Live at the Apollo cancelled in row over light bulbs

The BBC said today that it had to cancel "Live at the Apollo" for budgetary reasons.  Apart from requiring both a camera and a stage light the "Live At the Apollo" logo contained a dazzling number of electric lightbulbs which collectively had become simply too expensive to turn on.  Some of them, according to an internal report were as bright as 600 lumen each.  With twenty such bulbs deployed to illuminate just one "O" the BBC was paying thousands in electricity costs which were not justifyable when plumper stand-up stars like Gary Delaney could obscure as much as half a letter at a time.  Combined with the cost of living crisis and oil and electricity spikes created by Donald Trump's war in Iran and falling licence fee revenues something had to give.

"Look we're not Youtube," said a BBC spokesperson.  "We don't have just endless money with which to illuminate light bulbs.  You can't just point a camera at someone funny and expect the result to hilarity, mirth or amusement.  Producing comedy is much more complicated than that.  It requires at the very least the installation of a Smart Meter so the killawatt hours can be carefully budgeted for.

Sources say the BBC is working on a new format "Live at the Asclepius".  As befits the God of the art of medicine it will be filmed entirely on the Casualty set to save on lighting and production costs and merged with other cancelled shows such as Doctor Who, Blankety Blank and Celebrity Mastermind to produce something completely different.