 |
| Richard Branson at the Rio Conventions Pavilion at Rio+20 c/o the United Nations Conference on Sustainable Development, 13-22 June 2012 |
Some bit part characters seem to have punctuated my life like the holes in a pianola roll.
One is Richard Branson.
I remember his Virgin Records label in the 80s and thinking that the name sounded a bit creepy. Why would a grown man want to call his label virgin? I suppose he wanted something that sounded like “we’re new in this area” but what I got images of was either some sacrilegious joke about the Virgin Mary like Neil Kinnock’s badly pitched “immaculate misconception” joke or images of an older man seeking an inappropriately young woman… like those “Fornicate with a Friendly Fresher” jokes that used to circulate around the University campuses in the 90s before “Lad Culture” had been named or discovered by 3rd, 4th or 5th wave feminism…
I had a more substantial run-in with Mr Branson during a
summer of unemployment between University terms when I applied for a job at one
of his wholesale companies packaging records for retailers that I had
discovered via a card in the Job Centre.
The company existed in a shiny office/warehouse with an atrium in a
neglected industrial estate down a branch line from Purley that was a bit of a
painful commute. They specialised in
what I can only describe politely as low profit CDs. Although they had some innovative products.
In the era before podcasts they had cornered the market in interviewing then
popular bands such as Oasis, burning the interviews to CDs and selling them for
a pittance. After showing me a room full
of people putting records and CDs into boxes and not muddling up the labels the
manager took me to a room upstairs where he questioned me closely on whether I
too had the skills necessary to put CDs and records into boxes. He was quite a cheery soul who said things
like “as you know we’re one of Richard’s babies” but perhaps because of the
long commute or perhaps because of the pitiful remuneration on offer – I can’t
say if it was below the living wage because in those days John Major was still
dismissing a NMW as an extravagance that should surely bankrupt all of British
Industry – I didn’t display the enthusiasm necessary to clinch the deal…
Later I travelled to Barbados quite a bit with Ava Alexis on
Richard’s Virgin Airways. It was
generally efficient and affordable but Richard over-reached himself when he
decided to throw Travel Insurance into the bargain. Virgin Holidays assured me multiple times
over that the insurance documents would arrive before we got on the plane …even
telling me that they would “be there when I picked up my ticket”. They weren’t so we went on holiday with no
travel insurance. Even though I got back
the money by complaining to the FCA it didn’t make up for the worry of being bankrupted
should we have an accident. On the plus
side Richard’s Virgin Holidays company had an office on the island and it was
much fun physically turning up there to cross question his lying staff as to
what had happened to the insurance documents and watching them twist and turn and…
For a long time since the early 2000s I was with Virgin
Mobile. Why? Because they were there and I couldn’t be
bothered to move when moving involved changing your number or tonnes of
administration. One gets the impression
ringing Virgin Mobile today that they are very much a backwater of Richard’s
empire which is now busy exploring space but not so hot on earthly
pursuits. I say this because the other
day my phone stopped working so I rang Virgin Mobile up to ask why. They replied that they didn’t know but
thought it was either a problem with my phone or the network. So I spent several hours going through technical
tests with them. I even took the numbers
off my phone which now involves installing software on your computer because
the numbers aren’t on the sim anymore and completely reinstalled the phone
operating system. They still couldn’t
find the problem so they put me through to a network engineer who promised to
resolve the problem within 24 hours and ring me back. He did not.
So I rang Virgin again … it seemed odd to me that ringing Virgin worked
but ringing no one else did which suggested the problem was actually
Virgin. Indeed, it suddenly was…. As the
man who answered suddenly told me that the reason my phone had stopped working
was that I had gone over my minutes and I now owed Richard £158. You would think that if you went over your
minutes that much then the phone would just stop working or you would at least receive
a warning text but no…. Nada. This
seeming a lot of money I inspected the bill which exports to an excel
spreadsheet and found that if you add up the number of minutes used I have
exceeded my allowance but only by about £50 before the phone shut off… which
would seem to make more sense…
However, between messing about with network engineers and
wondering whether the company’s turnover comes largely from cynically caning
those who go over their allowances I came to the conclusion that it is time for
Richard and I to part ways again. So I
paid him his £158 because if I don’t he’ll know doubt immediately send the bill
to debt collection and get the Credit Agency Mafia to ruin my credit ratings… as I suspect Dr Yes will become Dr No while his employees and their ever crashing computers remain Don't Know MSCs and…
To Virgin Media, Sunderland, SR43 4AA
Dear Virgin Mobile,
Thank you for your letter 17/08/21 re complaint C-1208211592. I regret to inform you that your calculation
of my latest bill is incorrect. Downloading
the data in CSV form I get the following calculations for my minutes. It takes some auto-filtering in Excel to
extract this information as you bundles together all internet, call and text
services in one amorphous table but here it is…
|
Date |
Type |
Number |
In Tariff |
Used |
Minutes |
Seconds |
MS |
Cost |
Min+Sec |
Minnutes Cumulative |
|
11/07/2021 13 |
2.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
13.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.22 |
0.22 |
|
11/07/2021 13 |
59.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
0.23 |
|
12/07/2021 13 |
30.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
0.25 |
|
13/07/2021 15 |
6.00 |
Call to another network |
# |
Yes |
|
2.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.03 |
0.28 |
|
13/07/2021 15 |
22.00 |
Call to another network |
# |
Yes |
|
2.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.03 |
0.32 |
|
13/07/2021 18 |
40.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
0.33 |
|
13/07/2021 18 |
45.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
80.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
80.00 |
80.33 |
|
13/07/2021 20 |
20.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
14.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.23 |
80.57 |
|
13/07/2021 20 |
44.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
80.58 |
|
13/07/2021 20 |
44.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
80.60 |
|
13/07/2021 21 |
10.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
80.62 |
|
14/07/2021 12 |
28.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
33.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
33.00 |
113.62 |
|
14/07/2021 18 |
27.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
2.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.03 |
113.65 |
|
14/07/2021 20 |
13.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
3.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.05 |
113.70 |
|
14/07/2021 21 |
16.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
2.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.03 |
113.73 |
|
14/07/2021 22 |
1.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
7.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.12 |
113.85 |
|
15/07/2021 17 |
35.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
48.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
48.00 |
161.85 |
|
17/07/2021 13 |
45.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
161.87 |
|
17/07/2021 13 |
50.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
161.88 |
|
17/07/2021 14 |
25.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
34.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
34.00 |
195.88 |
|
17/07/2021 15 |
59.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
53.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
53.00 |
248.88 |
|
17/07/2021 17 |
25.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
3.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.05 |
248.93 |
|
17/07/2021 19 |
2.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
248.95 |
|
17/07/2021 19 |
10.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
248.97 |
|
17/07/2021 19 |
18.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
248.98 |
|
17/07/2021 19 |
22.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
249.00 |
|
17/07/2021 19 |
27.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
249.02 |
|
17/07/2021 19 |
41.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
249.03 |
|
17/07/2021 19 |
44.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
249.05 |
|
17/07/2021 19 |
50.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
249.07 |
|
17/07/2021 20 |
0.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
249.08 |
|
17/07/2021 20 |
9.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
249.10 |
|
17/07/2021 23 |
24.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
249.12 |
|
17/07/2021 23 |
25.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
249.13 |
|
17/07/2021 23 |
25.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
249.15 |
|
17/07/2021 23 |
28.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
249.17 |
|
18/07/2021 13 |
14.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
249.18 |
|
18/07/2021 13 |
32.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
24.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
24.00 |
273.18 |
|
18/07/2021 14 |
6.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
273.20 |
|
18/07/2021 14 |
7.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
63.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
63.00 |
336.20 |
|
18/07/2021 15 |
18.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
51.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
51.00 |
387.20 |
|
19/07/2021 15 |
40.00 |
Call to another network |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
387.22 |
|
19/07/2021 19 |
19.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
387.23 |
|
19/07/2021 19 |
58.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
10.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.17 |
387.40 |
|
19/07/2021 21 |
0.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
12.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.20 |
387.60 |
|
20/07/2021 18 |
20.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
44.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
44.00 |
431.60 |
|
21/07/2021 16 |
38.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
##### |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
106.00 |
537.60 |
|
21/07/2021 19 |
15.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
19.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.32 |
537.92 |
|
21/07/2021 21 |
24.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
537.93 |
|
21/07/2021 22 |
12.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
537.95 |
|
22/07/2021 13 |
6.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
51.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
51.00 |
588.95 |
|
22/07/2021 19 |
43.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
588.97 |
|
22/07/2021 19 |
52.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
588.98 |
|
22/07/2021 19 |
52.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
73.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
73.00 |
661.98 |
|
24/07/2021 15 |
6.00 |
Call to another network |
# |
Yes |
|
6.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.10 |
662.08 |
|
24/07/2021 19 |
24.00 |
Call to another network |
# |
Yes |
|
2.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.03 |
662.12 |
|
26/07/2021 13 |
21.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
662.13 |
|
26/07/2021 17 |
21.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
662.15 |
|
26/07/2021 21 |
27.00 |
Call to another network |
# |
Yes |
69.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
69.00 |
731.15 |
|
28/07/2021 12 |
55.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
23.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.38 |
731.53 |
|
28/07/2021 13 |
48.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
46.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
46.00 |
777.53 |
|
29/07/2021 18 |
17.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
777.55 |
|
29/07/2021 19 |
43.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
##### |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
120.00 |
897.55 |
|
29/07/2021 21 |
43.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
30.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
30.00 |
927.55 |
|
29/07/2021 22 |
19.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
65.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
65.00 |
992.55 |
|
30/07/2021 18 |
15.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
992.57 |
|
30/07/2021 22 |
0.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
992.58 |
|
30/07/2021 22 |
5.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
35.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
35.00 |
1027.58 |
|
31/07/2021 17 |
37.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.02 |
1027.60 |
|
31/07/2021 17 |
46.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
##### |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
120.00 |
1147.60 |
|
31/07/2021 19 |
47.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
44.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
44.00 |
1191.60 |
|
31/07/2021 21 |
50.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
16.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.27 |
1191.87 |
|
01/08/2021 13 |
5.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
|
6.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.10 |
1191.97 |
|
01/08/2021 16 |
8.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
24.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
24.00 |
1215.97 |
|
01/08/2021 16 |
38.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Yes |
88.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
88.00 |
1303.97 |
|
01/08/2021 21 |
39.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Partial |
24.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
7.54 |
24.00 |
1327.97 |
|
02/08/2021 13 |
27.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Exceeded |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.58 |
0.02 |
1327.98 |
|
02/08/2021 22 |
11.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Exceeded |
|
5.00 |
0.00 |
2.90 |
0.08 |
1328.07 |
|
02/08/2021 22 |
16.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Exceeded |
43.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
24.94 |
43.00 |
1371.07 |
|
03/08/2021 17 |
28.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Exceeded |
47.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
27.26 |
47.00 |
1418.07 |
|
03/08/2021 19 |
3.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Exceeded |
30.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
17.40 |
30.00 |
1448.07 |
|
03/08/2021 19 |
57.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Exceeded |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.58 |
0.02 |
1448.08 |
|
03/08/2021 20 |
5.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Exceeded |
40.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
23.20 |
40.00 |
1488.08 |
|
04/08/2021 12 |
41.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Exceeded |
|
2.00 |
0.00 |
1.16 |
0.03 |
1488.12 |
|
04/08/2021 17 |
5.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Exceeded |
|
3.00 |
0.00 |
1.74 |
0.05 |
1488.17 |
|
04/08/2021 17 |
7.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Exceeded |
|
3.00 |
0.00 |
1.74 |
0.05 |
1488.22 |
|
04/08/2021 17 |
11.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Exceeded |
|
1.00 |
0.00 |
0.58 |
0.02 |
1488.23 |
|
04/08/2021 20 |
59.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Exceeded |
24.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
13.92 |
24.00 |
1512.23 |
|
04/08/2021 21 |
37.00 |
Call to a Virgin Mobile |
# |
Exceeded |
45.00 |
0.00 |
0.00 |
26.10 |
45.00 |
1557.23 |
As you can see, although the column Used reads exceeded from
the 02/08/2021 I haven’t actually exceeded my cumulative 1500 minutes until
04/08/2021. According to my calculation
this makes the overspend £40.02 rather than the £149.62 you are attempting to
bill me more.
I would point out too that we have no extra use agreement
and therefore you have been extending me credit without a credit agreement
which is in violation of FCA rules.
Also I have received no warning that I am exceeding my
credit limit. Neither were your
operatives able to furnish me with this simple information when I rang up –
instead insisting that there was in fact a service failure. However, I am prepared to pay you the £40.92
of extra usage and the £106.90 that you have incorrectly attempted to charge me
for a quiet life.
I would also add that this letter and our previous
conversations terminate all agreements and contracts between us and I have
moved network to a provider who can count.
In order to keep life simple I have paid the bill that in full as you
believe it to exist. However, I would be deeply grateful if you could
refund me the £106.90 you have overcharged me.
Thank you
Anthony
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