slowly euthanizing him by neglect) implied in lines such as “Oh, don’t bother.  He’ll have to learn to [use the oxygen machine] on his own or he won’t learn.”  This is made even more sinister by the seemingly upbeat nature of many of the episodes – the enthusiasm Malcolm has about his birthday party is strangely infectious.  Until Mrs Merton says something like “Nobody but you, Arthur.  Just like last year.”   

In one surreal episode Mrs Merton’s red-haired Scottish sister comes to stay – how they grew up as sisters with different nationalities and accents remains gloriously unexplained.   Despite the fact the house appears to be stuck in the 50s and 60s all the TV and Radio programs seem to be from the (then) present day.  Unlike like kitchen of Mrs Brown in "Mrs Brown's Boys" which is stylistically set in 80s aspic ....

...Mrs Merton's kitchen is actually very modern (for the period) with expensive inbuilt handles.... Sorry for this odd tangent but that's the trouble with selling furniture one becomes obsessed with set design...


... anyway the point is...  Unlike, for example, Ronnie Corbett's "Sorry" ...it's the attitudes but strangely not the sets that are old fashioned.  And the aspirations.  Or lack of them.  

"Can I be an airline pilot, mam?" 

"No, Malcolm."

To save the show which is just people in a house most of the time becoming too sedentary in most episodes Mrs Merton and Malcolm have a choreographed dance number while listening to the wireless – these dance satires cover Riverdance, Hey Macarena and even Glen Miller's Pennsylvania 6-5000... which is a very neat why of raising the tempo...

I don’t think it’s too big a spoiler to reveal that series ends with the long awaited death of the terminally ill Mr Merton whose apparel Mrs Merton disperses to Arthur and the local vicar (Steve Coogan with big teeth) with inappropriately generous glee.  Possibly one of the reasons the series was not re-commissioned and an upcoming Christmas special was canned.  Dark stuff.

Very strange it is.  Riding high on the success of the Mrs Merton Show one wonders if Cash and Aherne thought that anything they put Mrs Merton in afterwards would probably be commissioned and decided to see what they could get away with… a world of trifle, spam, pass the parcel and Mrs Merton and Malcolm repeating phrases that one can imagine have been lifted straight from their own childhoods and yet...  It is in many ways a Peter Pan like story of a man who never grew up trying to remain a child for ever … or an exploration of what it would be like if a man stayed a child? … or something …? and like J. M. Barrie’s parable  actually very sinister underneath the jollity.

But one can see how the Royle Family evolved from this… of course it’s made ever more sad now when one ponders on the fact that the troubled Caroline Aherne who spent so much time dressing old as Mrs Merton never actually became an old lady herself – dying tragically young of cancer aged only 52…

Craig Cash is now the voice of Gogglebox...

Tuesday, 8 February 2022

Dear Kumon...

 Experience the benefits of Kumon today!


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Book your one-week Free Trial now and get a glimpse of how Kumon could help develop your child's abilities for the future.


Dear Kumon

Please stop spamming me. 

I don't have any children

With childhoods for you to ruin

Thanks 

Anthony

Thursday, 27 January 2022

How sad


 Membership Number: 10511


Dear Anthony,


Firstly, I am Gerald Stein the newly elected Outreach Director for the PESGB.


I am writing to all of the special interest group members on a very important issue.


As a charity the PESGB has a governing document stating what we can and can’t do. A summary of this is the Charitable Objects and it says we ‘promote for the public benefit, education in the scientific and technical aspects of petroleum exploration’.


This can be very limiting. When the office team call up about booking venues they get an immediate NO, as people do not want anything to do with petroleum!


Universities that have received grants and bursaries for students from PESGB in the past have asked to cut contact, as their students do not want their university involved with an organisation with petroleum in the name.  However misguided you feel this approach is, it does limit what the a society can do and by broadening the charitable objects and changing the name, this will allow PESGB to carry on the conversation with these institutions.


To make the change we have to pass two separate resolutions to satisfy the Charity Commission, the first is to change the charitable objects, followed by changing the name. 


The vote will open on the 7th Feb.


To pass this special resolution that will change the PESGB’s charitable objects, we must secure a majority of 75% of the membership vote in favour of the change. Although this has been achieved in the indicative vote, we must inform you that only 6% of the membership took part in the vote. We need to increase the number of members voting so that we can be reassured that this is what our members really want.


Please vote on this crucial issue!


Kind regards,


Dr. Gerald Stein

Chair - Machine Learning SIG

Thank you for your inattention to this matter...

If anyone's still in doubt about the ramifications of the Andy Burnham situation let me spell it out for you.   There are 400 Labour MPs...

Least ignored nonsense this month...