Tuesday, 3 September 2024
The Extreme Torture of buying a ticket for the Vue Cinema
As it was half price day I bought a ticket for the VUE cinema. Boy is it painful now. First you book on line and then it generates one of those QR codes that is meant to hold all information in some bizarre pattern of blobby squares. You then go the cinema are greeted by a wall of touch screens which a lady directs you to to purchase popcorn etc. Because, of course, simply handing the money over to a person was too simple. The touchscreen menu is the stuff of nightmares leading one round and round in circles while the computer makes heroic, annoying and hopeless attempts to hard upsell you more food. I suppose they need a computer to do this because it's quite hard to train humans to be that rude. It's sort of like being sold food by the Daleks. The lady by the screens promptly dematerialises in case you break free of the time loop. You then get a further piece of paper dispensed by the machine which you must take to the counter to get your popcorn and go to the entrance desk where another lady informs you that although you have a QR code she cannot decipher it but need tickets. So you go back to the popcorn desk and ask yet another lady to print the tickets out who says "I can do this but you don't need me to do it but I can do it" as if I've asked her to come up with a complicated machine learning algorithm and not just scan a QR code that automatically prints two tickets for her. You then take these tickets which tell you where to sit to lady number 4. If you can get through all that the new recliner seats are a very nice experience and you can put your feet up and hope you recover from the bureaucracy PTSD by the end of the film...
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