Monday, 7 January 2019

War Criminal Mr Blair pops down Parliament for a night out with old mates...

The courts having decided that they can’t do anything about Tony’s contempt for parliament because waging aggressive war while being the number one war crime isn’t a crime under UK law Tony has recently been climbing out from under the Chilcot stone to reward us all with his opinions again.  And so in amongst the Brexit lecturers at Speakers House on BBC Parliament I also noticed the one and only Tony Blair… and as I am in pain with tonsilitis I thought I might watch it.

Tony appearing in public is however still something of a rare thing as he’s continually in hiding from George Monbiot’s Arrest Blair campaign whereby the plebs are incited to perform a citizen’s arrest for war crimes for 25 per cent of the pot which at the moment stands at £10,574.89.  Nobody wanted £2643.72 on this night.  But then Speakers House isn’t really public.

Speaker Jon Bercow introduced the former Prime Minister with the most sycophantic build up imaginable.  It was clearly a massive coup for him to bag the former PM and he duly behaved like an open mic promoter who’d managed to book Stewart Lee – describing Tony Blair as having the greatest clarity of political thought in living memory. 

To be fair he did win 3 elections and the room of spads, politicos and MPs were clearly in desperate love still with Mr Blair.  There was even whistling as he ascended to the podium.  Other speakers sat in chairs but Mr Blair had a podium.  It was as if for one night only the Blairite wing of the Labour party was allowed to forget all about the Iraq War and the financial crash and it was time to party again like it was 1999.  Or maybe even 1997.  For bliss it was in that time to be New Labour.  But to be Tony Blair was very heaven. 

The old magic was still there.  The Cheshire Cat like grin and the sparkle in the eyes.  You could almost forget the elephant in the room.  Still, maybe Tony looks better these days in the same way that George W Bush looks better to those enduring Donald “How can you sack someone who’s doing a good job running the government that they keep shutting down?” Trump.  Tony told the mutual admiration society to roll around in their minds the idea of making a decision you could never revise.  Stating that no one would get married on such terms.  So I read the wedding vows and as a result I promise to be true to Brexit in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor the Referrendum decision all the days of my life from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until Article 50 do us part. Who gave us all these ideas of open borders anyway?

While the Iraq War was easily expunged from Blair’s monologue Mr Corbyn was harder to be in denial of and no one fainted with amazement as Mr Blair ripped into Mr Corbyn’s “we could do Brexit negotiations better” policy.  He said that Ms May’s plan of locking everyone into a timetable that could only deliver a “Tory Brexit” was not too late to stop… and made many many arguments along the lines of “only now do we understand what the vote means” to argue for a 2nd referendum.  And on and on and on and then just as if it was 1997 again…

… a standing ovation.  And like that... he's gone again.

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