Stones of Blood

The Seeds of Rhinoplasty

Due to them wearing out and my VHS player being increasingly hard to service (it's a beautiful piece of engineering inside), I invested a great deal of £s in updating my Doctor Who VHS collection to DVD.  That's it I thought.  A good investment.  After all VHS had only half the picture quality of DVD which can faithfully reproduce all 625 lines on an old cathode ray tube but slightly flatter. But blow-me-down-with-an-industrial-wind-machine if the BBC didn't find a way to milk their old content further by releasing it on Blu-ray.  Well, I can't afford that at £50 a go, no matter how many extras they put on.  No disrespect to Toby Hadoke & Co but I don't want to pay their pension.  Particularly since at the same time the BBC made almost all old Dr Who free on iPlayer.  

Free FOI Use Of Public

So imagine my schadenfreude when I discovered there were problems with the Blu-rays & the BBC in an attempt to drain more money from fans had applied dodgy AI upscaling filters that give Sarah Jane a cleft palette, straighten Tom Baker's crooked teeth like they're selling unnecessary dental work, make old people look like they've had the world's worst facelifts or are filtered TikTok influencers who've had plastic surgery to make them look like their own filters ...and dyslexicly (is that a word?) rewrite the words on the TARDIS door in dodgy fonts...  

Terror of the
Zygoma reduction plasty

All because some people bought massive 92 inch TVs on which you can see the CRT lines.  Not that anyone's really crying out for AI "upscaling", it's just people inventing themselves work.  I do have the Spearhead from Space Bluray as this was entirely made on film so there is extra quality to be mined but that's it ... How much more blood can they get out of these stones...?

So three cheers for my not-so-old DVDs where everyone doesn't look like they've been replaced by an Auton.  The past is another country ... and eventually they're going to reach a point where there's no one to bring back to do DVD extras anymore because everyone will have passed on.  Which is a shame because the thing that makes "classic" Doctor Who DVDs so much fun is everyone on the commentaries etc is now retired and can be brutally honest about what they actually thought of their colleagues at the time without the fear of losing work.  

The Artificial Intelligence Invasion 

I look forward to the fully immersive holographic 2040 Whateveritisthen editions of "New Who" which faithfully recreate an old Cathode Ray Tube TV with glass and broadcast signal distortions being released with Christopher Eccleston telling us what he really thinks of RTD and Captain Jack's naked body eventually...

Not that anyone's really bitchy on the commentaries but you can tell the diplomacy filter is switched off in most of the contributors.  It being new content they're selling no one's going to let the side down say "Well, that was a bit pants" on a New Who commentary.  The occasionally brutal honesty is the fun really...

In other Doctor Who news the BBC are still trying to prise old film prints off miserly film collectors but are stuck in probate processes.  I upset someone on X by refering to these collectors as misers.  I do apologise.  Its very generous of them not to just be buried with their film collections like a modern day Tutankhamun.  Let's not get into the ethics of whether these prints should have been returned to BBC Enterprises to be destroyed.  We know for a fact that when Peter Cook contemporaneously offered to store the old copies of "Not Only... but Also" to save them from landfill, the BBC refused on policy grounds and destroyed them anyway.  They're all out there somewhere, dumpster divers!  According to the unreliable narrator that is Ian Levine when he walked into BBC Enterprises on behalf of JNT all 7 positives and all 7 negatives of "The Daleks" were sitting on a table marked "to be junked" because they didn't understand that the main archive had been purged as ruthlessly as one of Stalin's Politburos...

But anyway... the BBC have generously promised to broadcast a new episode in December 2026 after the Disney deal finally fell apart ... and before Christmas they'll be releasing the War Between Land And Sea spin-off that nobody asked for but ... Let's keep an open mind...  Apparently post production takes almost a year these days... With the result that everyone thought "The Interstellar Song Contest" was a comment on the War in Gaza despite the script being written before it started.  Maybe there's something to be said for leaving a few bloopers in and doing it stupidly quickly on a shoestring...

Dukes of Hazzard...

... is the Palace's new descriptor for Andrew and Harry.  Well, no one made Harry write a tell-all autobiography.  But similarly, no one made Andrew, Fergie, Beatrice or Eugenie go round Epstein's house after he had been convicted.  They were all grown arse responsible adults visiting a known sex trafficer, probably because Andrew & Fergie owed him money.  

I don't think there's a spin doctor in Christendom that can polish a turd that large.  No wonder that Prince Charles is praying with Pope Leo.  They need God's help ...because only a miracle will get them out of this hole.  And probably not even one of those ... which I doubt our Father in heaven is in a hurry to perform...

The BBC's struggle to "both sides" an illegal war of aggression against Iran

Reference CAS-8130880-D8Y3R8

 

Dear Mr Miller,

Many thanks for following up your comments about Panorama: Trump, Israel and the War on Iran. 

We're sorry you had to come back to us and can appreciate why. We always aim to address the specific points raised by our audience and regret any cases where we’ve failed to do this. The previous reply didn’t tackle the precise points you raised, and we’d like to offer you a new response here. The following should now be considered your first reply. 

You make the point about the legality of the Israel-Iran war. However, it’s not for the BBC to make a judgement about whether a war is or is not illegal. That is a decision for the courts. Our role is to give the audience the relevant information to make up their own minds. The programme reflected contrasting views on the validity of the war - we heard from representatives of Iran and Israel - so viewers could make this decision for themselves. 

We understand you were unhappy with the way the interviews with Ohad Tal and Tzipura Hotovely were conducted. Mr Tal and Ms Hotovely were allowed to speak uninterrupted; this wasn’t because we wanted to promote either of these perspectives, but simply the style of interview which we thought was most appropriate to the programme. It was also consistent with others who were interviewed for it, such as Seyed Ali Mousavi, who was putting forward the Iranian perspective. The programme aimed to give a balanced overview and presented opposing views so the audience could draw their own conclusions. We understand you disagree with the way the information was presented, but we’re happy these were appropriate and duly impartial interviews. 

We also understand you are concerned that conflict between Syria and Israel was not explored in the programme. The programme was focused on the war between Iran and Israel. Time constraints in a thirty-minute programme mean it’s not possible to include all the background information about relations between Israel and all its neighbours. Decisions about what to cover are a matter of editorial discretion for programme makers, and we’re happy the decision here was appropriate, and would not have misled the audience as to the nature of the Israel-Iran war. 

You also expressed concerns that there is no section on the BBC’s website covering Israel-Syria relations. While we’ve reflected the ongoing tensions between the two countries in our coverage, and have explored their relationship, we don’t think it’s necessary at this point to have a specific section on our website addressing this. We will of course keep this under review and pass on your comments to the relevant senior managers who look after the BBC website. 

For the reasons we’ve set out in this response, we’re happy this programme was duly impartial and accurate. We’re grateful for your feedback on it, which has been passed to the Panorama editorial team – we hope this response helps explain our position.

If you’d like to understand how your complaint is handled at the BBC, you might find it helpful to watch  the short film on the BBC Complaints website about how the BBC responds to your feedback.  It explains the BBC’s process for responding to complaints, what to do if you aren’t happy with your response and how we share the feedback we receive.

Thanks again for getting in touch.

Kind regards,

BBC Complaints Team 

www.bbc.co.uk/complaints 

 

Please note: this email is sent from an unmonitored address so please don’t reply. If necessary please contact us through our webform (please include your case reference number).

Welcome to Britain and Destitution

 

Last night I watched Panorama on Asylum Hotels.  Perhaps one of the reasons people feel so strongly about this issue is they feel the hotels provide a safety net which isn't there for the rest of society as since asylum seekers were banned from seeking work (by Tony Blair under the 2002 Nationality, Immigration and Asylum Act) the government has a responsibility to house them as they can't possibly fend for themselves.  In 2005 Tony tightened the rules again so that only after waiting 12 months for a decision could an asylum seeker apply for permission to work. And thus the "asylum hotel" was born... In 2010, an additional caveat was added restricting this to undertaking work specified on the government’s shortage occupation list. The list specifies particular professional roles that asylum seekers may apply to work in, such as radioactive waste management, sonograp, visual effects animation, or skilled classical ballet dancers who meet international standards.  That should keep them on their toes.  Unable to work because politicians decided it caused too much resentment and unable to not work because their hotels are picketed by Farage's friends, these people would probably be better off taking their chances in Iraq or Syria...? but it's too late now ...

Unfortunately, most of the asylum seekers in the documentary were not skilled classical ballet dancers who meet international standards, had remedial or non-existent English and after successfully navigating the channel in a dingy and Home Office beaurocracy to claim their precious indefinite leave to remain discovered that, of course, their local authorities had no automatic responsibility to find them Council accomodation and couldn't find them private rental accomodation either and, of course , under new rules they can't bring their family over either which was one reason many had chosen Britain over, say, Germany which still absorbs the majority... With the result that in 56 days they were turfed out their hotels onto pavements to sleep rough making it even harder to find a job and locking them into the homelessness trap.  You really have to wonder why on earth people come here. A minor civil servant described helping people through the cycle of grief this caused: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance of a cardboard box to sleep in.  Imagine imagining there's a safety net.  Still, welcome to Britain ... You're now one of us with an inalienable right to destitution.  Surely not even the workhouse was as cruel as this system?

I watched a bit of the Dennis Neilson documentary too which seemed to follow similar themes somehow ...with it's stories of young unskilled men who came to London to discover that the Councils had no real responsibility to house them and their future was sleeping in cardboard city, becoming rent boys or being picked up and murdered by the man behind the counter in the local Job Centre.  Only 6 or 7 of Neilson's victims were ever identified.... The rest... Apart from the Bullring cardboard city being turned into an IMAX cinema, we really seem to have gone nowhere as a society.

Dot Cotton Corner - Zionism & God's promises to Abraham

A lot of Zionists on Twitter have been telling me recently that if I don't believe God gave Israel to the Jews for all time then I do not believe in God's promises and cannot call myself a Christian.  Actually I don't call myself a Christian but it's worth considering what the New Testament actually says on this issue and an explanation for what happens to God's promise after the birth of Christ is given explicitly by the Apostle Paul.  "The promises were spoken to Abraham and to his seed. Scripture [Genesis 22:18] does not say "and to seeds," meaning many people, but "and to your seed," meaning one person, who is Christ... There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise" Galatians 3:16

Christianity officially split from Judeism at the Council of Jerusalem when Paul junked circumcision and the dietary laws as bad box office.  This meeting is recalled in Chapter 15 of the Acts of the Apostles.

The word of the Lord.

Thanks be to God.

Speed Awareness

Well, I went on the Speed Awareness course.  It was somewhat improved from the running traffic lights course I went on some years ago in that it was online rather than 50 of us having to drive to a rundown hotel in Streatham.  The lecture was somewhat shorter this time running at normal Hollywood 3 hours 15 minutes length rather than the previous David Lean roadshow presentation length of 4 hours 15 (see here).  Perhaps the audience response to the last one I attended had resulted in a reworking of the format and it had been adjusted after previews.  Or perhaps like a multiplex cinema distributor someone had worked out that if you stick to the 3 hour format you can maximise the number of showings in a day.  

Certainly someone had thought about how to milk the format financially as there were different prices for the course depending on how much flexibility you wanted on moving the date which seemed exceptionally cynical since the service presumably costs the same whenever it is delivered.

As usual the format was presented by a man and a woman.  The Jill Dando of the team asked me how it would affect my life if I lost my driving licence.  To which I replied "That's none of your business, is it?".  The audience seemed to find this quite amusing.  Don't know why.  I suppose because it's an appeal to fear and as a psychopath that's just not an emotion I have often.

The usual suspects were all present and correct including this time the addition of a refugee from Iraq who's English was only slightly better than Manuel in Fawlty Towers.  The Nick Ross of the presenting team was very patient though as he struggled through a thesaurus of words to find ones the Iraqi immigrant could understand.  He was okay with functional pedestrian phrases but he had more difficulty with words that related to abstract nouns or concepts which I found interesting as I'd previously not thought about how we learn language in that way.  I kept thinking of the useless Latin nouns that Mr Johnson would teach us like laid waste (vastatus).  Perhaps if there wasn't so much vastatio going on in the middle east, he wouldn't have needed to come here and be stopped for speeding on his moped.  I couldn't imagine him driving a car but perhaps I am stereotyping... I started to wonder if Iraqi driving licences were valid in the UK.  Then I started to wonder if Dr Ashti Hawrami had done a UK driving test when I worked for him...  Then my mind went off on all kinds of other tangents as like Stan Laurel I amused myself "lobby watching"...

A lady kept complaining about trying to drive at the speed limit and being constantly overtaken by other drivers to which the Nick Ross of the outfit said "whatever the speed limit is, you must drive at that".  Perhaps, but it's quite difficult if no one's going to be enforcing it.  I've taken literally no notice of the Lambeth/Southwark blanket 20mph speed limit since it was brought in because it simply wasn't enforced.  We were told at some point 20mph limits were going to be self enforcing but clearly there were few  volunteers for being continually bored to death all the time so a realistic deterrent has been finally introduced.  Nick Ross asked us if the few minutes we'd saved were worth the 3 hours of the course.  Well, since the law hasn't been enforced for at least 5 years my cost quality time triangle says yes.  I've saved well over 3 hours so am still on top...

There was a lot of stuff about stopping distances which I found odd as surely the fact energy is related to velocity squared is a more convincing argument for not speeding.  At one point I was asked how many car lengths I drove behind a car going at 40mph to which I replied "I don't know.  I use the 2 second gap".  For some reason though although it is still valid and works the two second gap was judged too complicated for the punters to understand...

Eventually Nick Ross told us we could avoid speeding by better planning our time.  For instance by giving people time windows instead of actual times of arrival.  For example "I'll be there between 7:30 and 8pm" rather than "8pm".  Given time is money Im not sure this is the best strategy but I suppose it conveniently front loads costs off the state and on to everyone else.  Then again perhaps comedians could introduce a policy of being deliberately late for gigs in order to drive up expectations, like Hitler always being late for political rallies on Joseph Goebbels's advice.  I mean, it was a bit brass neck to talk about time flexibility given the course itself had zero time flexibility for rescheduling unless, of course, you paid extra for it upfront in cash.  It didn't surprise me that many of the participants had jobs that involved driving like Estate Agents driving between properties or builders.

Finally there was time for Nick Ross to tell us that if we shared any recording of the meeting our passes would be automatically voided.  So I hasten to conclude this piece by stating that it is a work of fiction and any similarities between any persons living or dead is completely coincidental.

Of course it would be nice to think that doling out fines for driving at (allegedly) 24mph was all about safety but on the Mayor of London's website Sir Khan tells us explicitly that it is in fact a social engineering policy aimed at stopping the majority of people driving at all : "Our Transport Strategy sets out a big, bold aim for 80 per cent of all journeys in London to be made by walking, cycling or using public transport by 2041.". Yes peak oil and net zero are here, and right here's where us plebs start paying.  I expect I'll be being fined for driving at 14mph by 2041 ... If private cars haven't been replaced entirely by electric ElonAIcabs by then ...

Apparently these days you need to film burglars in VistaVision...

Hello Mr Miller

I am sending you this E-Mail to inform you that your report of theft of stand pipe on the 23rd of May has been sent for closure. Your statement has been added to the crime report as has the CCTV that has been provided.

My sergeant has reviewed the footage and does not believe it is suitable for upload to our forensic image management system and unfortunately, that means there are no further lines of enquiry to follow.

Should any further lines of enquiry come to light, this report can be re-opened and progressed accordingly.

Kind Regards,

PC Christopher 

Volume Crime Team, Bromley

I have just been fined for breaking Britain's lowest speed limit by the new lowest threshold....

Rod King of the alliteratively depressing
Twenty's Plenty campaign to make everyone
drive at depressingly slow speeds.

Being a very naughty person I have been sent a Notice of Intended Prosecution by the Metropolitan Police for driving along the Camberwell Road at 24 mph instead of 20 at 6:45am which is about the only time of day you can reach such highly irresponsible speeds there ... There is a new camera at the junction... Apparently Mr Khan has changed the threshold for prosecution from 25 to 24 mph in pursuit if his Vision Zero where nobody will die on the roads (3 people have died at this junction in the past 25 years).  In order to achieve this he intends that 80% of journeys should be made on foot, by bike or by train, tram or bus.  One wonders if this were ever achieved what would be the impact on Britain's £22bn car industry.  

Anyway... I expect I shall be invited to attend a speed awareness course which I will probably skip in favour of the fine as four hours listening to heavily biased propaganda promoted by full time killjoys is less valuable than my time.  It's easier to simply memorise where the cameras are ...

When 20 zones were introduced we were told TFL main roads were exempt.  Then we were told 20 zones would be self enforcing ...clearly they're not and fines need to be issued because no one is actually stupid enough to voluntarily drive at 20 mph on a duel carriageway.  So now Southwark and Lambeth are filled to the brim with cameras and camera cars intended to stop the plebs travelling by car into the city centre in order to achieve our net zero targets and reduce road casualties to a fanatical and surely unachievable target of zero deaths.  

I mean surely there's likely to be at least one death if only by accident?  Can you really prevent all accidents even if you could eliminate all private cars?  7 people died in the New Addington Tram Crash and the Glória funicular crash killed 17 people.  Transport deaths have always been a thing since horse drawn transport... 

That said the death stats have improved remarkably in the past few years due to simple measures like changing the traffic flow at the five way junction round the Bank of England. 

Anyway, I tried joining a protest group against this puritanism once but the Association of British Drivers banned me from their twitter feed whilst other protest groups are flooded by anti-immigration campaigners, racists, nutters, global warming flat earthers and ULEZ camera vandals and seem to lose sight of any single issue to a sense of generally fermenting rage at all and sundry.  I often wonder why I vote for the left when they seem to constantly come up with policies designed to make my life miserable.  No doubt others ...

One also has to wonder whether in the long term Khan's salami tactics against motorists will work.  Jamaica road is a literal assault course which would be fine but people still live on it and the roads and estates are still full of cars which look as though they're going nowhere... Maybe AI driven cars will prevent collisions... Hummm... 

Touch wood the only collision I've had in the last ten years is a cyclist crashing into my boot because he was tailgating and doesn't have power assisted breaks.  The dent is still there because he didn't have a numberplate so I couldn't make an insurance claim against him...

Going Straight...

Due to the wonders of the BBC Ronnie Barker box set given to me by Ava Alexis I finally got around to watching Porridge and Going Straight again… Tom Baker once said that television is mostly the living watching the dead now and that’s certainly how I felt re-watching it… I think Tony Osoba  (78) is one of  the few surviving main cast members still with us.  I remember the late Sam Kelly who died of cancer at 70 remarking that the residuals from the box sets were rather minimal when he was still with us… 

I’ve seen Porridge loads of times of course but often out of order.  Watching it in order gives a different perspective… for example, it’s obvious that Ken Jones as Bernard "Horrible" Ives was originally set up to be one of the main antagonists but for some reason this doesn’t quite work out.  Perhaps because it’s never entirely clear what Fletcher has against him apart from him being untrustworthy …which is something that could be said for many of the inmates…  somehow they don’t pull this relationship off and in some episodes Fletcher’s attitude to him borders on bullying.  

Things really kick off when Fletcher and Godber share a cell which doesn’t actually start to happen regularly until half way into the first series.  There are so many great actors giving great performances in Porridge it’d take too long to analyse them all but of the secondary characters Fulton Mackay as Mr Mackay and Brian Wilde as Mr Barrowclough are the surely most memorable in my view alongside Peter Vaughan as "Genial" Harry Grout who although he is only seen in three episodes and the film (made after the series had ended) drives many of the plots as an unseen character.  Brian Wilde as the perpetually timid, manipulated and henpecked Mr Barrowclough is my favourite - particularly in the pilot where he and Fletcher end up marooned in an empty house on the moors together after the prison van breaks down because Fletcher has urinated in the petrol tank.

Due to the authorities not allowing filming in a real prison the amazingly believable prison interiors were largely shot at Ealing studios in a set made around disused water tank for underwater filming.  Clement and La Frenais used “How to Survive in the Nick” by Jonathan Marshall as reference for lots of the technical details of prison life.  Although there’s no cohesive “season arcs” as there would be nowadays there is a sense of a continuing narrative and there are some memorable recurring characters some of which evolve over multiple episodes.  Particularly David Jason heavily made up as older inmate Blanco Webb (odd to look at now he’s the same age as Blanco) and always-good-value Maurice Denham as the Honourable Mr Justice Stephen Rawley who put Fletcher inside now himself facing corruption charges.

Included on the DVD is a vintage documentary where a man I vaguely recognised encourages us to vote for Porridge as “Britain’s Best Sitcom”.  I recognised the presenter but couldn’t place him till the end credits which revealed him to be Johnny Vaughn (no realtion to the late Peter and who’s greatest claim to TV fame was being the host of the Big Breakfast and would have been about at the height of his fame at this time).  Of course what the audience probably wouldn’t have known then but we know now is Vaughn had previously been to prison himself for dealing cocaine for several years when he was 21… which may explain why this is favourite sitcom…  Prison certainly changed Vaughn’s view of himself.  As he told thelondonpaper.com 

“At the time I tried not to take responsibility in the sense that if the cops hadn’t set the crime up there wouldn’t have been a crime,” he says. “But if you say that, you’re a feeble-minded individual. It’s a call you have to make. ­People always talk about background, it’s part of our blame culture. Choice is a ­basic human freedom.”

Less Repeated is “Going Straight” which won BAFTA TV Award for Best Situation Comedy in March 1979.  Somewhere on the DVDs is Barker giving a moving acceptance speech praising the late Richard Beckinsale who had recently died very suddenly at only 31.  Of course Going Straight isn’t repeated as much and the general opinion on it seems to be that this is because it was a bit of a failure, but actually it scored respectable ratings.  

Part of the reason is perhaps that the situation isn’t as good.  The general format of sitcom is trap your characters in a situation from which they cannot escape – and prison is the ultimate situation from which one cannot escape.  Perhaps another part of the problem is that the episodes cannot as easily be viewed out of order.  Going Straight is a continuing narrative, starting with Barker having been released and sharing a railway carriage with Mr Mackay who has also left Slade Prison due to compulsory retirement (that was a thing then) and moving on to his readjustment to home life.  It explores other themes after that relating to Fletcher’s ambition to “go straight” such as dealing with unemployment.  Fletcher filling his days with his own DIY to alleviate the boredom reminded me of my own spells on the dole.  

Interestingly Fletcher purports never to have previously had a job of any description which underlines his famous opening monologue about his profession being breaking the law.  For some reason this made me think of Stephen Yaxley-Lennon although of course he had a job in aerospace before being shown the door when his hobby of being a football casual… sorry, don’t know why we went on that tangent.  

David Swift of “Drop the Dead Donkey” fame turns up as Mr McEwan, Fletcher’s eventual employer when he finds a dead end job as night porter at a small hotel.  The thing is that eventually when Fletcher doesn’t succumb to the lure of crime again, there’s really nowhere else for the sitcom to go anymore … it’s just going to turn into an ordinary sitcom … and what’s the point of that?  After all, it breaks the cardinal rule of sitcom – offering an escape.

Patricia Brake’s 1970s costumes are proper fashion flashback territory…

Fletcher’s final appearance is in the Mockumentary Life Beyond the Box (2003).  Unfortunately, whilst this is available on Youtube the Porridge and Going Straight flashbacks are obscured for rights reasons whilst the BBC couldn’t get the Mockumentary on the DVDs for rights reasons so you have to use your imagination to join the bits back together … but it’s worth it as there’s an enormous attention to detail to the backstories of all the original characters with Peter Vaughn, Tony Osoba  Sam Kelly, Ken Jones and Christopher Biggins and Ronnie himself all reprising their original roles and Clement and La Frenais helping to provide the words to show what has happened to them in the intervening 25 years…

Chinny rub of the week

If only Goebbels had thought of getting a former Miss Universe constant to stand in front of some crates "on their way" to some people in his camps.

Noa (Miss Israel 2021 - the year it was abolished because even Likud party members had started to wonder if it was sexist) Cochva and one of the many runners up in Miss World is often wheeled out as the face of the IDF. Sort of Gal Gadot without the talent.  I've frequently seen pictures of Noa in Gaza or with the IDF to the point where I kept thinking "Noa's a popular name for Israeli girls then" but it's only today that I put it together that they're actually all the same person.  Now I keep thinking about Noah from Noah and Nelly.  If Noa is the female of Noah, what would Nelly become if she changed sex ? Nell or Neil?  Must be Neil... Nell Gwyn was a woman...?

Apparently she was a former IDF medic.  Ideally qualified then to put sticking plasters on the genocide.  

All aboard the Skylark!

Was Ncuti Gatwa sacked from Doctor Who?

 

The short answer is no, but that's not going to put me off a clickbait title.  However, I do feel emotionally as though he has been.  

The official explanation is that the BBC is waiting on Disney to decide if it wants to invest in a "Season 3" of  BBCDisney Doctor Who. 

 Apparently Ncuti Gatwa said there was to be such a season (with him in it) when interviewed by Graham Norton but this was edited out pre-broadcast due to changing plans.  All this may be true but his regeneration at the end of the last season was an obviously clunky rewrite that was a sad end to a very enjoyable era of Doctor Who (even if according to the ratings only I and a few diehards were watching).  Ratings for the last series were to say the least dissappointing with at least two episodes dropping below the 3 million mark.  Still, it's doing better than Blue Peter which apparently after it was hived off to CBBC managed to generate some episodes that literally not one person watched (yes, really).  

Although it's not literally true that Ncuti Gatwa was sacked whenever I suggest in any way that the treatment of the first black Dr Who is not a good look for the BBC it amazes me how quickly and vociferously people jump in to correct me.  But here's the thing.  Ncuti Gatwa wasn't fired in the very public way that befell Colin Baker but  ... 

If we think of Doctor Who as a factory that produces Dr Who episodes... if that factory stops making episodes then it has effectively laid off it's workers and that includes both Russell T Davies and Ncuti Gatwa.  That, to me, is very very close to being sacked...?  But not quite.  Let's be polite and call it something else.  Being laid off?

Being laid off can be different to being sacked but it kind of feels like splitting hairs to explain the difference... A company lays someone off [it's happened to me a couple of times] when they want to continue employing them but don't actually have any work and don't want to spend any money so they say "we're not going to pay you but we still want you on our payroll" (usually because looking as though you have staff helps to get new projects in).  

The last Doctor Who to be laid off was Sylvester McCoy who was officially Doctor Who for 9 years - although since production stopped in 1989 and didn't resume until 1996 so spent 7 years working on other projects.  

Now strictly speaking McCoy was not fired from Doctor Who but since they stopped making it ... he kind of was.  It's a bit like saying Timothy Dalton wasn't fired as James Bond ... perhaps not but since the film series ceased in 1989 and didn't resume until 1995 he spent 6 years not ordering vodka martinis after which it seemed his enthusiam for the role had waned... 

Anyway, however the cookie crumbles it seems to me that Ncuti Gatwa has been, to say the least, treated rather shabbily.  Then again sacking Doctor Whos is something that has happened more times than most people care to remember.  Sometimes it's not a straight line between fired and not-fired... sometimes people resign because they kind of feel the gig is up.   That's not being fired but if , for example, we were to take Christopher Ecclestone's version of events at face value (rather than with a pinch of salt) it does sound a bit like constructive dismissal...?

So ... Jodie Whittaker's decision to leave alongside Chris Chibnall seemed a bit premature.  And William Hartnell said that he "did not willingly give up the role" although he was clearly too ill to continue...   

Tom Baker said that he offered his resignation every year (as a negotiating ploy?) and he was surprised when the management said "okay then" ... he also said that he reached a point where he felt he couldn't in all concience go on disagreeing with the management when they were the ones with the right to make decisions...  Christopher Ecclestone definitively said relationships "broke down".  Colin Baker was put on haitus once and then fired after his next series which is kind of like being fired twiceover... 

Anyway, before I end this blog I must move onto my other great heresy - Doctor Who is cancelled.  Yes, it is.  That is what it means when a show is not in production and there are no concrete plans to bring it back.  The BBC blame Disney but ultimately that's blame shifting.  Doctor Who is their property.  Where there's a will there's a way.  There doesn't appear at the moment to be much evidence of will.  I expect the licence fee money is needed for something else...

As to the last two series.  Well, I did enjoy them.  

I enjoyed Ncuti Gatwa particularly but ... whilst I see what Russell T Davies was doing with his pantheon of Gods it did seem to me that it's hard to sustain a sense of genuine threat in entirely fantasy enviroments.  

I rewatched "Genesis of the Daleks" recently and its very hard science fiction based in what has historically happened and what could happen and that makes it very scarey.  All the best horror is psychological, isn't it?  Is it?  But in the words of Ted Bovis "You've got to have reality!"  

That's my 50p.

Madam says nothing untoward or seedy went on in her brothels

A madam said today that whilst she encountered both Presidents Clinton & Trump at her establishments she "never saw anything untoward going on" at any of her brothels.  "I ran a respectable massage parlour," she told Federal officials after being moved to a low security prison.  "Everything was above board and tickety boo.  There was nothing seedy at all about what myself and Jeffrey were doing.  I was fitted up good and proper by the filth and make no mistake.  Our society simply hates entrepreneurs.  It was the same establishment persecution and libel that my father suffered from.  Nothing was his fault either and he didn't deserve to die in mysterious circumstances like Jeffrey.  I never saw Prince Andrew do anything untoward either.  Ours was a simple friendship and business relationship. There's nothing wrong with a brothel owner having a picnic in the gardens if Buckingham Palace or sitting on the Queen's throne with Kevin Spacey.  Jeffrey simply attracted these people towards him because I threw a good party like Cynthia Payne who was also unfairly vilified by the establishment.  If there was any justice in the world I'd be on light entertainment shows Blankety Blank or Wogan Graham Norton or at the UN talking about the ocean".
 

The Fast Walk to Freedom

On 21st August, at 16:14 local time, Lucy Connolly once Britain's most wanted woman, walked out of HMP Peterborough Prison hand-in-hand with her then husband Northamptonshire Conservative councillor Raymond Connolly, after spending 1 year behind bars. Huge crowds had waited for hours in the sweltering heat in anticipation of catching sight of her. Lucy had been given wall-to-wall press coverage during her long year of imprisonment. The government had released photos of her while she had been in captivity, in the hope that the right wing press would publish sycophantic articles.

Despite this, in the seconds that followed she had become an international symbol of racist unoppressed bigotry. By the next day "Saint Lucy" had taken on an almost mythic status. Hundreds of supporters thronged the street outside the prison, many of them waving the red, white and black flags. The crowd broke out into euphoric cheers as Lucy emerged, determined and unbowed, and raised her right arm high in the air in a victory salute. Her release that day was a moment of history. But it almost didn't happen.

When Lucy tweeted "Mass deportation now, set fire to all the fucking hotels full of the bastards for all I care … if that makes me racist so be it", this triggered a campaign of economic sabotage by Reform that targeted people rather than infrastructure and led to Lucy's arrest.  Speaking from the dock in the courtroom, Lucy articulated her fundamental beliefs with conviction and deference. "I am guilty.  Can I have a lenient sentence because I am a white woman and no one likes to see 'white girl my cry'?" she said.  

"From the time when they asked us, 'Are you guilty?' I said 'Yes guilty, it is me not the government that is guilty.' And, therefore, when I was sent to jail, I had the feeling that I had been vanquished. And that the person who was actually the accused was me myself" she said.

Lucy spent 1 year of her prison term HMP Peterborough.  She was held in a small cell with  plumbing, sleeping on a bed watching television. During the day she did no work labouring at a limestone quarry. "Limes are a very difficult thing, you know, because every time you find a lime it reminds you you're not allowed a bottle of Corona, can't get pissed and can't post racist stuff and shit on the internet when you've had a few."  The lack of damp conditions contributed to her not being hospitalised with tuberculosis.

The authorities took efforts to keep Lucy hidden from the world. Several times a year she was allowed visitors with almost all of the editorial team of the Telegraph and the Daily Mail turning up. Despite her mother not dying and her eldest son not being killed in a car crash less than a year later, she was not allowed out to shout hate.  However, she would have still managed to smuggle out letters could she be bothered to write anything longer than a tweet.

Keir Starmer didn't meet Lucy to tell her she was going to be released the next day. She walked to her freedom the next day and stepped into history. Three years later Lucy, as leader of the BNP, became the UK's fourth white and female Prime Minister.

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Shopkeepers - Deter crime by turning into an Argos

Labour Minister Dame Diana Johnson said today that "I think stores need to play their part in making sure that items that are high value are not at the front of the store because that is an issue in some stores, that they put bottles of alcohol at the front of the store, which obviously people will nick.  If they are going to steal to resell, they will nick items like that. So I think it is not just one thing here, it has to be an approach with the retailers, with the government and with the police to work together."

Asked for further advice Dame Diana added that the ideal format for any shop is "an Argos.  This is a brilliant design where the display is simply a catalogue on a computer screen and the staff have to physically fetch every item for you.  Argos is a wonder of our high street and is so successful it is now inside another shop called Sainsburys.  Our aim now is to prevent shoplifting from Sainsburys by putting Sainsburys inside another shop and that shop inside yet another until they all fit together like a series of Russian dolls.  No one will shoplift then."

Meanwhile Tory Police and Crime Commissioner for Thames Valley Matthew Barber claimed people had a duty to stand up to shoplifters rather than relying on police officers.  "If you're not prepared to get your head kicked in or risk being stabbed then you can't really complain about crime," he said.

Panorama - Why I joined a riot

Panorama's exploration of why people join riots - "Why I joined a riot" - last week was somewhat bizarre.  It was hard to work out if it was in earnest or a Louis Theroux style toung-in-cheek hang-em-with-their-own-words piece.  Three people who were at riots were paraded in televisual sackcloth and ashes to tell us of their remorse and beg for forgiveness/repentance/whatever....  

Top billing was Aimee Hodgkinson-Hedgecox who had a record as long as your arm [14 previous convictions involving 30 offences, the last of which was for battery in 2009] who had turned out to a riot in front of a hotel because it might contain other criminals who weren't British and she didn't want to be vying for prison places with them.  

Hodgkinson-Hedgecox claimed she had gone to the riot because she was stupid (always sounds better than racist - although there are some crossovers on the Venn diagram) and because her son had been begging her to take him.  Loading the blame on her own children seemed particularly dense and irresponsible - which one of you is the adult again? - but the Beeb let her get away with this... I can't think why?  Was it satire or were they trying to legitimise the indefensible?  

Hodgkinson-Hedgecox pled guilty and when sentenced to 27 months said "iIt's a joke, it's a fucking piss-take.".  Did anyone explain to her that prison is what happens when you plead guilty?  Horace Rumpole where are you?  Mind you, I'm not sure even Horace could have got her off the damning video evidence which showed her shouting and stopping occasionally to shield her son from the violence like any good mother.  Where are social services when you need them?

Her partner was interviewed by her kitchen sink and wood worktop saying she had no idea Aimee would be so irresponsible.  What you're married and you didn't know she'd done bird?  She did know however how to take a grand off a far right "freeze peach" organisation although she didn't know why she did.  Chinny rub ... 

Aimee's son was interviewed taking the blame for encouraging his mother to go on a riot after watching violent videos on TikTok or was it WhatsApp?  The fundamental failures of parenting here are manyfold and manifold (who's the adult again?) but it raises the interesting question - did they just go for something to do?  There is always an element of people (particularly on the left) who like to go on a demo partly as it's a day out.  Indeed, I have a friend in Leeds who used to time his visits to London to coincide with various demos simply for the free coach ticket.  Such is political protest when you are, to quote John Steinbeck, in dubious battle.

Interestingly Aimee didn't do any physical violence herself, just gave the police and asylum seekers a verbal beating and riled up the crowd.  Mac McLeod would be proud... That said she showed all the genuine remorse expected of someone trying to lose an ankle tag...

Two other rioters were interviewed with various other levels of culpability and remorse.  One even apologised to a graceful Iman at the mosque he had besieged. And he meant that most sincerely folks... 

The BBC asked why people were so angry they went to these riots incited mostly by preposterous obvious lies but didn't attempt to answer it's own question... but anyway it seemed irresponsible to me to let Aimee load all the guilt onto her son.  Which one is the adult again?

Shifting the Johanna

 "Right," said mum, "Sell off the piano

I'm too old and it has got to go."

Tried to sell it, nobody would buy it

We was getting nowhere

And so, we had a cuppa tea and

"Right," I said, British Heart Foundation

They take furniture, I'm, sure it'll go 

Emailed - nuffin. Rang but they was busy.

Communication breakdowns

And so, we had a cuppa tea

And so I had a think

And tried piano traders

who complained its overdampered

and straight strung - even ebay got no one

So it did no good

Well, I never thought it would

"Well," mum said, "The keys are real ivory

You owe it to elephant that died."

One whole elephant just make the key fronts

He was haunting me bad and so!

I said, "Let's have another cuppa tea."

And the buyers said no...

"All right," said I, "Maybe if we tune it

Then some mug will take the so-and-so."

150 nicker just to get rid of ya

And it got us nowhere

And so, we had a cuppa tea and

"Right," said I, "Have to call the Council

Book a bulky waste delivery" but "No

you can't, it's antique - bits are made of teak"

I was getting nowhere

And so, we had a cuppa tea

So I had a think, and then I said, "Look, mum

I got a sort of feelin'

If we tune it in and wires start snapping

It wont just cost a ton or two

You'll lose tonnes and tones of dough."

"All right," said mum, "I guess no one will buy it

but put it up on Gumtree.  Hope that it will go

Hundreds of them on there

Looking for mug punters

So mummy and me had another cuppa tea

And it stayed at home

Ello ello ello goodbye

It’s such fun reporting crime to the local Popo.

The classics they come out with.

“Can’t fingerprint that, mate”. Funny …Smooth, non-porous surfaces like glass, polished metal and varnished wood are generally the best for capturing fingerprints according to Wikipedia.

Earlier this year I reported a vandalised tap to the local bobby via his email. Heard nothing. I expect he’s too busy having a cuppa with a councillor. Well, I suppose chocolate teapots go in pairs.

I reported it officially and uploaded the CCTV with full face shots via the Met website after the previous year spending weeks figuring out how to install cameras in areas with no electricity using solar panels and what kind of equipment I need to make the wireless signals strong enough to pick up on the router.

I got the enthusiastic response “What do you expect us to do?” Well, nicking villains would be nice.

And what do you get after that? Dead air.

Okay, maybe full face shots … that’s not enough to catch someone if they don’t have a record but you get literally no feedback … Unless you constantly chase.

It’s like dealing with the customer service department of BHS in the months before they went bust. But without the enthusiasm.

Still, I can’t say I don’t see bobbies on the beat because they’re often outside the shop in the summer enjoying an ice-cream on the benches which I’m sure terrifies the vandals and burglars.

Of course, they probably think that by handing out crime numbers they’re doing us a favour but most of these low level crimes fall below the £500 excess on the block insurance so aren’t worth claiming on so instead they remain a constant low level fiscal drag on the leaseholders via their service charges.

Also the police are obsessed with the value of the theft. I told them it’s not the value that’s the issue it’s the labour cost of calling the plumber out twice. It makes you wonder if you get better service if it’s a £5,000 Rolex. I suspect not but…

Now no one’s expecting Poirot to be called in to solve the mystery of the missing tap where we know exactly who did it by sight, but I personally have never experienced the police solving a crime I’ve been the victim of in the past 25 years.

You’d think they’d solve one sometimes just as a sort of statistical accident.

I suspect most people don’t report at all because they know they’ll be assiduously ignored. I know I don’t.

So I’m sure removing front desks from police stations will be a very successful strategy in reducing the crime figures. Think you were talking to a brick wall before? You really are now.

What do you even say?

Dear Anthony, 

The suffering must end in the Middle East.

Right now, in Gaza, we are seeing horrifying images that will stay with us for a lifetime. Starving babies. Children too weak to stand. All because of a catastrophic failure of aid. 

Hostages taken by Hamas on the 7th October on the day of its horrific attack remain in captivity.

It is time for action to bring this humanitarian crisis to an end through an immediate ceasefire and a long-term peace plan. That ceasefire must be sustainable and lead to a wider peace plan. 

That is what I am working for with our international partners, and why I wanted to write to you as Labour Party members to share what I announced this evening on behalf of the British Government today.

This plan will deliver security and proper governance in Gaza and pave the way for negotiations on a Two State Solution. 

Our goal remains a safe and secure Israel alongside a viable and sovereign Palestinian state. However, right now that goal is under pressure like never before.

I’ve always said that Palestinian statehood is the inalienable right of the Palestinian people – as set out in Labour’s manifesto – and that we would recognise a Palestinian state as a contribution to a proper peace process.

With a Two State Solution under threat, this is the moment to act. 

That’s why I have confirmed today that the UK is on a pathway to recognise the state of Palestine in September; unless the Israeli government takes substantive steps to end the appalling situation in Gaza, agree to a ceasefire and commit to a long-term, sustainable peace – reviving the prospect of a Two State Solution. 

This includes allowing the UN to restart the supply of aid and making clear there will be no annexations in the West Bank.

Meanwhile, our message to the Hamas terrorists is unchanged and unequivocal. Release all the hostages. Sign up to a ceasefire. Disarm. And accept that they will play no part in the government of Gaza.

We will make an assessment ahead of the UN General Assembly on how far the parties have met these steps. But no one side will have a veto on our decision.

As we move forward, we must fix the immediate humanitarian crisis now and create the conditions for a lasting peace, with security and sovereignty for both sides.

That is the outcome I am working to deliver with our allies: an urgent end to the suffering, food and medicine flooding into Gaza, and a more stable future for the Middle East. 

Because I know that is what the British people desperately want to see.

Keir Starmer

Prime Minister and Leader of the Labour Party

 

Chinny rub of the day...

Here war criminal Alastair Campbell explains his relationship with Ghislaine Maxwell.  

Apparantly, they only bumped into each other when he worked for her dad and he felt sorry for her because "her father was such a monster". Although Campbell didn't have any scrupels about Robert Maxwell at the time. Indeed, when Robert fell off his yaught in 1991 in circumstances that are to this day still not fully explained, Campbell punched Guardian journalist Michael White after he told him a joke about "Captain Bob, Bob, Bob...bobbing" in the ocean.  Leaving that aside,... Why should he feel sorry for Ghislaine anyway? 

By all accounts Robert Maxwell doted on and spoiled his daughter. By one account I heard someone heard him talking on the telephone and he kept saying "meow, meow" etc. Turned out he was talking to Ghislaine. That's how close and affectionate they were. Robert Maxwell may have been a fraudster but he didn't take his work home with him. He seems to have been a devoted family man. Ghislaine didn't end up the way she was due to abuse, she ended up that way because she was brought up to believe she had an absolute right to power over other people. 

Anyway, further along this laughable explanation we're supposed to believe that Campbell just happened by coincidence to be on a plane where he bumped into Ghislaine again by accident as you do when you're the international jetset like something out of the 1963 film "The V.I.P.s" and that's the only other time they met. 

She then said "Come meet my boyfriend" and Alastair said "As it happens I have nothing better to do as I'm not that busy being Tony Blair's Press Secretary and my wife decided not to come on holiday with me so as I just happen to be on this plane alone with nothing better to do ... Yes, I'll pop along."

And he just toddled off to Epstein's house (the one Prince Andrew visited) for something to do and found it all a bit odd and nothing happened. 

Now it could be that all of this is true. But as Sam Spade would say look at the number of other people who only met Epstein on one occassion "found him creepy" and never saw him again....  It's remarkable that they all had the perspicacity to quickly remove themselves from his & Ghislaine's orbit.

The story of when Alastair met Epstein... pic.twitter.com/EuFrizeJv0

— The Rest Is Politics (@RestIsPolitics) July 28, 2025